


Habits

by CCaptainRex



Series: Habits [1]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Reader-Insert, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, no "Y/N"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:49:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 53,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26163673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CCaptainRex/pseuds/CCaptainRex
Summary: You and Rex make a habit of accidentally falling asleep on each other.
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex/Original Female Character(s), CT-7567 | Rex/Reader
Series: Habits [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1944595
Comments: 125
Kudos: 303





	1. When It Rains

"Are you done yet?" God, sometimes you wanted to hit Rex over the head with a wrench. Today was not the day to complain, at least not to you; He was the one in full armour, protected from the pouring rain and the cold, and you were the one sat in a puddle fixing a broken speeder. A speeder _he_ broke.

And to think, this all started from a stupid flyer. When the Clone Wars broke out, everything turned upside down. Planets were ravaged, rations were hard to come by and work was more tiring than ever. You were barely out of school to become an engineer when you came across a flyer asking for volunteers for the Republics Auxilary Forces, civilians helping with the more mundane problems that clones don't have to worry about. 

It felt right, working for a good cause. You could get off of this stupid dust planet and see the galaxy. You hadn't thought about the battles, or the gruelling work, or the things you'd see. You were the perfect civilian for the Republic; Good with ships, good with droids, smart on your feet and they were more than willing to throw you into the fray. 

Sometimes you wish you were okay with the mundane and just stuck to being a mechanic on some far off dust planet and not here, in the soaking rain, fixing a speeder. "Hey, I asked if the speeder was ready yet?" 

"For the last time, Rex, no, it's not ready. So, maybe, if you gave me some peace and kriffing silence I could finish fixing it and not be stuck out here freezing to death. Don't you have a battalion to go annoy?" You stick your flashlight between your teeth to keep yourself from saying anything else unpleasant and go back to stripping wires and reconnecting them, a dangerous game to be playing in the rain. 

You expect Rex to say something snappy back but he stays silent, and you glance up to see him just walking away back to the tents. You let out a sigh and turn back to working on the speeder. A moment passes and something heavy falls onto your shoulders, startling you, and you drop both the wire strippers and flashlight into the mud. 

Grabbing whatever was on your shoulders, your nails sink into...fabric? You tug the blanket tighter around yourself and stare up with Rex, who has his hands on his hips, and even with the helmet, you can tell he's giving you an expecting look. "Well? Finish up, Civ." 

It's a sweet gesture that you don't expect from Rex. Normally he's very strict and runs everything to his standards, and you don't think you've had a fairly pleasant conversation with him besides the few times he took a break to eat with the rest of the crew. "Thanks, Rex." 

"You were the one complaining about freezing to death." He leaves and you finish in silence, a rare thing, and despite the blanket, the cold still seeps into your bones. Why can't you ever have missions on nice, spring planets? Not too hot, not too cold, just a perfect temperature. You hand off the speeder to one of the clones and groan, trudging towards the makeshift shelter for the night. 

Normally, you'd have barracks, or accommodations, or something, but this attack relied on very few ships, meaning it was tents and sleeping rolls. Then, of course, the world decided it just had to downpour the entire time you were here. Fun. 

There's a loud crack that snaps you from your wallowing and you turn to look up at the sky expecting lightning, but instead, you find the trail of a missile. 

"Take cover!" Some yells before impact and you cover your head and dive towards a crashed LAAT/i. On normal campaigns, you'd be running around and fixing things but this is downtime, in between rushes, and you don't know what to do. You nestle yourself behind the ship with a sigh, feeling the ground shake below you.

You can't fight, there isn't anything to repair yet, no one's commed you. Tents won't do any good. You let your head rest back against the ship and its dry. The rain doesn't hit, you're protected from the wind, and if there's anything battle has taught you it's to sleep anywhere. You don't mean to fall asleep but your eyes slip close and you drift to nothingness. 

"CIV!" You wake to a hand grasping at you and you jolt, coming face to face with Rex. Rex without a helmet. Your first concern is that, Rex is never without his helmet, the second is why he looks scared. "You alright Civ? Not hurt?" 

"I'm all good - What's wrong?" He sighs and sits beside you, letting his arms rest on his knees. The ground no longer shakes and there's no more shouting, so you assume the attack is over. Rex rubs at his face, leaving a streak of mud on his cheek. 

"Couldn't find you and thought you got hit. Then I saw you here, and well..." He was worried about you. Rex was concerned about you and went out of his way to find you. 

You hate the warm, fuzzy feeling it gives you, but it's better than the cold outside. "That's sweet." 

"You're my only civilian, I can't have you dying on me." Before, you'd envied Rex for his armour, but being closer to him you make out the dirt and grime that covered him. He's in worse shape than you, and that's saying something. "Did you seriously fall asleep during an attack?" 

"I knew you had me covered." You shift off the blanket and wrap it around his shoulders. He resists, trying to pull the blanket away. "You need it more than me, Rex. Speaking of sleep, when's the last time you actually slept?" 

"15? 20 Hours?" You scowl at him and he rolls his eyes. "I have to lead my men, Civ. I don't have time to waste napping." 

Despite what he says, he yawns, and you shake your head. "Literally take a twenty minute nap. Half hour. You're of no use if you're dead on your feet." 

"Ten minutes." At least he's negotiating. 

"Fifteen." You watch sleep pull at him and yawns again with a nod. You expect him to get up and go back to the tents, but instead, he leans his head on your shoulder with a sigh. You tense for a moment, unsure of what to do. Your captain has decided to fall asleep on your shoulder, and you gently wrap your arm around his side. 

It feels oddly right, feeling his chest rise and fall beside you. He's out cold, and you take the time to study his peaceful face. You figure this is the only time you'll ever get to see him so at peace, and it dawns on you how much you want to see him look like this more often. Almost happy. 

You lean back against the ship and stare up at the sky, hearing the rest of the men move and work around you. Maybe you'll let him sleep for fifteen, or maybe you'll let him rest for longer. He definitely needs it. 


	2. Easy Work

You don't mean to make it a habit. Rex had fallen asleep on your shoulder once, it had been a hard campaign, he was just exhausted. When he awoke he said nothing of it, but since then, he's just been...less mean? Less harsh? He didn't rush you as much, complained less. Maybe you had some effect on him, or maybe he just got a good nights sleep for once. 

You didn't mean to make it a habit, but you hadn't slept for a day straight. It was easy work, honestly, repairing engines, faulty wiring, whatever needed to be done, but it just piled up on itself and you were falling asleep over an astromech droid, splayed out on the table in front of you. 

You nodded off once, catching yourself and going back to work. You weren't even on a hard campaign, this was nothing compared to what you've seen. But everything needed something done and it added up and you were drowning in it. "Kriff, Civ, you look terrible." 

"Gee thanks." You try not to jump at Rex's voice, who's probably here to berate you about something or another that needs fixing. Instead, he sets down a mug of something in front of you and you don't care what it is, downing it. It was some bitter caf, which normally you'd hate, but it gives you a small boost to finish connecting the parts for its booster. 

"When the last time you slept?" You squint at the clock on the screen of your datapad and shrug. You honestly don't know

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Your sentence is cut off by a yawn and Rex pats your shoulder. "No, I need to finish this, I can sleep tomorrow." 

Rex rolls his eyes and pulls your chair away from the table. "A wise woman once said 'You're no used if you're dead on your feet' and I think that applies here." 

"Well, that wise woman also needs to finish this. Really, I'm good." He scowls at you and you just stare back, too tired to make an effort. He bends down and you don't what he's trying to do before he picks you up, cradling you in his arms. You wrap your arms around his neck with a gasp. "Rex! You're going to drop me, put me down!"   
"Only if you go off to bed." You scowl at him and huff and he laughs, actually laughs at you before setting you down. You're too shocked by the sound of Rex laughing to do anything so you just sit perched on the edge of the table looking at him. He catches you staring and does a double-take, and maybe you're seeing things, but the tips of his ears go pink. "What?" 

"Nothing. Just tired." He gestures to the door. "Rex, you should know better than anyone that duty calls first. Finish the droid, then sleep. They need this ready by tomorrow." 

He seems suspicious of that and picks up the datapad reading the instructions. "Why don't you have someone help you?" 

"Only trust my own hands." You fiddle with two pieces and try to put them together but you just end up dropping them. You know enough that if something were to happen, something you could've fixed but someone else missed, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself.

"If it makes it quicker, I'll help you?" He seems hesitant to ask, and you turn to look up at him. Rex isn't one to look shy, but here, he does, like he's afraid you'll turn him away.

"Don't you have things to do?" He shakes his head and picks up the pieces you dropped, connecting them. 

He's been so nice lately. Maybe it's your sleep-deprived brain you have the urge to hug him, and you shake your head to move the thoughts away. "I've got the evening off, finished my report." 

"Then you should be out at like, 79's, or hanging out with your friends, not helping me assemble a droid." He seems taken aback by the words, and you wonder if you've offended him. Maybe he doesn't drink? He opens his mouth to say something and pauses, before setting the piece down. 

"I don't mind, if it gets you off to bed. Now, come on, what am I supposed to do?" Really, it's just assembly at this point. A screw here, wire here, a weld here. Slowly but surely, you put everything back together, and you keep catching yourself staring at Rex. He smiles, and laughs, and makes jokes that make you laugh, he's so...friendly. He wasn't like this before. 

The last step to is to attach the body to the head, and you set the pieces on the ground to properly fit them together, sat cross-legged with Rex beside you chuckling as you curse out the droid. At some point he moves to lean against your back, arms wrapped around to help finish the connection. 

He's radiating heat, like your personal heater and you let yourself lean back into him. You'll say it's the sleep talking tomorrow, that you were just delirious and in need of a nap or something, but when Rex leans back from the droid you follow him, head resting back on his shoulder, and he lets you. 

You sit there like that for a while before you pass out, and Rex moves you into his lap, content with just holding you. He'll never admit it, but your shoulder was the best sleep he'd had in a long time, and it's only fair he returns the favour. When you wake again you're still like that, tangled up, and Rex is just looking down at you with a smile. If you were a braver soul, you'd lean up and kiss him, but there are so many wrongs that go with this right that you know you can't. "Goodmorning, Civ." 

"How long was I out?" You rub your eyes and Rex picks up the datapad with a laugh. 

"Maybe twenty minutes. Come on, lets get you back to barracks." You're silent as you walk back to your barracks, the place deserted at this time of night. You stop in front of your barracks door, knowing clones aren't allowed in. I supposed that goes out to all male personnel as well. You both want to say something, anything to break the silence, maybe an admittance of what this is, but you can't. 

So you don't. "Goodnight, Rex." 

"Night, Civ." 


	3. A Loyal Man

Umbara. The word leaves a vile taste in your mouth, having heard enough reports and gossip to know what happened. You're glad to have been not a part of the battle, but at the same time, you wish you could've been there for Rex. Ever since the 501st landed, you hadn't seen or heard from him. Fear bubbled up under the surface, a million what-if's, and you had to push them down and keep working. Rex was strong, he can take care of himself. The question is will he? 

"Are you Civ?" Looking up from a broken panel, you lock eyes with Kix, one of the medics, and your heart sinks deep into your chest. 

"Yes, is everything alright?" He nods, gesturing for you to follow him. You should probably pack up, or something, but you abandon your tools and follow him towards sickbay. 

"I'm told that you're the person to go to if the Captain needs sleep." You blush, not aware that others knew of you and Rex. "And right now he's causing a fuss, I was hoping you could help me out." 

The doors slide open to the sickbay, and your heart shatters by how full of patients it is. Some with simple wounds, others on their deathbed. Rex stands among them, arms crossed, just in his blacks. He makes his way from bed to bed and back again, and you approach, his eyes don't meet yours. "Hey, Rex." 

"Civ." His tone is short and clipped as he checks over a medical log. You gently lay a hand on his arm and he tenses, instincts breaking through as he moves to rip your hand away. He stops himself with a sigh, letting his hand fall. "Sorry, a bit on edge." 

"I know. You should get some sleep." He looks angrily over at Kix, who pretends not to be watching. "Or at least shower and eat something, you've had a rough couple of days." 

"I don't need to rest. I need to make sure they're okay." His voice is strained and urgent like if he doesn't, they'll all die. Rex is a loyal man, and his brothers mean the world to him. Even over his own health. 

You reach a hand up to wipe some dirt from his cheek with a sigh, and he leans into the touch. Around others, you know the motion didn't go unnoticed, but Rex is probably too high strung to think about that. "They're in good hands, Rex. Come on." 

"I don't want to go." His voice is a whisper now, eyes trained on yours. "Please, I need to make sure they're all okay." 

"I won't fight you on this." He seems surprised at that, a small smile tugging at his lips. "At least let me get you something to eat from the mess hall?" 

He nods and when you move to walk away his hand grips yours, tight. "Come back soon, okay Civ?" 

"I'll be back before you know it." You've never run down the halls of the Resolute before, so whizzing past generals and other clones is very strange and you keep wanting to apologize. But you return quickly with a bowl of soup and find Rex in the exact same spot. You motion for him to move towards a row of empty beds. "Alright, come sit and eat before it gets cold." 

"I can stand." You pull him towards an empty cot and he doesn't fight it, sitting on the edge with a groan. He takes the bowl from your hands and drinks it slowly, and you take in the damage from the battle. He's not physically hurt, so it seems, but he looks so drained and sad, something else had to happen to make him like this. He looks up from the bowl, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "I missed you." 

The admission makes your heart flutter and you sit next to him with a smile, patting his knee. "I missed you too. I was stuck with repairing screens all week, could've used some company." 

"Screens can't be that bad." You wiggle your bandaged hand in front of him, having shattered glass and getting some stuck in your hand. He reaches out and takes it, studying it like it's some fatal wound. "What did you do?" 

"I stuck my hand into broken glass." He laughs in disbelief, leaning back and rubbing his hand over his face. 

"You need someone around to keep you from doing stupid things." You poke his side with a laugh and realize he's yet to let go of your hand, holding it gently in his. He doesn't mention it, so you won't.

"That's your job, Rex." He shakes his head with a small smile. 

"You're worse than the general, and that's saying something." You laugh softly, knowing for a fact that most of Rex's job is keeping the general from doing stupid things. You catch Rex staring at you, and when your eyes meet his blushes and quickly looks away, pretending to observe Kix changing a bandage. 

Rex tries to stifle a yawn, but you still catch it, leaning into his side. "You should rest, Rex."

"You should..." You look up at him, trying to figure out what stopped him mid-sentence, and find him asleep on your shoulder, again. Kix sends you two thumbs up and you smile, slowly leaning back to lay Rex down on the cot. He wakes briefly, hand still intertwined with yours, and he grips onto it. Hard. "Please don't go." He looks hurt that you were leaving him, and you sit back on the edge of the bed. There are things you should be doing, elsewhere, but you can't bring yourself to leave him. 

"I'll be right here, okay?" He falls back asleep easily, snoring softly, and Kix tosses a blanket over him. 

"I don't know how you did that, but thank you." You shrug and slowly slip your hand from his, trying not to feel bad. 

"It's no problem, really," You say quietly as Rex mutters something in his sleep and you and Kix share a smile. A thought crosses your mind, and you glance from Rex back to Kix. "Can you find me? When he wakes up? He won't be happy I have to leave." 

"Sure thing." You spare one last look at Rex and as much as your brain tells you to go, you remain by his side for a minute or two more, just watching him sleep peacefully. You don't realize Kix is still by your side, doing the same. "You know, Rex has always had trouble sleeping." 

"Really?" To be fair, you'd only known Rex for a little while, but you'd still assumed that like most clones he could just sleep anytime, anywhere. 

"That day he fell asleep with you under the landing craft? A miracle, really." You blush and shake your head, not thinking about who probably saw the two of you passed out together. You turn back to look at Rex, wondering what goes through his mind. Why he can fall asleep so easily around you and not his brothers. 

You stand slowly, trying not to wake him, and have to fight the urge to kiss him goodnight. 

Kix doesn't tell you when he wakes up.


	4. Interesting Eyes

For once, in a blue moon, you're planetside. No broken droids, faulty commlinks, engines in need of repair. You even have the luxury of the barrack beds, the civilian room all to yourself. Falling asleep, it's unlikely anything can wake you after being gone for so long. When you wake to a loud bang on the door, you prove yourself wrong. 

You don't know what to expect. It's the middle of the night, there's nothing to do, no battles to be fought. Opening it, you're shocked to find Rex. You almost don't recognize him, the top half of his armour gone to reveal his blacks. His eyes don't meet yours, locked on the floor in front of you, and you barely hear him when he talks. "May I come in?" 

"Of course," It almost feels wrong letting Rex into your room, like you're a teenager again sneaking a boy into your room. "Is everything alright?" For the first time, you see your captain break. His hands shake when he runs them over his hair and he still has yet to look you in the eyes. At first, you think it's the lights playing tricks on you, but instead, it's tears running down Rex's cheeks. You reach up and gently cup his face and he leans into the touch with a shuddering breath. "Hey, hey, it's alright, I'm here." 

You feel helpless. Useless. Like there's nothing you can do to stop him from feeling this pain and it hurts. You don't ask him what's wrong, knowing he won't say. Him coming to you, to cry, is more than what he's normally willing to ever show. You pull him down into a hug and he sinks into it, face buried into your shoulder and he holds you tight. It's a lot to process at once: You went from barely a friendship to being each other's comfort, from nothing to hugs in the middle of the night. "Everything's alright, Rex, I'm right here." 

He pulls away slowly, wiping at his tears. "I'm sorry, Civ," His voice is hoarse and quiet and he sounds so broken. "I-I didn't know where to go." 

"You came to the right place." You guide him to sit on the edge of your bed, perching yourself beside him. He leans into your side and you gently rub his back, feeling how tense his muscles are. "Maker, Rex. You're..." He turns to look at you, a broken expression on his face. A stray tear makes it's way down his cheek and you wipe it away. "Is there anything I can do?" 

"Can I," He trails off, moving his head so he doesn't look at you. "Can I stay with you tonight?" 

"Anytime, Rex." To your surprise he turns and falls back onto the bed, head hitting the pillow with a sigh. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes and lets out a long breath, and you wonder what would happen if someone found you like this. Rex, in your bed. He would never hear the end of it, would he? 

Rex looks up after a moment, almost in confusion. "Well? Come lay down." Even vulnerable Rex is still the same, and you gently lay down beside him, and for a second, neither of you know what to do. Rex makes the first move, snaking his arm under you and turning on his side to face you. 

Your faces are so close your noses almost touch, and you take a good long look at him. His face is the same as every other clone out there, yet it's different. You could pick him out of a crowd of thousands, and you wonder when your feelings towards Rex changed. A month ago you felt nothing for the captain and now? Now you felt everything at once. 

"You have...interesting eyes." Rex's voice breaks the silence and you can't help but laugh, a full-bodied laugh that makes you press a hand over your mouth. Taking a glance at Rex, he looks less than amused. "What?" 

"Oh, nothing. Just 'interesting eyes' is quite a compliment." He rolls his eyes and wraps his other arm around you, fingers gently tapping on your side. 

"I'm trying to be romantic, okay?" Your eyes widen, the first time admitting there's something more between you two. "It's my first time ever being this close to someone, I'm trying my best." 

You roll onto your side to face him, hand sliding up to pat him on the chest. "You're doing great, Rex. I think you have interesting eyes too." 

You stare at each other, a long moment that means everything at once. It's here, where if you were in a movie or a fairy tale you'd lean in and kiss and it would be a perfect moment, but you don't. There's so much around you that says no, you can't. He's a clone, he's your captain, there's no way for you to have a proper happy ending anytime soon. You're too afraid to admit your feelings or admit your doubts, so you tuck your head against his chest with a sigh and pretend that moment meant nothing. 

Rex leans his forehead on top of your head, and his arms tighten on you. "I had a dream. A nightmare, whatever, and everyone died. And I know it's stupid but we clones rarely get dreams and...and.." It makes sense, a simple nightmare causing this much damage. His brothers, his general, this war, it was all Rex had. Having that taken away from him would kill him quicker than any battle would.

"And it scared you." He nods and takes another deep breath. "It's just a nightmare, alright? I'm still here." You gently pat his chest for emphasis. "You can come to me whenever you need me, alright?" 

"Thank you, cyare." The word is new, and probably Mando'a. If you were more awake, you'd ask what it means, but tonight you're content to lay in Rex's arms and let sleep take you. "Can you promise me something?" 

"Anything." You tilt your head up to look at Rex, whose eyes are filled with something new. Something much softer and sweeter than anything you're ever used to. 

He gently tucks some hair behind your ear with a smile. "Never change." You don't know what you expected, really. Maybe a 'don't die' or something, but not...not that. You blush and try not to look at him, and he uses his bent finger under your chin to turn your head back towards him. "Promise?" 

"I promise, Rex." Sleep pulls at both of you and you tug at a blanket which Rex tosses over you with a sigh. You let your eyes flutter close, caught up in the warmth and how nice it was to be held by someone. 


	5. Always Come Back

Rex never seemed to catch a break. First Umbara, then Zygerria. After hearing enough rumours, the only thing you could think about was Rex, trapped on some slaver planet with maker-knows-what happening to him. The problem is, is it was all rumours. They can't just go out giving away information to anyone, and you're left in the dark for another week. 

Nothing takes your mind off it, so when you see General Kenobi arrive and immediately sent to sickbay, your fears only rise. You don't see Rex with the rest of them, don't hear about him, and you feel like you could shrivel up and die right there in the hangar bay. 

Maybe he's being sent back out on another mission. 

Maybe he's fine and has to run a debrief with someone. 

Maybe he's just really hungry and went to the mess hall. 

What you don't expect is to find him sitting on your bed in your little barracks room, shirtless and trying to patch himself up. If this were any other moment, you'd take another moment just to take that in, but you see blood and are instantly at his side. "Rex, what're you doing here?" 

"Wanted to see you." He grunts out, reaching awkwardly around himself to wipe at his back. They're not deep cuts, but long and dried blood speckles around them. You gasp and gently place a hand on his back, wondering what could've made a wound like this. "Civ, I'm okay. I'm okay." His words don't ease your fears. 

"Why aren't you at sickbay?" You take the washcloth from him and sit behind him, gently wiping over the dried blood and trying not to irritate his wounds. He hisses and you gently place a hand on his side, hoping it comforts him. His hand reaches up and covers it, holding it there. 

"Told everyone I wasn't hurt." Of course he did. He didn't want anyone to worry, he was being a good soldier, blah blah blah. You wanted to smack him, but he's in enough pain already. He leans down to grab something and groans when his wounds stretch on his back. "Maybe I should've gone to sickbay." 

You sigh as he hands you a bottle of alcohol to clean the wounds with. "You probably should've, I won't be nearly as good of a nurse as Kix." 

"You're nicer to look at," You blush, happy Rex isn't facing you. If you could've seen Rex's face, he was blushing too, lack of sleep and pain making his brain a bit fuzzy. 

"Well, in that case, I can make an exception. This is going to hurt, alright?" You pour some onto the rag in your hand and gently rub it over one cut. Rex's body goes tense but he does say anything, hands now fists at his side. You wipe each one down, Rex wincing or hissing with each. He's awfully strong, but even this must hurt. When you're done, you leave your place from behind him and kneel in front of him. Your first thought should be comfort but his hair has grown longer than you've last seen him and you gently run a hand through his hair and he leans into your touch with a small smile. "There, we're all good. You have bacta patches or bandages?" 

He holds out a container of bacta patches and you return to your spot behind him, careful not to hurt him too much as you apply them. His back is littered with other scars, and you gently run a finger over one that runs on his shoulder. "I got that one when I was tossed into the air by an explosion, came down on that arm and broke it." 

"That must've hurt," Luckily enough, you hadn't had any major injuries while working with the 501st. 

"You get used to it after a while." He's used to it? Being in pain? How many missions has he gone on that ended up with him in pain? Or almost dead? The thought brings tears to your eyes, and Rex turns to figure out what rendered you silent. You quickly wipe at your eyes and Rex panics, pulling you into his arms even though you know it hurts him as he does so. "Hey, hey, I'm okay, I'm alright." 

"But you could've not been! I-I saw the General and he was all hurt and I thought the worst and-and-" He pulls you into his lap and gently rocks, a calming motion for the both of you. "And I worry about you all the time." 

He rests his forehead on the top of yours, looking down at you with a smile. "I'm okay, sure, I got a bit beat up, but that happens every mission." He arms tighten around you. "But I promise I'll always come back, okay? You can't get rid of me that easily." 

You both stare for a while, a tender moment between you two and all you want is for this to be normal. That being held against Rex's chest as he promises to come back be your normal, and happen every night. To be something more than a late-night comfort. But it can't, and as you look at each other, that becomes more true with every passing second. 

Because someone will come looking for you, or Rex, or he needs to write up a report or be sent away on another mission and for right now, if all you have is another moment to sit and be in each other's arms, so be it. "You better keep that promise." 

-

Rex left for a briefing and you went back to fixing up a landing craft, and you expect that to be it. On another mission, or another late night, you could find each other again, but it won't happen for a while. You can't keep making excuses for each other. 

You're lounging in bed reading when Rex enters your room, like it's normal, stripping off his armour and talking about something stupid Fives did. He sits down at the edge of your bed and tugs off his boots with a sigh, smiling up at you. He seems almost confused by the shock on your face. "What?" 

"Shouldn't you be in the barracks?" He shakes his head and rides himself of his chest plate, movements slower with his back. 

"Kix told me I needed to rest, and gave me permission to use one of the empty barrack rooms." You laugh softly, cupping his face in your hands, tilting his head side to side.

"Did you hit your head on that mission, or are you actually listening to Kix giving you orders?" He moves your hands away and gently lays down on his side with a hiss. 

You didn't expect this, not at all, but it's a welcome surprise. "I saw a loophole and took it. I'm willing to listen to Kix's orders if it means I can stay with-" He cuts himself off, looking away from you. You stay silent for a moment, knowing why he doesn't say what he should.

"I must be special if you're willing to obey Kix's rule for me." He blushes, and you run a hand through his hair with a smile. His eyes close with a soft hum, and you move to shift his head into your lap, playing with his hair while he dozes. "You need a haircut." 

"I'll just shave it tomorrow." He looks up at you and props himself up on one elbow. "Or maybe I should grow it out like the Generals?" 

"Oh please, no, I can't picture you with long hair." He laughs and pulls you to lay down beside him, just like before, and his expression softens as he wraps an arm around you. Kix's comment from earlier returns and you look up at Rex. "Can I ask you a question?" 

He nods, looking down at you with almost concern. "Anything." 

"Kix said that you used to not sleep well. Before me, I mean." Rex sighs, closing his eyes and tapping his fingers on your side. 

"I used to get these terrible dreams and it would keep me from sleeping. I was just so exhausted when I fell asleep on you and...and I didn't dream for once. And then at the sickbay, I didn't dream either, so after that nightmare, I sought you out. I guess...I guess just having someone there helps." He seems embarrassed to admit it, but you just smile up at him. 

"I'm glad to help." Rex smiles back, face leaning closer before simply resting his forehead on yours again. 

"I hope...I hope you don't feel forced to lay here with me if I ever make you feel uncomfortable-" You press a hand over his mouth and he looks shocked, quickly looking down at you. 

He's such a gentleman, always so proper that sometimes he forgets himself. "I like having you here, okay? You're not forcing me to do anything." 

"Oh." He lays there in silence and it hurts he's somewhat surprised by your answer. 

"Now come on, you've had a long enough day, let's get some sleep." He curls into you and falls asleep in mere seconds, but tonight, you can't bring yourself to sleep. Instead, you watch Rex, expression peaceful as he snores softly. He's been through so much lately you wonder when he'll finally get some downtime. 

If he'll ever get downtime. After this whole war is over, as insane as the thought is, what will happen? Where will he go? Do the clones go back to Kamino, or are they allowed to actually live their own lives? You hope that someday, somewhere, Rex will get the peace he deserves. Until then, you're content to lay in his arms and be there for him when he wakes. 


	6. Dance Partner

"Civ? Is that you?" The Senate had decided to throw a 'Thank You' party for the Auxilary Forces, and being the Senate, it was a big fancy gala held in some big fancy palace with fancy food and fancy people, and it threw you far from your comfort zone. Truth be told, you didn't recognize Fives either, dressed up in an actual suit instead of armour. "I didn't know you owned anything other than that jumpsuit." 

"Ha ha, very funny." He just grinned at you and held out a glass of some sparkling alcohol, which you gladly accepted. You needed something to help you make it through tonight. "What are you doing here?" 

"We're here to pay our respects to all those who have helped with the war effort." He tipped his glass towards you. "Or, in the 501st case, you." 

You place a hand over your heart with a smile. "I'm honoured, really." 

"Fives, did you make a friend-" You turn at the sound of Rex's voice, and watch his eyes widen almost comically. Yours probably did the same, seeing him in an actual suit. When the clones needed to, they dress well, and they could pull it off. You blush and glance down at your dress, something borrowed from another auxiliary member after you'd complained about not owning a formal dress. "You look...amazing." His eyes sweep up and down, and normally you'd feel insecure, but with Rex, the gaze make's your heart feel warm.

"You don't look half bad yourself." Fives just rolls his eyes with a laugh, turning to take another glass of champagne from a waiter. 

"I'll leave you two be, don't have too much fun now." Rex glares at him as he leaves but his expression softens considerably when he looks back at you. 

You both take another moment to stare before Rex extends his arm and you happily take it. "I'm glad you're here, I'm not sure I could do all this on my own," You mutter as you make your way through the crowd. Big events like these aren't your area of expertise. 

"I'm glad you're here as well." He doesn't elaborate and your heart skips a beat from the thought alone. Music starts up somewhere and you smile, trying to pull him towards the dancefloor. "Civ, no, I don't-" 

"Come on, one dance won't kill you." If this is your one chance to dance with him, you're taking it. 

"I don't know how to dance." You pause, looking up at him in confusion. "Clones don't exactly have time to learn to dance." 

You simply shake your head and pull him to the dance floor. You place his hands on your waist and he looks away, and you wonder how long it'll take until he becomes truly comfortable with you. You wrap your arms around his neck and he finally looks back over to you with a wary smile. "All you have to do is sway to the music. Easy as that." 

"You know, I'll probably get in trouble for this." His tone is light and you know the most trouble he'll get into is Fives teasing the hell out of him. 

"You can blame me for needing a dance partner." Rex laughed softly, finally swaying to the music. "See? Dancing is easy, you make it up as you go. If you're feeling really adventurous, you could even spin me around." 

"Wow, I don't think I'm ready for that level of skill yet." You share a grin and you take in Rex: His smile, his eyes, the fact he shaved his hair down again. How perfect he looks in this moment as the music swells around you. "What?" 

You just smile and shake your head. "Nothing. Just thinking about how my dance partner looks good in a suit." He blushes and ducks his head and the music comes to an end, as much as you don't want it to. There's a tapping of glass and you both turn to look at a Senator, pulling away from each other. 

He launches into some speech about bravery, and you slip your hand into Rex's. Here, in a giant crowd, no one will notice but you two, and he gently squeezes it. "These brave souls risk their lives day to day to help the Republic win battle after battle. Without them, the Grand Army of the Republic would not be the same." The speech is about the auxiliary forces, and it takes a moment to settle that they're commending you on your bravery, yet not to Rex or Kix or Fives, the actual fighters. "We thank you for your service, each and every one of you." A roar of applaud follows, and when Rex turns back to you, he's surprised to see the frown on your face. 

"Are you alright?" You nod, turning to find the closest balcony. 

"I'm fine, just need some air." You take his arm again and part through the crowd, stopping occasionally to smile and make small talk to others, and by the time you make it outside Rex hands you another glass of champagne. Leaning against the railing, you take in the stars, wondering which flicker of light is your home planet. 

"I can tell somethings up, Civ. Are you sure everything's okay?" What do you say? That your upset clones don't get recognition? That you're mad he doesn't see something wrong with that? 

You shrug and take another sip of champagne. "They thank us for our bravery and whatnot, but not once have I ever seen someone do that for the clones." 

"We're basically just droids to them. We don't expect any gratitude - after all, we were made for this war." He dismisses it! How could he? His life is so much more than a solider, but in reality, that's all he'll ever be to them. Just some captain to some battalion that won't matter in 100 years. You fall silent and stare out into the garden below you, a beautiful work of art but a total waste of space. Rex finishes his drink and finally breaks the silence. "Why'd you join the Auxilary Forces, Civ?" 

"Wanted to make the world a better place, I guess," It was one of those chances where you just dive in head first and hope for the best. It was the first time you could honestly say you were making a difference, even if it's small. "I thought it was the right thing to do." 

"That's why we fight." You turn to look at Rex and find him lost among the stars. "Not because we're programmed to, or born to, but because we know it's the right thing to do. I'm my own man, I make my own choices, and if the Senate doesn't see that, oh well. I know I'm making a difference." 

In a few sentences, you've found so much more respect for him and the circumstance he's given. He turns and finds you staring, but for once you both just smile and stare at each other without something to say. The music starts back up inside and you tap your fingers along to the beat, trying to find something to break the silence again. "What do you want to do once the war is over, Rex?" 

"I honestly don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead." You don't know what'll happen once the war is over - return home, or stay to help fight the next battle that comes along, or even if Rex is in your future. "Maybe I'll start a family." The slight tilt to his voice doesn't go unnoticed, and you take a moment to imagine a domestic world with Rex. The thought seems absurd, the battle-worn man just relaxing for once, even if it's what he deserves. There's a part of you that knows he'd be a good father. "Maybe I'll become a farmer." 

"Rex the farmer, has a nice ring to it. I don't know what I'll do either, I guess whatever comes along." Rex places his hand over yours and you try not to startle or ruin the moment. Neither of you would ever admit it to the other, but you'd become so much closer than you ever thought you could - when you couldn't sleep at night you pictured Rex in your arms, or when he'd leave for a mission without you he'd think of you when thing's got rough. If there's one good thing that came out of this war, it's Rex, and it's hard to think of a life where your paths didn't cross. 

"You want to know something? When we first met, I wanted nothing to do with you." And there goes that pleasant thought, huh? "I thought a civilian has no place on a battlefield and that they'd only get in our way. I fought against having you here, I'm glad the general didn't listen to me." 

You nudge his shoulder with yours. "The general never listens to you." 

"Very funny." You laugh and turn back to watching the stars as you drink. "Where would you be right now if this war wasn't going on?" That's a good question. Probably at home, working behind a desk all day, or maybe back at the mechanic's shop, or maybe you'd have given up on engineering entirely. 

"At home, doing whatever job I could find. Probably be lonely." You don't ask Rex the same question, knowing without this war he wouldn't exist. 

"What, you didn't have a roguishly handsome captain trailing you around all day?" You slip your hand from his to give him a shove and he laughs. You relish in the sound, finally given a break where you just relax and be in each others company without the threat of getting shot at or someone finding out. A new song starts and you pull Rex back onto the dancefloor and place a hand on his shoulder, your other taking his hand. "Hey, this is different from last time, Civ. I said I wasn't ready for this level of skill."

You shake your head as he smiles, and you pull his other hand to your waist. "Just move back and forth like this, okay?" 

"Okay, cyare." You sway for a moment before you rest your head on his shoulder, and you can faintly make out his heart hammering in his chest. 

"You alright Rex?" His arms tighten around you slightly and you don't have to look up to know he's blushing. 

"Just thinking about how my dance partner looks beautiful tonight." It's your turn to blush and you laugh softly; Maker, if the rest of your time spent with Rex was like this, just laughing and dancing and being in each others company, you'd be in heaven. 


	7. Buddy

You think that perhaps you're cursed, considering whenever you're out on a mission the weather seems to hate you. It reminds you of that first day Rex fell asleep beside you, with rain spraying down and mud making your boots stick to everything. The only difference is that this time Rex isn't around. 

You're near the back of the lines, helping move a speeder loaded with supplies for a colony in trouble and he's off galavanting with Jedi and you worry about that so much you don't hear the fire whistle of blasters sent your way. "CIV!" 

There's a hand on your jumpsuit and it pulls you to the side, the impact sending you down into the mud. Something explodes above you and your ears ring from how close it is, light debris raining down on you. You slowly pull yourself up and find a clone's arm sprawled under you, and for a moment of fear you think it's Rex, but instead, it's the shiny you'd been riding with. 

There's a blaster wound dead centre on his stomach and you almost gag from the amount of blood spilling out. The clone slowly turns his head to look at you and you press your hands over the wound, looking around for a medic and finding yourself abandoned. "W-Why'd you do that?" He's going to die because of you. He got shot protecting _you_ and there's nothing you can do to stop him from dying in your arms. 

He mutters something under his helmet and you quickly pull it off, taken aback by how he smiles up at you. "You're a civvie..." He sounds so much like Rex in this moment you want to cry. "I'm a clone." 

"Doesn't mean you have to die." You press harder on the wound and feel yourself start to break, tears flooding your eyes. 

"That's what clones are supposed to do," He whispers with a small laugh that turns into a cough. 

"No, no, you're supposed to live, come on-What's your name?" His expression falls from the calm it once was into a wince, and he turns his head to look at you, his eyes unfocused. "Come on buddy, what's your name?" 

He coughs again and you take a moment to glance down at your hands and they're covered in blood. There's no way losing this much blood can be good and you can tell he's fading. "Don't...Don't have one." 

"What-" He never even got a name? You squeeze your eyes shut, trying not to cry in front of him. He was just another soldier in the GAR, just another white armoured boy to die for nothing. Buddy. You'd called him buddy. "Well, Buddy, now you have one." 

"T-Thanks, Civ." His moves a hand over yours and pats it. You see fear spike over his features and he squeezes your hand. "C-Can you hold my hand?" 

"I need to keep pressure on your wound-" It's a useless effort anyway. There's nothing to stop him from dying here and now, in some stupid wasteland with nothing more to his name than some armour and memories. Is that all death is for them? Their job? How many men have died like this, without anyone around to help them? The thought send a chill down your spine and you're determined to make sure that isn't Buddy. "Okay." 

You hold his hand in his with a smile, and his head rolls to one side, staring out towards the horizon. "T-Thank you, Cyare." There's that word again. It makes more tears well up in your eyes as you imagine Rex in his place and you shouldn't - Buddy deserves more than to have you cry over someone else while he dies. "Hey, I'll be alright." 

Maker, he's comforting _you_ in this moment? "Yeah, everything's going to be okay." He doesn't respond as his grip falters in your hand. "Buddy?" He doesn't move and you shake his shoulders, trying anything to get him to wake. "Hey, you-you can't do this!" You smack his chest as more tears fall, sitting back on your heels with a sob. 

"CIV!" An arm wraps itself around your waist, pulling you away from Buddy and you reach out and smack at whoever it is, coming face to face with Rex. "Civ, we need to move, you'll get shot out here." 

"No!" You can't leave Buddy, not now. He needs a proper funeral or burial or something, not to decay out in some random field. "I'm not leaving him, he-" You struggle in Rex's grip as he hauls you away. "Rex, we can't leave him!" 

"We can, and we will." He snaps and you punch his chest, making him stumble. You take a step back towards the body and Rex grabs your arm, likely hard enough to bruise, and you shove at his chest again. "Civ, you are going to die out here if we don't go. He was willing to die for the Republic, I'm not letting you." 

You want to be mad, or upset or something but all you can do is sob into Rex's chest and it takes him by surprise, gently wrapping an arm around you and patting your head. You know he's trying his best, not used to others emotions, but right now it's not enough. There's another explosion and you're forced to walk away, wiping away more tears. It takes all your effort to leave Buddy behind, even when it shouldn't. You'd barely known him an hour, but he still deserved more than this. 

Your movements don't feel like they're your own - like you walking on autopilot. Rex says something and you don't even register it, too intent to stare at your hands as the blood dries. Maker, what you'd give to just wash it away, but the rain stopped at some point just to spite you. 

-

It's only on the transport back do you really snap out of it, seeing the battlefield scattered with white armour, and you couldn't point Buddy out if you tried. They're all gone, and that's that. Looking over at Rex, you wonder how many men he's lost that the scene no longer makes him look away. He catches your gaze and comes to sit beside you, nudging your knee with his. 

"I'm sorry you had to see that today." You have a million questions to ask at once but nothing seems to come out, just empty thoughts as you stare at the floor. Rex is called away to do something and you want nothing more than to reach out and force him to stay, but you can't. Not around generals and not around brothers, so you're forced to remain staring at the floor and trying not to cry when the memories come back up. 

When you land back on the Resolute, Rex glues himself to your side as you walk back to your barracks, and you can only send him a confused look, words failing you today. 

"You shouldn't be alone after that." He says quietly, a hand moving to the small of your back. "I know what're you're going through." Rex has lost so many men, so many friends, it's no wonder his dreams plague him. You wonder if that'll become you one day; Too afraid to close your eyes or see another dead friend in the mud again. Entering your barracks seems so empty and dark, even when Rex flips the light switch. "Now, let's get you cleaned up." 

He leads you to the refresher and you stare at the shower, suddenly hit with how tired you are. You couldn't bring yourself to shower if you wanted to, and Rex gently places a hand on your shoulder. "You're in shock, Civ. Is that the first time you ever..." Ever watched someone die? Held them in your arms and tried to make it all stop? You nod and Rex gently picks you up and sets you on the edge of the counter, and for once you're taller than him. "I'm really sorry you had to see that today, cyare. I need to get the blood off you, can I..." Rex blushes and you realize he wants you to take your jumpsuit off. You fumble with the zipper and pull it down, and Rex adverts his eyes until he realizes you're wearing a tank top underneath and he helps you with the sleeves. "How are you feeling?" 

"Bad. Sick. Weak." There are so many more words you could add but can't and Rex hums, wetting a washcloth and scrubbing at your hands. He pauses as he wipes over the bruise he left and you see his face shatter, and you wish you could tell him that it's alright, like Buddy did. He never meant to hurt you in the first place.

"Yeah, that's how you'll feel for a bit. I wish I could say you get used to it." His expression says it all and just like that day he came to you, breaking down from a dream, you understand that the war wears on everyone. It's an equally nice and terrible feeling, knowing someone feels your pain and knowing someone's had to feel your pain before. Back when you couldn't help him, back when he was alone. "I'm sure you did all you could, cyare." 

"I gave him a name." He seems surprised to hear you talk, and he looks up in confusion. "Rex, h-he didn't even have a name. And he died because of me." 

Rex rubs his thumb over your hand soothingly. "What'd you name him?" 

"Buddy." He smiles at that, but you feel yourself breaking apart inside. "He said that dying is all clones did. H-He didn't need to d-die, Rex." 

"I know he didn't, but that's how life works. We understand that at some point we're going to die for the Republic, and we're okay with that." You want to slap him or tell him to shut up, because he's just as every bit human as you. Clone or not, his life is worth more than that. 

"But you shouldn't be." A tear slips out and Rex wipes it away, gently cradling your cheek. "You better keep that promise, Rex, I don't know what I'd do if you...if you..." 

You start to cry again and Rex pulls you into his arms, gently rocking you back and forth. You press a hand over your mouth to stop the sobs but it doesn't work and Rex presses a kiss to the top of your head and whispers something in Mando'a. If in any other situation, you'd relish in the fact that he kissed you, but right now the most you can do is try to calm yourself down. "You're alright, I'm right here, you're okay." 

You lean back and wipe at your eyes with a sigh. You press the palm of your hands to your eyes, trying not to feel embarrassed that you just cried like a baby. "I'm sorry, I just-" 

"You have nothing to apologize for, cyare. You've been through a lot today, now let's get you cleaned up and off to bed." He goes back to cleaning your arms and the word 'cyare' repeats in your head over and over. Buddy had said it too, when he thanked you. 

"Can I ask you a question?" You sniff and Rex glances up with a smile. "What does cyare mean?"

Rex pauses, mouth open, and you can see the gears turning in his brain. "Well, it's Mando'a. And it's an...affectionate term." That doesn't answer the question, now does it? 

"Why do you say it?" Rex blushes and you smile softly at him. "Come on, what does it mean?" 

"It's a word a husband would say to his wife. It means love." You can't help the small smile that breaks out across your face. Love. Rex says he loves you. And you never knew. 

"Cyare." Rex rolls his eyes with a laugh and you can tell you're not pronouncing it correctly. "Can I call you cyare?" That seems to shock him, and he takes a moment to blink in confusion. 

"If...If you want to?" You nod and Rex tosses the washcloth into the sink, finally done, and you slip from the sink to wrap you arms around his waist in a hug. It still takes him a moment to wrap his arms around you, hand gently rubbing your back. All you want is to lay in bed with Rex and forget today ever happened. "Come on, lets get you to bed." 

"Okay," You look up at him with a small smile. "Cyare." 

Rex goes red and has to look away, and for a moment, today disappears and all that's left is you and him. If you could you'd stay like this forever, with your cyare, a word you're going to use forever. "Come on, bedtime," He glances down with a flicker of a smile. "Cyare." 

Laying in bed beside him, you feel sleep want to take you, but at the same time, there's a fear that if you close your eyes you'll end up back on that battlefield with Buddy. Rex pulls you closer to him, closer than he's ever held you, and like always he presses his forehead to yours. His gaze finds yours, and he tucks some hair behind your ear. "I'll be right here, Civ, now get some sleep. You need it." 

You fall asleep easy enough but Rex remains awake, his arms tight around you. He remembers seeing the blood from a distance and running, no one bothering to stop him. He remembers seeing that clone dead with you above him and being relieved, despite how dark the thought is, that you hadn't died. You'd been crying, then, and been so upset to leave the body he'd felt terrible having to drag you away. 

Kix had to tell him about dealing with shock, and you looked so afraid, so tired, so small. He made another promise to himself, then and there, that he'd never let you get in harm's way again. The Jedi have a code against attachment, as absurd as the thought is, and Rex understands why now. He'd tear apart the galaxy to have you safe in his arms again. 


	8. I Love You, You Know That?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my longest chapter yet!! Enjoy

"Hey Civ, you on your way to see Rex?" You'd been granted leave for a week, a luxury in this time of war, and intended to spend every moment relaxing and not worrying about battles or broken speeders. The only problem with that meant not seeing Rex for a week, which shouldn't have upset you as much as it did. He was scheduled for some mission or another, and you were counting down the hours until your departure. 

It's a week apart, and you've both had worse things to deal with. It's just that after relying on each other for so long it seems strange to be apart. You might as well find him before you go and explain, before Rex freaks out that you'd disappeared. Ever since the whole 'Buddy' incident, he's become so much more protective. If he doesn't spend the night in your room, he'll make a point to stop by. "Yes, if I could find him." 

Fives just laughs and holds out a datapad. "He's in the workout rooms, can you bring him this? It's news about the rebels." 

"Sure thing," Up to this moment, you didn't even know there were workout rooms beside the Jedi's training rooms. "Where's the workout rooms?" 

"Down the hall and to the left. Seeing as you and Rex are so...close," You send him a glare and he smiles back. "I would've assumed you'd know where the room is." Sure, Rex worked out but it wasn't an everyday occurrence. Fives sees the confusion and laughs, waving his hand. "You'll see what I mean." 

Down the hall, and to the left. Got it. "Thanks, Fives." 

"No problem, Civ." Well, considering the door is labelled "Workout Room", you feel somewhat stupid, but nevertheless you step inside and instantly know why Fives made that comment. 

Because Rex is doing push-ups, shirtless. If you thought he was nice to look at before, watching his muscles move as he went up and down at an insane speed was something else. He wasn't even listening to music or anything, lost in his own little world, and you leaned against the wall to watch him finish his set. If you'd have known this is what you could've been watching, well, you wouldn't have left the room often. 

Rex finishes and wipes his face on a towel, sweat dripping off him. His eyes find you and he jumps, dropping his towel with a laugh. "How long have you been there?" 

"Oh, long enough." You walk over and hold out the datapad, and he accepts it with a bit of confusion. "Fives wanted me to give you this." 

"Ah, thank you." He scans over it before looking up with a smirk. "Enjoy the show?"

You blush and he laughs again, getting to his feet. "I don't know why I put up with you sometimes." 

"I think you know why." Well, it is a bit of an added bonus that Rex is ripped, to say the least. "I'm assuming you didn't come here just because Fives didn't want to?" 

"Oh, yeah. I'm leaving." Rex's eyes widen and he does a double-take up from his datapad. "I mean, I'm on leave for the next week," It hurts the way his face falls at that, but he quickly catches himself. "I wanted to come to say goodbye before I go." 

"You're leaving? Now?" Well, in roughly an hour, but pretty much. 

You watch him scrub over his face with his towel as if trying to make sure you're actually here and not an illusion. "In a bit, but I knew you were going off on a mission, I just wanted to make sure I saw you before I left." 

"I head out this evening." You both are unsure of what to say, and Rex scratches the back of his neck. "I'll, um miss you. When do you get back?" 

"Seven days, you?" 

"Who knows. It's training rebels, so it could take a day, it could take a week. Where are you going?" The Auxilary Forces have specifics days off you have to meet, so they've put you up in some hotel by the Jedi temple for the week. Sit back, relax, do some shopping, catch up with friends if you had any. 

You check the time on the wall with a sigh, only forty minutes left before departure. "This hotel, down by the Jedi Temple. If you're planetside for some reason, you're more than welcome to stop by." You both share a shy smile, still not used to admitting things aloud. At this point, most people assume you're dating, but neither of you have found the courage to make the first move yet.

"I'd like that." You smile at each other and don't know what else to say, goodbyes are always a hard thing to walk away from in your line of work. "Well, I hope you have fun on your break." 

"Thanks, it won't be anything too crazy. Good luck with your rebels, too." He rolls his eyes, and you know he'd much rather be fighting or doing something more important than training rebels. 

"I'll need it, I don't have a good feeling about this week." That either means he's going to be angry or get hurt, and you pray the latter doesn't occur. The door slides open and some clone calls out to Rex that there's a briefing he needs to be at in ten minutes. "I'm sorry, Civ, I've got to go. Stay safe, alright?" 

"I'll try, and you better keep your promise." He smiles and leans in, and for a moment, you think that this is it. He'll finally kiss you, or something, but instead he freezes and opens his mouth to say something, closes it, and pulls back again. 

He won't know it, but he shattered your heart then and there. "I'll try my best too - I'll see you later, Civ." 

"See you later, Rex." You watch him leave, still glued to the spot on the gym floor. God, why couldn't he have just leaned in? Why didn't you? You want to punch yourself for not doing something, but maybe this is just how it's going to be. You and Rex dancing around each other, too afraid to say anything, until one of you snaps or dies. 

-

Day one of relaxing was nice. Day two was a bit boring. Day three was killing you, sitting around and doing nothing. You'd wandered the streets, gone to a couple of shops and out for lunch, but nothing was entertaining you anymore. You almost wanted to be back on base, at least then you'd be doing something instead of flipping through channels all day. 

If Rex were here, you could be talking or maybe you'd put on a song to dance to, or you'd take him out for a walk and joke the whole afternoon. That's all you've been thinking about while you're here, those 'what if's', if Rex was beside you this entire time. Maybe you'll resort to comming Fives and seeing if he's free to go out drinking, which is a horrible idea but it's better than nothing. 

There's a knock at the door that pulls you from your pity party, and you sit up. "Room service." The voice sounds strange and you're cautious as you slip from your bed and open the door.

"Surprise." Rex. Standing at your door. Holding flowers. You could faint, honestly, not expecting this in the least. 

"Rex, what're you doing here?" He held out the flowers with a small smile and you gladly accepted them, letting him step into your hotel room. 

"We came back early, and I'm free for the night. So I thought I'd take you up on your offer, but if you have other plans or something, I-" You sit down on your bed with a grin, holding the flowers tight to your chest. 

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you," Rex relaxed instantly, sitting beside you on the edge of the bed with a sigh. "I've been driving myself crazy, there's nothing to do." 

He rolls his eyes and falls back onto the bed. "I wish I was in your shoes, I've been training over-glorified kids all week." 

"At least you see some action, most I've seen all week is an old lady threaten a street vendor." Rex snorts out a laugh, and you lay down beside him. "You should've seen her, she was terrifying." 

"I'm sure she was." You and Rex stare at each other and what happened in the gym springs to the forefront of your mind, of Rex leaning in and stopping. Tonight was the night you were going to work up the courage to ask him or kiss him, or something. Something needed to happen before you pulled your hair out with how insane you were going. "I was wondering, if you're not busy if I could take you out to dinner." Your brain short-circuits and you stare at Rex, who takes silence for a no. "I-I mean, only if-I thought you might-" 

"Dinner sounds lovely." Rex does a double-take and relaxes back into the mattress with a sigh. "I know the best take out place, Fives recommended it to me." 

Rex raises an eyebrow at you, and for good reason. Anything Fives recommends is either life-threatening or something amazing, and you're aiming for the latter. "Are you sure about that?" 

"Positive, now let's go have an adventure." You get up and find Rex still laying there, arms behind his head. "Come on, Rex." 

"You're not the one who just spent the last few days training people, I need some rest, okay." You hold out your hand and he takes it, and instead of using ti to pull himself up he pulls you back onto the bed with a laugh. "Just five more minutes?" 

"You're lucky you're cute, or I-" A soft snore breaks you from your sentence, and you expected Rex to pretend to be asleep, but instead, he's passed out beside you and you can only smile, knowing he definitely deserves some rest after the rough couple of weeks he's had. You slip from the bed and close the curtains, and you see Rex pat around for you beside him. 

You lay back beside him and when his hand finds your waist he pulls you into his side with a sigh. "Thank you, cyare." 

"Get some rest, okay?" Rex is passed out again in an instant, and dinner can wait for another hour, or two, or however long Rex decides to nap for. Your eyes slip close, like Rex, and promise yourself you'll only sleep for a bit.

With Rex by your side, you know that's a lie.

"Kriff, what time is it?" Rex's voice startles you from your nap, and you check the clock on the bedside table. It's been three and a half hours, and the sun's set a long time ago. "I'm sorry Civ, I was just going to nap for a minute or two." 

"Don't worry about it, I didn't want a cranky captain with me anyway." He gives you a shove and gets up with a yawn. 

"Still, it's late now, and I remember something about dinner." Your stomach growls and you get up with him, checking your hair in the mirror with a laugh. It might've only been a couple of hours, but you still have definite bed-head. "You look like you've been dragged through a bush." 

You turn to glare at Rex and he just grins at you, and it's hard to stay mad at him. "Gee thanks." 

"You look fine, now come on, dinner awaits." You barely have your shoes on as Rex drags your out the door, despite not knowing where you're going. 

\- 

You swear, one day, you're going to strangle Fives for the things he does; Usually, it's messing around with things that shouldn't be messed with, or eating some gross food combination in the mess hall. Today's is recommending some hole-in-the-wall bar that Rex took one look at and steered you the other way. "See, never listen to Fives. Ever." 

"Noted." Rex occasionally salutes or nods as he passes another clone, and it's almost odd to just be out in public with him like it's normal. He slips his hand into yours as you walk around, trying to find another place safe to eat at. 

"At this point, anything's better than a ration bar." You laugh, remembering the chalky ration sticks the clones yet. Maker, you don't know how he can stand to eat those sometimes. "You ever had deep friend Nuna?" 

"No, I can't say I have." Rex pulls you off to the side and towards a street vendor with a smile. 

"Basically it's just Nuna, covered in batter and fried - It's absolute junk food, but it's delicious." Rex orders and pays, and you wonder where he got the credits - It's not like clones were paid, and you feel bad about making him pay. But Rex is a proper gentleman and does it anyway, and brings you flowers, and watching him smile and make small talk with the vendor brings a new word to the front of your mind. 

Love. 

Cyare. 

Before, sure, you'd liked Rex and loved the time spent with him, but was that love? Was love the pain you felt every time he left for a mission? His arms around you at night? The way he'd smile at you across a battlefield when he knew you were okay? You loved Rex, and despite it being a stupid revelation, it still took you by surprise. 

You loved Rex. 

He handed you a small box and noticed your stare, confused by your expression, so you just smiled and skipped past him. "This better be worth the hype, Rex." 

"Trust me, it will be." You open your box and steam hits you in the face, and it smells delicious. Rex leads you towards a park as you take your first bite, and it's good but definitely junk food. "So? First thoughts?" 

"It's really good." Rex takes a seat on a bench and you follow, finding yourself alone at this time of night. 

"Told you so. We tried some back on Corellia, it was amazing. Then again, it was the first proper food we had after weeks of ration bars." You and Rex eat in silence and you take in the scenery. Coruscant had this way of being far too industrial sometimes, with its layers and ships and towering buildings. It's parks like these, scattered throughout, that brought out the true beauty of the planet. Looking up, if it were less light-polluted you might make out more stars, but the clouds also aren't helping that fact. 

Clouds. You hadn't noticed it become so overcast while out walking, but it looks like rain. As soon as the thought enters your brain, it starts to sprinkle, and with a crack of thunder, it easily turns into pouring rain. You definitely were cursed, seeing as rain followed you everywhere. 

"Kriff, that came out of nowhere." Rex quickly gets up, pulling you with him. "There's no way we're getting back without getting soaked," 

"In that case," You hop in a puddle and splash Rex and he just laughs, pulling you away. "Come on, Rex. Play in the rain with me." 

He stops and watches you spin in the rain with a smile, and he extends his hand to twirl you around. You smile up at him with a giggle, and he pulls you close as more rain pours down. "You're crazy, Civ." 

"When's the next time we're going to get to play in the rain, Rex? Never, that's when." As you walk back up the path you hop in another puddle and Rex has to pull you away from it. A childish idea comes to mind, and you slip from his grip to pat him on the shoulder. "You're it!" 

"Civ, come on, you're going to catch a cold." You still run away from him, standing on the grass now. 

"I'll go back to the hotel room if you can catch me." Well, that's a bad idea, because Rex is sprinting at you and all you can do is laugh and try to run away, but his arms encircle your waist and pull you to a stop, and he pulls you against his chest with a huff. 

"I love you, you know that?" The words leave his mouth and make you freeze, staring up at him in the pouring rain. Even he seems surprised to have said it aloud. For a moment, everything leaves around you, and it's just you and Rex alone in the universe. It's a movie moment, some magical, and it's your chance to finally do something about it. You wrap your arms around his neck and lean in and Rex easily meets you halfway, his lips crashing onto yours.

So this is love. This is what all those stories and shared smiles are about, just to be in his arms and held, to kiss in the rain and make it feel like you're easily the luckiest girl in the world. When you do finally pull away, it's for air, and Rex's smile seems ten times brighter. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." 

Rex presses his forehead to yours with a smile. "Oh, I think I do." 

"Can we...Can we do that again?" Rex's arms tighten around you with a laugh. 

"You don't have to ask." This time, it's much softer and sweeter. It's the kiss you needed when you were laying beside him, or helping him through a nightmare. It's the kiss where the girl finally gets the guy and the world is right again. It's the kiss that makes you forget you're out in the pouring rain and will definitely catch a cold from it. You slowly pull away, and Rex spins you around with a laugh. "Now, I've caught you, let's head back, okay?" 

"Fine. Only because you caught me." Despite the rain, you take your time walking back to the hotel, hand in Rex's, just making idle conversation. You weren't paying attention to what he was saying, too caught up playing the last ten minutes over and over in your head. You kissed Rex. And he said he loved you. That same warm, fuzzy feeling settled in your heart and you didn't stop smiling the whole walk back.

When you do make it back, you leave puddles in the hallway carpet and try not to feel bad about who has to clean that up tomorrow. 

Rex tugs off his armour, and you turn your back to give him some privacy and change into your own pyjamas. "Can I turn around now?" Rex asks hesitantly, and you turn to see him deliberately staring ahead into the wall, trying to be polite and not accidentally see you changing. You jump onto the bed and Rex turns his head with a laugh and you pull him down to lay beside you.

If there's one perk to having leave, it's that the beds in the hotels are meant for comfort. You're tucked against Rex's chest, like always, and you gently trace the scars that run down his arms. There's something so much more comforting about laying with him now, in a proper bed, able to waste time together. "Most of those are blaster wounds," 

"For a captain, you'd think you'd get hurt less." Or at least he'd try to get hurt less, but Rex is the type of man to throw himself into battle to save everyone around him. 

"Well, it's kind of hard to fight and not get scars." You nod and raise your hand between you, looking at the small sliver of a scar on your knuckle you got from cutting your hand open on glass - It's the only scar you have from the war so far, and it seems so stupid and insignificant compared to Rex. "Is that from the time you stuck your hand into a pile of glass?" 

"Yes," Rex just laughs and takes your hand in his, pressing a kiss your where the scar is. You blush and Rex links his fingers with yours, and you wonder how long this can last. How long you get to lie beside him without anyone knowing, before something bad happens, before you can't anymore. 

"You're thinking too loud," Rex mutters as he pulls you closer. "Now come sleep, I have to leave early in the morning." 

You smile and nestle further under the covers, and take the moment to relish in the fact that you're here with Rex now, and that's all you'll ever need. 


	9. Young, Impressionable Captain

Lunch in the mess hall is always something interesting, to say the least. There's either a new strange food, or someone starts an arm wrestle betting ring, or in the rare case a food fight. Today, it was just soup, but the interesting part was that considering you normally ate lunch alone that someone sought you out to sit next to you. "Hey, Civ, this seat open?" You don't answer Fives before he sits on one side you, and Jesse on the other. 

"Sure, what's up?" Fives just smiles at you and links his hands together, mischief radiating off of him. 

"You and our captain have been spending an awful lot of time together, and you know, he's been really happy lately. Especially since he went out to dinner with you. He hasn't drank caf in the morning for three days, and that usually means his sick." Rex is not a morning person. At all. But you still don't know exactly where Fives is going with this. "So, either Rex has suddenly just become a very happy individual, or you two are becoming very, very close." 

"Fives, I-" He waves a hand with a sigh. 

"I'm not going to report you or anything, calm down. I'm here to invite you out to drinks tonight." Well, that took a turn. You were expecting him to either tease you about dating him or warn you about insubordination or whatever it's called. "As a way to get to know you better. After all, Rex only deserves the best. He's a very young, impressionable captain," Jesse snorts out a laugh at that. "And I wouldn't want him caught up in the wrong crowd, now would I?" 

You sigh and lean back, taking a good look at him. "I can't say not to drinks, can I?" 

"Nope, I'll swing by to pick you up this evening. You, uh, also can't tell Rex about this." Well, that much is obvious, he'd crush Fives skull in. 

"Fine, fine. But you're paying." He grins and gets up, Jesse following. 

"That's a deal! See you tonight, Civ." Maker, what did you get yourself into?

\- 

You knew about 79's, the Clone Bar, but you'd never actually been. You're glad Fives is wearing his armour (and has a tattoo) or you might not be able to recognize him as you make your way through the crowd and up to the bar counter. Kix and Jesse already wait there, drinking something blue. Typical. "I can't believe you're using tonight to interrogate me," 

"It was Fives idea," Kix mutters as he slams his drink. "I just came along for a free round." 

"I'm glad to hear you care." You sit on the barstool and glance around, studying all the different armour designs. "This place is packed." 

"Clones aren't really supposed to go to other places, which is a shame. But we get half-off drinks, so it's not all bad." Fives flags down the bartender and orders another round of the blue drink. You hadn't known that, that clones weren't allowed into other bars. What a stupid rule. "Now, Civvie, let's get to business. What do you want with our captain?" 

"Um, to date him?" Fives eyes squint to stare at you. "Can i ask why you are so worried about Rex?" It's not like you could hurt him in the slightest. Maybe emotionally, but physically? Rex could break your spine in a heartbeat. 

It's Jesse who answers this time, leaning over with a smirk. "We just want to make sure you're up to our standards." 

"By standards, they both mean you can hold your alcohol well." Fives hands you a shot and you take it, wincing as it burns going down and Kix shakes his head. "I'm here to make sure none of you do anything stupid-" Fives cuts him off again.

"So, you and Rex are a thing. Are you official yet?" You shrug, unsure of what exactly official means. 

"I kissed him?" Fives bursts out into laughter, leaning back far enough in his stool you're worried he'll tip over. 

"Atta boy Rex, finally had his first kiss." You were Rex's first kiss? It shouldn't be surprising, considering the clones don't exactly have a lot of downtime, but you'd still assumed...Well. For a first kiss, Rex wasn't too bad. "I guess we'll have to put locks on the supply closets now, won't we?" 

You reach over and smack Fives shoulder with a gasp. "I have more self-restraint than that, Fives!" 

"Yes, but does Rex?" A very fair point that makes you blush and take another shot to avoid answering the question. "You know, Rex was always a stickler for the rules until we caught him sneaking out at night - At that point we just let him, poor guy needs a break. He was sneaking out to your room, wasn't he?" 

"Well, yes," Jesse laughs and smacks a hand down on your shoulder. "But not like that! We never, you know," 

"Considering you're too afraid to say the word, and that Rex is too much of a gentleman, I believe you." You start to feel the alcohol take effect and you giggle, pressing a hand to your mouth. 

Jesse laughs with you, folding his arms. "And she's already drunk, good job, Fives." 

"I mean, she's like a mechanic, I thought she would've held her alcohol better, honestly." He does two shots in a row, and Kix just groans and slaps a hand to his forehead. "What, Kix? Can't we have some fun?" 

"Rex is going to kill us if he ever finds out." Fives waves a hand with a laugh. 

"Rex'll never find out." A hand wraps itself around the back of your stool and a person leans in between you and Fives with a scoff. 

"Rex'll never find out what?" You turn to look at Rex, and he looks angry, to say the least. Whenever he does he gets this line in between his eyebrows and you're tempted to reach out and smooth the line if you weren't also a bit afraid of Rex when he got angry. 

Fives spit out his drink with a gasp. "Rex! What the hell are you doing here?" 

"I should be asking you the same thing, Fives." He taps his fingers against the back of your chair. "Cody invited me out for a drink, believe it or not. So, what are you doing here with Civ?" 

"They were taking me out for a drink," You add, leaning back to look up at him. "They're very protective of you, you should know." 

"What?" His anger morphs into confusion. 

"They wanted to know what my intentions were with you. Like a dad would." Rex glares at Fives who raises his hands in defence. "What's wrong?" 

Rex pulls your stool back away from the bar. "I don't like the thought of my brothers getting you drunk so you'll tell them secrets." 

"Was that this was?" You look back at Fives who shakes his head. 

"No, I just wanted to get to know your girlfriend better, Rex! Is that a crime?" Girlfriend. Girlfriend? Are you Rex's girlfriend? I mean, you did kiss him, but still. That's new. 

"She's not my-Fives, I swear, you ever do this again I will kill you. Come on Civ, we're leaving." You wave goodbye to the boys as Rex places his hand on your waist and forces you through the crowd. "Why didn't you tell me?" 

You shrug and remember Fives asking you not to. "You would've killed Fives, and I can't let that happen." 

"Maybe not kill, but definitely give him a black eye." He steers you towards the door and you look up at him in confusion. 

"Hey, you were going for drinks with Cody! You can't just leave him." Rex stops with a sigh and looks back towards a booth. 

"Fine, but don't...Don't say anything weird?" You giggle and slip your hand into his. 

"No promises, Rexie." Rexie. That's a new nickname, isn't it? Rex laughs at it and pulls you towards a booth and you spot a clone in yellow armour, Commander Cody, looking very confused. 

Rex gestures between you and him. "Cody, this is Civ, the 501st Aux. Engineer. Civ, Commander Cody of the 212th." 

"Ah, so this is Civ." Cody grins up at Rex who blushes under the scrutiny. "I've heard a lot about you. What was all that about?" 

"Fives decided it would be nice to take Civ out for some drinks. She's a bit of a lightweight." You smack his shoulder and he rolls his eyes. "I'm going to take her back to base, I don't trust her out here alone." 

"Ah, alright. We can catch up another time, then. It was nice meeting you, Civ." You beam at Cody and Rex shakes his head, pulling you back towards the door. 

"Do you talk to Cody about me?" Rex tenses as you leave the bar, the night air chill compared to the tightly-packed bar. 

He doesn't answer for a moment, before turning to look at you. "How drunk are you?" 

"A couple shots worth, why?" He flags down a speeder and you wait at the side of the road. 

"Trying to figure out if you'll remember this tomorrow morning. But yes, I do talk to Cody about you." You squeal quietly and tug at Rex's hand, who just laughs at your response. 

"What do you say?" The speeder finally pulls up and Rex gives him directions back towards base. You lean into Rex's side, warm compared to the cool air, and you want to kiss him again. "Come on, what do you say about me?" 

Rex brushes some hair away from your face. "The basics. You're pretty, you help me sleep, whatever." 

"You think I'm pretty?" Rex nods and turns to look out the window to hide the blush spreading across his cheeks. "Well, I think you're pretty too. Or handsome. Or whatever you want to be called." 

"Thanks, cyare." You lean up and press a kiss to his cheek and it takes him by surprise, quickly turning to look back at you in confusion. 

"What, can't I kiss you?" After that first kiss in the park, you'd only kissed him a couple of other times - each and every time you do it surprises him, like he doesn't expect you to actually like him enough to kiss him. 

"No, you, uh, you can. I'm just still in a bit of shock you actually like me." He admits it! How sweet, you're Rex's first-ever romantic person. Partner? Girlfriend? Whatever it is, it's definitely taking Rex for a loop. 

You lace your fingers with Rex's, staring up at him. "Why?" 

"I just didn't expect someone to be willing to like a clone. My face is every other clone's face, after all." You huff and reach up to poke his cheek. 

"You have a scar on your chin, and your hair is different. You might have like, a million twins, but you're still Rex." He brings your hand up and kisses your knuckles again.

"You're very sweet when you're drunk." You just giggle and turn to look out the window, watching the buildings fly by. "What'd you tell Fives about me?" 

"We kissed. Um, that you came to visit my room a lot. We didn't talk about a whole lot, really." It's the truth, you expected them to badger you into telling them everything, but really, it was more confirming their own suspicions than anything. 

You turn to look back at Rex, who looks down with a frown. "What'd Fives tell you about me?" 

"You're a stickler for the rules and I was your first kiss!" Rex presses a hand to his face as you giggle. "You know, for a first kiss, you weren't bad." 

"Well, at least I wasn't terrible." The speeder stops and Rex pays, and you struggle to walk in a straight line beside Rex to the barracks. "Maker, how much did you have to drink?" 

"Um. A couple shots?" Rex loops an arm around your waist and steers you down a hallway. 

"Shots of what?" You shrug and Rex lets out a long sigh. "You can barely walk." 

A thought comes to your head and you giggle. "Can you give me a ride, then?" 

"What?" Rex looks like he's been shot, or at least scandalized. 

"Piggyback ride, get your head out of the gutter, Rex." You dissolve into laughter again and Rex just shakes his head, stopping and leaning forward so you can jump onto his back. 

"I hope you know this is a one time deal, next time you're drunk, I'm letting you walk." You press your forehead to Rex's shoulder and try to hide your laughter. If you were looking at Rex, you would've seen him start to smile, wondering where he managed to find a girl like you that would actually tolerate him. "I mean it, Civ." 

Sleep tugs at the back of your brain and you yawn. "Whatever, next time I'm..." After a moment of silence, Rex peers over his shoulder at you and finds you passed out, and he finds you passed out against his shoulder. It takes him back to the girl who fell asleep in his lap fixing that droid, and he can't help but smile. He carries you all the way back to your room, despite the confusing looks he gets from his brothers as he passes. 

For once he doesn't try to hide or go the back way, almost wanting people to know about you and him - That he, a clone, could still fall in love with a beautiful girl. He doesn't have the heart to wake you when you get back to your room, so he just lays you down and cradles your head in his lap, carding his fingers through your hair as you sleep. 

He's pretended to be asleep, in this exact position with you before. Sometimes he pretends he's asleep just to feel you close to him, or have you trace his scars, or press a kiss to his forehead. There's something so domestic about it, watching over you while you sleep that he can't help but imagine a life outside of the war. 

Maker, what he'd give just to have you by his side forever. A house, on some quaint planet, a simple life. It's hard to picture, considering he doesn't see an end soon to this war, but it's still nice to dream. He hopes you don't remember what he said about Cody - truth be told, Rex tells him everything, Cody becoming his confidante about these issues - he went to Cody for advice when he started to feel this weird warm feeling in his heart, and when you'd quelled his nightmares. He knows he shouldn't tell others, considering dating you could get him into serious trouble, but his thoughts about you he couldn't keep to himself, not when they were the first thing that ever made him feel more like a man then a clone. 

You shift in your sleep and he gently moves your head from his lap, as much as it pains him. He can't stay tonight, no, so instead, he presses a kiss to your forehead and wishes you goodnight. 


	10. Flowers

Rex had checked your room, the hangar bay, the mess hall, hell, he even checked the bridge for you and found nothing. By then, he started getting a weird feeling in his chest that something was wrong. So, he did what any good captain did. He berated his team. "Fives, have you seen Civ?" 

"Not since this morning, why?" That doesn't help either! Where could you have gone to? 

"I can't find her." Tup slowly looks up from his blaster, giving Rex a strange look. "What, Tup?" 

"Civ was admitted into sickbay this morning." The words alone force him to sit down. How hadn't he known? Why didn't he check the sickbay? Why didn't someone tell him? 

"What happened?" Maybe you just got a stomach bug or something. Maybe you tripped and sprained an ankle, that seems like something you could do. 

Fives and Tup exchange a glance before Tup sighs and sets down his blaster to fully turn his attention to Rex. "There was that explosion, this morning, in the hangar bay. An engine blew up." Rex doesn't want to put two and two together. "She was admitted to hangar bay shortly after." 

"And nobody told me?!" Fives raises his hands in defence. 

"Hey, we told you about the explosion!" Rex reaches up and grabs Fives by the collar of his blacks. 

"And when I asked 'Any casualties' you said 'oh, no deaths, someone got hurt though,' why didn't you think to mention it was Civ?" Fives rips himself out of Rex's grip, knowing his captain is just worried about you. 

There are a million things going through Rex's brain right now. That he didn't go check on you, that he hadn't cared about the explosion, that you could very well be dying. "We thought you already knew." 

"Osik, that is." Fives said something else to him but he was already on his way to the sickbay. Why wouldn't Kix have told him? It'd been hours and he'd been oblivious to what happened to you. Maybe he should get more flowers, you seemed to like those last time. Where would he get flowers now, though? It wasn't like they could make a pitstop to pick some up. 

"I was wondering when you'd show up." He's not even fully through the sickbay door when Kix blocks him from entering further. "Now, before you see-" 

"I don't care, let me see her." Kix placed a hand against his chest with a frown. "Kix, you better tell me what's going on." 

Kix lets out a long sigh and every bad outcome comes to his mind. Dead. Mutilated. Dying. "She's fine, Rex, but she's resting. Getting knocked across the hangar like that," The image of that makes him want to cry. "She just needs some sleep, but other than that, she's perfectly fine." 

"Then let me see her." Kix finally moves to the side and Rex makes his way down the aisle before he spots you and his heart shatters. You're paler then he remembers, a bruise spreading just under your eye, and there's a couple IV's hooked up to you. It's not like before when he'd watch you sleep. Everything seems so wrong in comparison, from how still you lay on your back to the lack of expression on your face. "You said she was fine." 

"She is. Just a bit beat up, but nothing life-threatening." Rex feels afraid to approach your bed like he'd be disturbing your peace. He ends up standing over you, and he knows Kix is probably laughing at him for being so gentle with you. He watches you for a moment before Kix joins his side, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "You really like her, don't you?" 

It's not teasing, like everyone else would say, but just an understanding. It's Kix, out of everyone, who would likely understand the most, but that's also because he's had bedside manner drilled into him. "Yeah, I do." 

"She's a good one, Rex. Was so worried that someone else got hurt she didn't come to sickbay right away. Reminds me of a stubborn captain I know." Rex shoots him a friendly glare and Kix just smiles back at him. "You can stay as long as you like, but remember you have more duties than being a good boyfriend." For once, Rex doesn't fight the word, and sits in the small chair beside your bed. 

"I'll only stay for a bit, Kix, don't worry about it." He slips his hand into yours and runs his thumb over a scar. He doesn't know how long he sits there, just holding your hand, before the sickbay door slides open and Fives enters. He comes to stand at the foot of your bed with a smile, having caught Rex in a vulnerable, but cute, moment. 

"How's she holding up?" Rex glances back over to you and watches your chest rise and fall in rhythm to the beeping of a monitor somewhere. 

"She's doing good, just got the wind knocked out of her." He doesn't know when you should wake up - Has it been too long? Or will you wake tomorrow? He's so worried over the little things he doesn't notice Kix join them. "I get the whole Jedi attachment thing now, you know? Like she's not even that badly hurt and I feel like my heart's been ripped out." 

Fives chuckles and bumps Rex's shoulder with his fist. "Well, Rex, this is a part of growing up. You know, you're going to start experiencing some changes, and some new feelings-" 

"Oh shut up," Rex shoves Fives hand off him, and Fives grin down at him. 

"What, I'm just saying you're a young man now, we should have this talk sooner or later. Now, sometimes when you're around pretty girls you'll-" Rex stands up with a laugh and shoves Fives. "Come on, Rex, I'm just trying to help out." 

Rex waves a finger in his face. "I don't need your help." 

"You sure about that? I have some biosheaths I can lend you-" 

"FIVES!" Rex ends up chasing Fives around the sickbay as Kix watches and laughs before Fives decides to hide behind Kix and use him as a human shield. "I swear, Fives, I'm going to kill you." 

"Don't kill Fives," You mutter, having awoken to the funniest scene of your life. "He's just trying to help, after all." 

"Cyare." Rex instantly moves to lean over and kiss you, not caring that people are around. He cradles the back of your neck with his hand, and once he pulls away, he places his forehead against yours and sighs. "You scared me, I was so worried." 

You reach up to cup Rex's cheek with a smile. "Eh, can't get rid of me that easily."

"Alright, lovebirds, let's keep a PDA to a minimum, we have impressionable eyes here." You turn to see Fives with his hand clamped over Kix's eyes and you laugh, but it quickly becomes a cough. Rex leaves from your side for a moment and returns with a glass of water. 

"Here, drink, you need your fluids." You drain the glass in one go as Kix struggles out of Fives grip. You hand Rex the cup back, and after he sets it down, he links your hand with his. "How are you feeling?" 

"Sore, mostly." You did, after all, get thrown back a good couple of feet from the explosion. You'd never seen an engine behave like that, just to explode as soon as you touched it. "What happened?" 

Rex looks at you with the same confusion, and it's Kix who has to answer you. You realize Rex likely had no idea what happened - After all, he's a captain off doing captain things, and yet here he is, making sure you're okay. He seems to have a sixth sense when you're hurt, maybe that's his superpower. "The general says Seppie's messed with it, rigged it to explode. You're lucky you're alive." 

"It-What?" Rex does a double-take to look at Kix. "She's lucky to be alive?" 

"That kind of explosion, if in the right area, could've wiped out a good amount of people or even downed the ship." You'd been by the blast shield, which is likely what helped absorb the damage. "Now, you get some rest, you've had a hell of a morning." 

"Fine," You yawn, settling back into the cot. "Only because you're a doctor." 

Rex laughs softly at that, squeezing your hand. "He's actually a field medic, he doesn't even rank as a doctor." 

"I can still outrank you, Rex, so watch it." You share a smile with Kix, and Rex's comms go off. He slips his hands from yours to answer it, and you yawn again. "Now seriously, get some rest." 

"Listen to the field medic, Civ." Kix sends Rex another glare as Rex presses a kiss to your forehead. "I'll come by later, okay?" 

"Okay," Rex watches you slip back under and sighs, heading back towards the bridge. 

Maybe it's not too late to get flowers. 

-

Kix discharged you from the sickbay that evening, despite his own protests that you should stay overnight and rest. There was no reason you couldn't do that back in your own quarters and not the freezing, overpowering-cleaning-smell filled sickbay. You'd been resting all day and sleep was, ironically enough, getting tiring. 

You wanted to go find something to do, but your day had been cleared from doing anything, so you were listening to the radio and reading. The music reminded you of dancing with Rex, and you let your eyes slip close to remember that night, swaying together. "I didn't take you as a classical music type." 

You nearly jump out of your skin, Rex leaning in the doorway of your room with a tray of food in his hands. "Maker, Rex, don't sneak up on me like that." 

"Sorry, Cyare, I didn't mean to spook you." He came and sat on the edge of your bed, handing over the tray. "But seriously, classical?" 

"It sounds nice and helps me relax. What do you have against classical music?" Rex shrugs and presses a kiss to your cheek, shifting himself to sit beside you in bed. 

"Nothing, just a bit too slow for my tastes. I brought you dinner from the mess, I know Kix's sickbay meals aren't, well, the best." Kix is a great medic, a good friend, and has the most terrible choices in what acceptable to eat in the sickbay. Mostly jello and soft baby foods. If there's one reason to avoid going to sickbay, it's the food. "Can you stomach it?" 

You take the soup in hand with a smile. "We're about to find out," Rex sticks his hand out over the bowl and raises his eyebrows. "Rex, I can eat solids, it's not like I'm hurt." 

"The bruise on your cheek says otherwise." He moves his hand from the bowl to cup your cheek. "I don't want you to get sick, cyare." 

"Then I'll only have a little bit, how does that sound?" You take a small sip and relish in the taste that normally you'd hate. "Shouldn't you be on duty?" 

"Shouldn't you be in sickbay?" You roll your eyes and take another sip, nestling into Rex's side. "I asked for an hour off to make sure you healed up okay." 

You can't help but smile, wondering when you'd wake up from this dream. Rex went out of his way to check on you, and while you're both romantically involved, it still makes your heart swell. "That's very kind of you." 

"Well, I can't have you waste away, now can I?" Rex reaches around you to grab the radio off your nightstand and mess with the channels before settling on some old jazzy channel. "There, that music was driving me crazy." 

"Is this any faster?" It's some old melodic slow dance song, compared to classical, it's barely an upgrade. You set your soup down and Rex frowns at how little you'd drank, and you slip from the bed with a sigh. 

"Easy Civ, you're still recovering," Rex follows you, and you slip your arms around his neck with a smile. 

"I don't think dancing can hurt me too much - Besides, if I only have you for an hour, we should spend it right, shouldn't we?" Rex just laughs softly and places his hands on your waist, far more gentle than he ever has before, and slowly starts to sway to the music with a hum. 

The song ends and another starts, but neither of you stops dancing, just content to hold each other. You can tell today scared him from the way he doesn't take his eyes off you for a moment, and you wonder how long he sat by your bed this morning. You almost feel bad, getting hurt like that, how scared he must've been. Rex seems to know what you're thinking and rests his forehead on yours with a soft smile.

If anyone were to walk in, it would be a ridiculous scene. You, beat up, slow dancing with a clone captain. But to you, being in Rex's arms and just being close to him is worth it. Rex presses a kiss to your forehead and looks back down at you. "What brought this on?" 

"I've been bored all day, I thought it'd be fun." You slip from Rex's arms to take his hand and spin yourself, but something pulls in your chest and you hiss, Rex instantly moving you back towards the bed. "I'm fine, Rex, really." 

"No, you need to rest. And eat something more, too." He was such a mother hen sometimes. He sits down first, and you're confused for a moment before he positions you to sit in his lap, his arms gently wrapped around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder. "I can't stay for long, cyare, but you let me know if you need anything, anything at all, okay?" 

"Okay." Rex picks up the soup, which has definitely gone cold, and you groan. He tenses for a moment, thinking you're hurt, and you turn to look at him. "Alright, you know what I need? Not to eat cold soup."

Rex laughs softly and sets it, and the tray, on your side table. "Fine, I agree with you there - do you want to lay down?" 

"No, I, um, I want to stay here." You blush and Rex presses a kiss to your cheek, and you can tell he's smiling. 

"That's alright with me." One thing you've always noticed about Rex, and his armour, is despite the fact it should be annoying and cold it's comforting and warm. Maybe it's because you just associate it with Rex, but laying back against his best, fiddling with Rex's hands in yours, you couldn't be more comfortable. 

You easily fall asleep, and when you wake, Rex is no longer with you, but on the bed beside you, is a single flower and you can't help but smile. 


	11. Jealousy

The 501st worked closely with the 212th - After all, General Skywalker and Kenobi were close friends. So, when you received news the 212th was finally getting some Auxilary crew, you were over the moon. Because while spending time with Rex and the clones was fun, you missed having someone who understood your references or needs. 

"You're awfully happy," Fives muttered over a cup of caf, and you really were, considering the circumstances on the less-than-ideal planet you'd been dropped off on. "Have a good night with Rex?" 

"Shut up, Fives." He snorted and turned back to his datapad. "There's another Auxilary worker coming, I'm just excited to see someone new. I'm starting to get tired of you, if you haven't noticed." 

"Be careful there, Civvie, Rex might get jealous." You roll your eyes as another transport lands, and Rex emerges from one of the tents, looking confused. 

"Why would I be jealous?" You shoot Fives a glare who takes one look between the two of you and bolts, spouting some lie about Tup needing his help. 

A hat falls onto your head, and you take a moment to try and figure out whose it is before you pull it off and you hear a familiar voice. "Well, if it isn't the Tiny Terror." 

"Well, if it isn't the Not So Gentle Giant!" Back when you had training, you'd been paired up with a couple of people, one of them being Luca Kanda. You two had a reputation of being considerably different sizes - you barely even came up to his shoulders. "What are you doing here?" 

"Got transferred over to help plan the assault." You roll your eyes, tossing his hat back up at him. 

"I think you mean you got transferred over to play with bigger guns." You turn to find Rex glaring at Luca, and for a moment you're confused before you realize quite quickly what this is. 

Jealousy. 

Rex is jealous. "Civ, whose this?" 

"Captain Rex, Luca. He was my partner back during training. Luca, this is Captain Rex of the 501st. " Luca holds out his hand for a handshake and Rex doesn't take it. There's a second of awkward silence before Luka pulls his hand back. 

"I didn't receive word of any new personnel joining us." You open your mouth to answer but Luca cuts you off. 

"I'm with the 212th, sir. I wouldn't want to take any spotlight away from tiny here," Luca reaches out and mess up your hair, and you swat his hand away with a laugh. Rex's glare just deepens before he excuses himself and storms back into his tent. Luca watches him go, confusion written plain on his face. "Is he always like that?" 

You shrug, not sure exactly what to tell him. "He'll grow on you, don't worry about that. He's just harsh with anyone new." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. "Here, I'll bring you to Commander Cody." 

"Thanks. So, what've you been up to since we last met?" Maker, where to start? 

"Repairing ships, trying not to die, the usual." You're unsure if you mention Rex or not - While you trust Luca, he's also the type of person to let that slip to the wrong person and get Rex decommissioned. "You?" 

"Oh, you know me, out fighting for our freedom." You roll your eyes and stop in front of Cody's tent. "You know, if you're free later, I'd love to catch up more." 

You don't think about Rex when you answer. "That sounds great." He says goodbye and leaves and you head back to work on the speeder you left, and find Rex and Fives in a quiet, yet angry discussion. As soon as Rex sees you approach he stops, going rigid and folding his arms, his telltale sign something's wrong. "What's wrong, Rex?" 

"Nothing, just getting a headache." A lie, when Rex gets headaches he presses a hand to his temple, despite the helmet. "Tiny Terror?" 

"Oh, shush, you. Have you seen Luca? He's a giant." You spin a wrench in your hand and point it at him. "So help me you start calling me that, I will change out your hair die for blue." 

"You know, that doesn't sound bad," Fives adds. "I could see him with blue hair." 

Maker, Rex with blue hair? While the image is hilarious, he'd never let it happen. "Now, unless either of you want to help fix this bucket of bolts, I suggest you leave me in peace." You and Rex both turn to Fives, who obviously doesn't get the message. "Fives, didn't you have to go help Tup with something?" 

"I, uh, did." He gets up and leaves, quickly, and you turn to place a hand on Rex's shoulder.

"You know, if I didn't think any better, I'd think you were jealous, Rex." Rex sputters and makes a noise you've never heard before. He then waves his hand, like the mere thought is ridiculous, and you can't help but smile. "If I eat dinner with Luca tonight, will you rip his head off?" 

"No." You can tell Rex is pouting under his helmet. "Just, um, report to me afterwards." 

You can't help but laugh, knowing Rex wants the best for you. "Alright, you want that written out in proper format too, cyare?" 

"You-" Rex tries to be mad but cuts himself off with a laugh. "Just be safe, alright?" 

-

"Jealous! I'm not jealous!" Rex can tell Cody's trying not to laugh, but he's still upset anyway. I mean, who wouldn't, when this random guy comes up to you and you two act like you've known each other forever! Have special nicknames! That's his thing, not this Luca person. 

"Have you thought that maybe Civ just missed hanging out with someone that isn't you?" Rex glared up at him, and Cody pointed a finger at him. "Come on, Rex, she's a civilian. Even Fives said she was just excited to see another civilian again." 

"I still don't like him." Rex folded his arms with a huff. "And I'm not jealous." 

Cody just patted his shoulder with a sigh. "Why don't you just tell her?" 

"Because then she'll think I'm overprotective or crazy." Cody rolled his eyes and placed both of his hands on Rex's shoulders, staring him dead in the eye. 

"You like her, she likes you, you are dating, right?" Rex pauses, realizing you two have never had 'The Talk' about what exactly you are. Sure, you've kissed multiple times and slept in the same bed but..."Rex, she is your girlfriend, right?" 

"I've never asked her out. Officially." Cody groans and smacks his forehead. "What! We haven't really had some downtime to talk about this, we're just, I don't know, doing whatever right now." 

Cody gives him a long, unimpressed look, and Rex has run out of excuses. Truth be told, he's too afraid to ask because he's too afraid of your answer. "Tonight, you're going to sit Civ down and ask her out. Officially." 

"We've got-" Cody waves his hand, cutting Rex off. 

"I don't care, you've dragged this out long enough," Cody has a secret betting pool going about how long Rex'll wait to ask you out with the rest of the clones in the 501st and 212th, and truth be told, normally he wouldn't care about when Rex asks you out, but he has money on this week. "Just ask her out. Remember that cliff we came in on? Take her out there for dinner or something." 

"She's going out with your civilian tonight." The civilian he is NOT jealous of. Obviously. "And I promised her I wouldn't freak on him." 

Cody snorts out a laugh. "You've already done that, Vod. Now just wait until she's done with him and take her out to see the stars or something." 

"She sees the stars every day anyway." Cody jabs a finger into his chest. 

"But does she watch the stars with you every day?" Rex sits back with a sigh. No, the last time you both watched the stars was that night at the gala. "Trust me when I say nothing bad's going to happen. Leave everything else up to me." 

Rex gave Cody a look as he left the tent, and for a moment, he was pretty sure Cody was going to go kill Luca - Not that he'd mind, at all, but they've strict rules to make sure the civvie's stay alive. So, Rex just put his faith in Cody and prayed everything worked out. 

What Cody had meant by 'Leave everything else up to me' was cornering Luca and threatening that if he tried anything with Civ, he'd have two whole battalions on him and that if he valued his life, he'd do the right thing. Fives had been there to witness it, and while it was a hilarious moment, Cody could be absolutely terrifying when he needed to be. 

You didn't know that anything had actually happened, however, so the beginning to dinner was awkward, to say the least. "So, are you and Cody close?" 

"Cody?" Sure, he was a good friend of Rex, but not yours. "I know him, yes, why?" 

"They all seem very, um, protective of you." You blush with a groan, knowing someone definitely did something. "I'm pretty sure they're also spying on us right now." 

"Oh, you get used to that." The number of times you'd found someone just off to the sidelines, watching you work, was astronomical. "They just want the best for me, I'm sorry if they said anything to you." 

Luca waves his hand with a sigh. "Don't worry about it, they haven't done anything." 

"If they threaten you, be careful. I've once seen an arm wrestle contest turn into a sickbay visit." Fives almost broke his wrist, and he wasn't one of the people arm wrestling. "So how have you been? How's life back home?" 

Home. Rex hears you say the word and he wonders what your home is like. He's never asked, but maybe he should've. Did you have friends you never get to see anymore? Family? Oh maker, did he have to meet your family? You sound so...happy, talking to Luca, that Rex worries about himself. Would you be happier with someone else? Rex didn't know what a normal life was, or what home meant. For him, home was your little cramped room on the Resolute. You deserved someone who could treat you to the life you need, not a clone who couldn't even work up the courage to ask you out. 

He hears you laugh, and while normally he loves the sound, it breaks his heart. He's done enough eavesdropping and goes back to planning out tomorrows assault, trying not to freak out. 

-

"I'm here to give my report." Rex startles at your voice, hunched over a display of the cliffs nearby. "We ate dinner and talked." 

"Talked about what?" He tries to keep his emotion from his voice. 

"Training days, overprotective clones," You reach up and tug off his helmet. He tries to hide the sadness in his eyes, but you catch it anyway, and you set his helmet down and cup his face. "About how Luca's wife is worried about him." Rex relaxes instantly and pulls you in for a kiss, despite the fact anyone could walk in. He'll never admit he's jealous, or at least was jealous, and you know nothing could've ever happened between you and Luca. You loved Rex too much to even think of it. 

You pull away with a laugh, and Rex grabs the backpack Kix left him. "Do you want to go stargazing with me?" 

"That sounds lovely." Maker, the last time you went stargazing must've been that senate event. You liked watching the stars, but typically, you were either stuck in a room with no windows or on overpopulated planets that made the stars shine less bright. On a planet like this, where there are no towns for miles and miles, you can make out every constellation. 

Rex leads you down a path, hand hovering over the small of your back in case you slip. "Cody told me about this back way, though I think he uses it to escape from general Kenobi." 

"They're like an old married couple." You and Rex share a laugh and you finally come to the clearing, and it takes your breath away. You're looking out over forests below, and there are so many stars you couldn't count them if you tried. "Rex, this is beautiful." 

Rex slips his hand into yours and squeezes it. "Come sit, I brought you something." 

You want to sit on the edge of the cliff, but Rex doesn't let you. Instead, you find a spot at the bottom of a tree and Rex opens his bag and hands you a container. "What's this?" 

"Open it," Inside is some pastry, definitely nothing rationed or from the Resolute. You gasp and turn to look at Rex, who just grins back at you. "I was saving it for a rainy day, but you know, I think today works as well." 

"What is it?" You tear it in half and hand one portion to Rex, and it smells incredible. If there's one thing you've missed from home it's the food - ration bars and mess hall food just aren't the same. 

"Apparently, it's a citrus cake. Other than that, I don't really know." You send Rex a glare, and he just smiles back at you. "Here, I'll try it first, make sure it isn't poisoned." 

He takes a bite and hums, leaning back against the tree. You take it as a good sign, and a take a bite. It's almost overly sweet, and you can tell why Rex likes it so much. "That's good, but a lot of sugar." 

"What, you don't have a sweet tooth?" You roll your eyes and nudge him. 

"Well, maybe not as big of a sweet tooth as you." You sit and eat in silence, watching the stars and enjoying just being close to Rex. It's awfully quiet for a warzone, and the only noise it feels like for miles is the sound of you and Rex breathing. 

You turn your head and find Rex staring at you and you blush, ducking your head so he doesn't see. He intertwines his fingers with yours, and you look back up at him to find a new expression on his face. Something between fear, pain, and regret. "Do you...Do you love me, Civ?" 

"Of course I do, Rex." He turns to look back out at the stars and sighs. 

"Wouldn't you be happier with someone normal?" His voice cracks slightly and it _hurts_. "Another civilian? I can't...I can't love you or take care of you like someone else could." 

"Maker, do you hear yourself, Rex? I'm perfectly happy here, with you." He still doesn't look over, eyes glued to the sky. 

"But I'm...I'm just a clone." Just a clone. That's all he thinks of himself, isn't it? That he's nothing more than a droid programmed to follow orders. "You deserve someone special, Civ. I'm the same as every other clone out there." 

You want to smack him, kill him, and kiss him. Maybe not in that order. "Just because you share a face with someone doesn't mean you share their thoughts or dreams or personality. Believe it or not, you are one of a kind, Rex. And I wouldn't trade you for the world." 

"You don't mean that, cyare." He finally turns to look at you and he believes it. He believes he's worthless, that he's nothing, that he can't love you. You grab the top of his chest armour and pull him towards you, and kiss him. His hand cradles the back of your head, and this is what he needs to see and feel: Love. He might think he's nothing, but to you, he's everything. He's the face you most want to see when you wake up and the heartbeat you want to fall asleep to. 

"I love you, Rex. And I mean it. Screw 'deserve someone better', I deserve you." You place a hand on his chest. "I want you." 

Rex kisses you again, a million times more desperate, and the world fades around you. With Rex, it feels like it's just you and him. No wars, no stupid rules, just a man and woman who love each other, and that's all you need. Rex pulls away and cups your cheek, the biggest smile on his face. "Civ, will you be my girlfriend?" 

Those were not the words you expected him to say, at all, and you almost laugh - all this time spent with him, and you've never had a title, and never really needed one. It seems almost foolish that he needs to ask. "Of course, Rex." 


	12. Your Toothbrush Next to Mine

When Rex commed you, he hadn't slept for four days straight. Commander Tano was framed for bombing the Jedi temple, and while Rex and the generals were back on Coruscant, you and the others were still on Cato Neimoidia. It was obvious, from the beginning, that Ahsoka wasn't capable of something this destructive; While you only ever worked with the clones, you'd still met and interacted with her, and she was as close as a little sister to Rex. 

Her name was cleared, but she didn't return to the Jedi order. She didn't say goodbye to Rex. If you'd thought he'd been distressed before, this was something new, because for once, Rex wasn't physically hurt. It was all mental. "How quickly can you make it back to Coruscant?" 

"I don't know, why?" You're over the moon to hear Rex's voice and devastated by how drained he sounds. 

"I need you here. Tonight. I'm overriding whatever I need to, you're taking the first shuttle back to me." This is the first time Rex's ever pulled rank for you, and you're nervous, to say the least. He always tries to hide this side of himself, the desperate soldier in need of help, so him going this far to see you means something's wrong. Very, very wrong. 

When you do make it back to base, everyone's abuzz with the news of Ahsoka leaving, and the whole incident, and when you find Fives all you want to do is give him a hug. His expression is the same after he lost Echo - empty. "Have you seen Rex?" 

"Said he was going to swing around your quarters - What're you doing here, Civ?" You don't honestly know. You're doing whatever Rex needs you to do. 

"Rex wanted me back on base." Fives nods, thoughtful, and you wonder what must've happened to make him fall silent instead of making a joke about you and Rex. "Is everything alright?" 

"We lost a commander today. We're all taking it differently." You pull Fives in for a hug and he doesn't expect it, but he still wraps his arms around you with a sigh. He holds you there for a minute before slowly pulling away. "Be careful there, Civ, wouldn't want Rex to get the wrong idea." 

There's Fives, back with his one-liners. "Ah, I'm sure he won't mind," Fives smiles and turns back to his datapad, and you rush off to your barracks. When you get to your room, you expect Rex to be sat on your bed, like always. Instead, you find his piled-up armour and for a moment you panic. Rex is never without his armour, and it seems almost like a sign that something's so wrong that he'd abandon it here. You glance around before you see the lights on under the closed refresher door. 

You gently knock and get no answer. "Rex? Are you in there?" It takes a moment, but you hear shuffling on the other side of the door. 

"You can come in." You slide open the door and find Rex leaning against the sink, in the bottom half of his blacks, fresh out of the shower. His hands shake as he reaches out for you and you let him pull you into his chest, despite the fact he's still wet. He murmurs something in Mando'a into your hair and lets out a shuddering breath. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you, cyare." 

"I'm so sorry to hear about Commander Tano." Rex tenses for a moment, before moving his hand up to cradle the back of your head and bring you into a kiss. You wish you could take the pain away; Rex has been though so much already, he doesn't deserve to have this happen to him. First Echo, Hardcase, so many more nameless faces, having to watch his commander walk away would be heartbreaking. 

He pulls away for a moment before leaning in for another kiss and you can tell he's desperate to have you in his arms. How did he deal with this before? When it felt like his world was collapsing, who did he turn to? You know the answer is no one, and it hurts. When you break apart for a second time you pull him away from the refresher and towards your bed. You let go of him to move his armour to the side and he sits on the edge, staring at the floor.

You slip from your jumpsuit and Rex's eyes stay trained on the floor, and as you step closer to him he finally looks up. You run a hand over his hair, that he's let grow out by not caring to shave, and he leans into your touch with a sigh. "Can," His voice is quiet and rough to the point you almost don't hear him. "Can we just sit for a moment?"

"Absolutely." You sit behind him and run a hand over the long scars you cleaned, happy to see they've healed properly. You trace over more, a map of the battles Rex has lived through, and he relaxes into your touch. You know he won't lay down for a bit, still running on shock and caf, afraid of the faces that await him when he does fall asleep. 

"How was Neimodia?" Truth be told, it was a boring week, but Rex doesn't want to hear about broken speeders or fixed comm-links. No, he wants to hear that you were safe in his absence.

"It was good - Didn't do much, just stayed on the sidelines." You press a kiss to his shoulder and Rex turns to give you a small smile and push himself up against your headboard. He laces his fingers with yours and pulls you into his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist. You can feel his chest rise and fall against you, and it's oddly calming. 

You sit in silence for a moment, Rex gently rubbing his thumb over a scar on your elbow from the explosion. You want to ask questions about his mission, about Ahsoka, but you don't want to tug at already tender wounds. To your surprise, it's Rex who breaks the silence. "You know, she never said goodbye." 

"She had a lot on her plate, Rex." You move his hand away from your arm and trace shapes into the palm of his hand. "I know it must've been hard." 

"I'm worried for her. She's just still so young, and out there, alone." Rex liked to pretend he didn't care about people when he first met them; he was a cold, collected captain. But in reality, when Rex loved, he loved with his whole heart, and when those he loved left, it broke him more than he'd ever show. 

"Ahsoka's smart, she'll be safe." Rex presses a kiss to the top of your head. "Now, you should rest, you've been up for far too long." 

He sighs, and you move to leave him and he just wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you back, laying down so he can spoon you. Rex will never admit how clingy he is, but you find it adorable how easily he relaxes into you, legs tangled with yours, fingers running up and down your side. He presses a kiss into the side of your neck and you giggle, shifting to look up at him. "Well, is someone ticklish?" 

"I swear, Rex, I will kick you out of this bed," You hold no malice behind your words and Rex just grins and kisses your neck again. 

You wonder how many nights he's spent in your bed and not in his own. How many nights has it become normal to have him here, despite not even being anything remotely official? How many times have his brother caught him sneaking out and let him, knowing he's coming to you? You love him so much more than he possibly knows. Before him, your life with the 501st was bland at best, if you can call war bland. With him here, you feel so much safer, and so much more whole. You never knew what you'd been missing before Rex, but now it seems impossible to go a day without him. "I love you, Rex." 

"I love you too, Civ." You can tell the words take him aback, both of you not used to admitting things to each other. "Can I ask you to make another promise?" For Rex, you'd promise him the moon and stars if it meant being able to lay in his arms forever.

"Anything." Rex's hands shake as it rests on your hip.

"Never leave me. Please." You've seen Rex at what you thought was his worst, seen him through countless battles and countless wounds. But this, this vulnerable moment and hushed words are what brings tears to your eyes because you know one day everything could be taken from you, or everything could be taken from Rex. His biggest fear is to lose everyone around him, and the way his arms tighten around you, you wonder how long this war will last until one of you will have to say goodbye. 

Goodbyes are sometimes the end, and even then, getting a proper goodbye is rare. "I promise, Rex." You know that Rex needs to hear those words, that promise that you'll never leave, because one day you might not be here to say them.

-

For once you wake before Rex, and you take the time to slowly shift onto your back to watch him sleep, peaceful and quiet. It always astounds you how calm he looks asleep, compared to the tempered human he was when he was awake. You slip yourself from his grip and press a kiss to his temple before heading to the refresher. 

You let yourself indulge in a quick morning shower before changing into another jumpsuit and fussing with your hair in front of the mirror, and you're taken back to the days when the most you had to worry about was just work; No wars, no soldiers, no Rex, just you on a dust planet wondering when something new would happen. 

The Clone Wars has changed so much, both for the better and worse, and you wonder how much life Rex has actually experienced. First snowfall, first spring, first festival, real normal things. Not what the Clones consider normal. If he's ever had a holiday break or gone swimming in a lake. 

Once this is all over, you want to take Rex for a tour of the galaxy and let him experience everything the universe has to offer. He, of all people, deserve it. 

The refresher door slides open and Rex groggily steps in and wraps his arms around your waist and buries his face into your shoulder with a grunt. Rex wasn't a morning person, by any means. "My, you're grumpy today, aren't you?" 

"Bright." He mutters and you roll your eyes, despite the fact you've blinded yourself multiple times with the refresher lights in the middle of the night. "Need caf." 

"Don't we all, drinking that much can't be good for you." Rex drains easily seven cups a day, and that's a low average. Rex huffs out a laugh at that and presses a kiss to your neck just to watch you squirm. "Stop that and go get dressed before you end up fighting a battle in your underwear." 

"You'd like to see that." You swat his arm as he laughs and steps back into your room and you wonder what happened to that broken captain yesterday, mourning his commander. Maybe he just needed a good nights sleep, maybe he needed you, maybe he's hiding it. Whatever it is, he takes his time putting his armour on as you brush your teeth. 

For the first time, it feels like, you notice the extra toothbrush beside yours and it makes your heart swell. You and Rex are a couple, yet have never talked much about it. It was never odd to have him in your bed or to kiss him, yet for some reason, having a toothbrush beside yours makes you giddy with how domestic it is. 

It's even blue, the same blue as his armour and you roll your eyes. You know, for a fact, all the boys in the 501st have painted almost everything they've owned that colour. You turn back to Rex, surprised to find him still struggling with his armour. You can see his hands shake from a distance, and when you approach, he tries to hide the pain on his face and the tremble in his hands. "Do you want some help?" 

"Yes, please." You kneel in front of him and finish connecting his chest plate for him, and you go about putting all the other piece in place. Rex's hands shake and he reaches one up to cup your cheek to try and steady himself, but you can still feel then tremble. It's strange how during battles, fights, and war plans, Rex's hands are perfectly steady, but as soon as he's taken from that environment they shake, and you know it's because his body doesn't know how to deal with pain or fear. "I'm sorry, Cyare." 

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Rex." You take Rex's hands in yours and notice his eyes watering. You reach up and cup his cheek, and Rex looks downright pitiful. "What's this about, cyare?" 

"I'm just worried." You wonder what truly goes on in the storm that is Rex's brain. How many nights has he laid awake thinking about what tomorrow brings? How many times has he had to bury a brother or leave him to rot on a battlefield? Rex is so stressed all the time, you're surprised his muscles aren't all knots at this point.

You pull him into a hug, and he sinks into it. He lets out a long breath into your shoulder as you run a hand up and down his back. "You're a good captain and a good man, Rex." He needs to hear those words more. Affirmations that he's more than a clone and more than another death to the Republic, because even Rex has his doubts. Any good soldier would. 

Rex presses a kiss to your neck, ruins the moment, and you can't help but giggle and try to pull from his grip. "Nope, there's no escaping this one." You laugh as Rex stands and spins you around, strong enough that your feet lift from the ground. He stares at you for a moment before pulling you into a kiss and you melt into his arms. 

You pull away with a sigh and pat his arm. "You should get going soon before someone notices us leaving my room." 

"Well, we wouldn't want rumours, would we?" There's this part of you that wants everyone to know you and Rex are a thing, and another that needs to keep it your little secret. That it's nice just to be unknown to the world, and not have to worry about anyone watching you. "But you're right, I'm going to head out." 

"Have a good day, alright? Try not to strangle Fives." He rolls his eyes and pushes himself towards you, pulling you into another kiss. 

"I'll try, you have a good day too. Try not to get blown up again." Its' your turn to roll your eyes, and you pick up his helmet from the ground and hand it to him. "Bye, Civ." 

Saying goodbye is always the hardest part of your day. "Bye, Rex." 


	13. The Things I Do For You

"Civ." Fives appeared at your side, seemingly out of nowhere, and that only meant trouble. After all, he had no real reason to seek you out on base and knowing Fives, you were in for...something. You just weren't quite sure what yet.

"Fives." You respond hesitantly, and he clasps his hands together and rocks gently back and forth on his heels. 

"How much do you love Rex?" You kick his shin, still in the hangar bay where anyone could hear you. While it felt like every clone knew about you and Rex, you still didn't want to risk a general hearing. "What! It's a valid question." 

You point a screwdriver at him with a scowl. "What's this about?" 

"Rex has been stuck doing paperwork all day, and we've got a clear night, and we want to take him out to 79's." Of course this is about drinking. "No one has been able to get him to agree, so, how much do I have to bribe you to get Rex to come out tonight?" Fives grins down at you, and you can tell he's trying to win you over.

"Buy me a drink, and you have a deal." To be quite honest, you'd do it for nothing, but if Fives was offering, you're taking it. 

"Great. Now, where do you keep your dresses?" You look up at him, unimpressed, and his smile just spreads. "What, I'm just trying to be a good wingman." 

You roll your eyes and start to pack up your things. "You keep that up, I'm not doing anything." 

"Fine, fine, just go get changed and meet me back in the barracks." Barracks? You'd never been into the clones barracks before, and Fives notices your hesitation. "What, you've never snuck into our barracks before?" You sock him in the shoulder and he just laughs. "I'm serious, I thought you and Rex snuck around with each other." 

"Maker, Fives, keep this up and you'll have a wrench through your skull." Fives just laughs and waves goodbye, jogging off to where you see Jesse waiting on the sidelines. 

You can't help but smile, shaking your head at the thought of what the clones get up to on their time off. Your shift ends and you rush off to change, something new you've been waiting to try on for a while. You'd seen it in a store window and had to buy it, the colour of the dress the exact same colours as the 501st's armour. 

While it wasn't exactly in your comfort zone, you knew Rex would love it. And, if he was in one of his report moods, you'd need some extra help to convince him to come. You try not to spend too much time getting ready, unsure of how much time they had off, and you have to stop and stare at yourself in the mirror. 

You can't shake this stupid smile as you take yourself in, and you wonder what Rex's reaction will be. You spin in the dress and laugh before heading out, and you become very aware that you're dressed up as you walk around base, trying not to feel awkward as you enter the clones barracks.

They're more dimly lit than you'd expect, but still very average. There are no posters on the walls or any personal details besides the paint jobs of the armour they wear. "Well, Civ, you clean up nice. I almost didn't recognize you without the jumpsuit." You slap Fives arm and he rolls his eyes, walking you towards a side door. "Hey, I'm just saying you need to get rid of that old thing." 

"What, and be stuck with clone armour?" Fives laughs and punches in a code, and turns back to you. 

"I'd like to see that, you'd make a terrible clone." You're unsure of whether or not that's a compliment, or a diss, so you'll go with the first. 

"I'm going to take that as a compliment." Fives ushers you forward and basically shoves you into the room, and closes the door. Rex looks up and does a double-take, jaw going slack, and you smile at him. He looks absolutely stunned, and you can't help but blush, smoothing down the front of your dress. "So, how's the report coming along?" 

You can tell he's shocked by how he doesn't respond right away, and you take in Rex's room. Bed, untouched, blank walls and blank desk. There's an armour stand in the corner, and his ARC armour is hung there. You finally looked back over at him and find him with the same expression, and he blinks rapidly, as if not believing you're actually here. "Civ? What are you doing here?" 

"Fives told me you're not going drinking tonight because you're working on a report." You lean against the desk beside him and fold your arms. His brow furrows, and you grin at him. "So naturally, I'm here to persuade you to come. I got all dressed up and everything, we're going out tonight." 

"Of course Fives roped you into this." Rex groaned and leaned back, rubbing his hands over his face. "I shouldn't be going drinking, we all have work tomorrow." 

"Then come out for one glass, have a good time, and come home with me." You have no intention of getting blasted tonight either, but if Fives is buying, you're not going to say no. Besides, you kind of want to see Rex drunk, a side of him you've never seen or heard of. 

Rex stands up and you grin and pull him into your arms. "I can't say no to you can I?" 

"No, you cannot." You pull him into a quick kiss, and he tosses aside his report. "Now come on Rex, we've got a night of fun ahead of us." 

-

The bar feels even more packed than last time, all of you piled into a booth. By all of you, it's Jesse, Kix, Fives, Tup, and Rex, along with a few shinies tagging along. You learn, quite quickly, who can hold their alcohol and who cannot, which you find interesting considering they all have the same genetic make-up. 

Kix is a lightweight and is blushing after one glass, Jesse is trying to pretend he's not drunk, and both Tup and Fives are holding out well considering they're downing shots like nobodies business. "So, Civ, I remember saying I'd buy you a drink." 

"Yes, you did." Fives slides over the same blue shot as before, and Rex instantly pulls it further away and hands it off to Jesse. "Rex, I was going to drink that." 

"No wonder you couldn't walk straight last time, that's stuff's poison." Jesse reaches around Rex to hand you the shot, and you smile back at him as you take it. 

"I'll do only one shot tonight if you do it with me," Fives holds out a shot to Rex, who cautiously eyes it before taking it, and you see a glint of chaos in Fives' eyes. Rex seems very hesitant, so you gently place a hand on his arm. "You don't have to, but I'm going to keep drinking." 

Rex looks at you, sighs, and does the shot anyway. You follow, wincing as it burns going down. That earns a round of cheers, and Rex slams the shot back down onto the table. "The things I do for you, Civ." 

"You know you love me." Rex stretches his arm above you on the booth, and you turn to listen to Tup ramble on about something (with the music, you can't hear what, but he looks excited enough that you pretend to listen along) and Rex's arm drifts to wrap around your shoulder and pull you into his side. It's strange how comfortable his armour could be, and you easily melt into his side.

You glance up and notice the tips of his ears going pink, and you're shocked. Rex was a lightweight. Could it be, that the reason he didn't go out drinking was that he couldn't handle it? "Civ, you have any embarrassing stories about Rex?" Kix's voice breaks you from your shock, and you turn to look at him.

"Oh, I don't know." Rex gives you a look as Cody's mud story comes to the forefront of your mind and you giggle. "Were you guys there when he fell into a pit of mud?" 

"Wait, what? No, when the hell'd that happen?" Fives exclaims, before taking another shot. Rex looks down at you in shock and you can't help but laugh as realization dawns over his face. 

"Cody, wasn't it?" You nod and Rex presses a hand to his face. "I'm going to kill him." 

"I'm sorry, I'm still waiting to hear this story." Rex sends you a glare, and you know better than to tell the boys it. 

Doesn't mean you won't blackmail him about it. "Rex, I won't tell them if you go dancing with me." If there's one thing Rex doesn't do or at least doesn't do often, is dance. 

"Fine, but you better keep that promise." Promises, promises. Why did you and Rex make so many promises? You slide out of the booth and Rex follows, and you lead him to the dancefloor, which is equally packed with people (mostly clones). "I hope you know I have no idea what I'm doing." 

"Oh, I do. Remember what we did last time? Just sway." The music is fast and shakes the floor and all you want to do is jump around, but that might be the alcohol talking. Rex's hands awkwardly find your waist and you move back and forth to the music, Rex looking almost mortified by the position he's been put in. "Just relax, Rex." 

"I am relaxed!" You giggle against Rex's shoulder and he laughs with you, and you both take a moment to think about how ridiculous the situation you two are in. Dancing, in a club, with a clone captain who couldn't dance if it saved his life. "You know, I almost prefer your classical music to this." 

You smile up at him and wrap your arms around his neck. "I'm glad you're finally seeing things my way." 

"Doesn't mean I enjoy it, just means whatever is playing right now sucks." You laugh and look up at Rex, to find him lost in his own little world, staring at you. It takes him a moment to snap out of it, ducking his head down with a small smile. "You look really pretty tonight, Civ." 

"I thought you'd like the dress." Rex looks confusion and looks you up and down as if seeing the dress for the first time. "What?" 

"I-I meant you. Your face." Maker, he is a bit tipsy, isn't he? "Not to say that you don't look pretty all the time, but you look extra pretty tonight." 

His words start to slur, and it almost sobers you. "Rex, how much have you had to drink?" 

"Shut up." He flushes even deeper, and you love the look on him. "I can hold beer or whiskey, but when it comes to this manufactured stuff? It's poison, it rots your brain." 

"I always did take you as a beer type of guy." You press a kiss to his cheek and pull him from the dancefloor, too many people and too many noises making your head hurt. Clubs weren't your scene, and it wasn't Rex, and all you really want is to be back on base. "Hey Rex, do you want to go home?" 

"Yes please." Rex seems so relieved you ask, and you pull him over to the booth where even more shot glasses have accumulated. Kix is...asleep? Passed out? At the back of the booth, Jesse is bright red, and Fives and Tup are still going to see who can drink the most. Fives smiles when you approach, and he's properly drunk. 

"Civvie! How was dancing?" You couldn't call what you and Rex did 'dancing' but more like awkward stepping. 

You laugh and lean into Rex's side, and his arm snakes around your waist. "Fun, me and Rex and going to head home." 

"Aw, I wanted another rounds of shots!" He grins and rests his head on his hand, looking up at you. "Well, have fun tonight, and always use protec-" 

"Fives!" 

-

Rex has to help you walk again, arm looped around your waist as he pretty much has to drag you down the hall. "See, this is why I don't like you drinking, you get all weak." 

"Hey! I'm not weak." You punch Rex's shoulder for good measure and he laughs. 

"You know what I mean, cyare. Now come on, let's get you ready for bed." You turn to look up at him as you enter your room. 

"I'm not tired, Rex." Rex blush deepens a few shades as he slowly sits down on your bed, and you know what he's thinking. "No, silly, I want to dance." 

Rex does a double-take, confusion plain on his face. Ever since Rex made the classical music comment, all you want to do is recreate that night at the gala, just slow dancing and being in Rex's arms. "We just left the club." 

"Not club dancing, us dancing!" You fumble with the radio and turn on Rex's channel and some sappy love song plays. You sway to the music and hold out your hands to him, and he reluctantly takes them and stands. "Come on, Rex. I know you don't dance, but-" 

"But I make an exception for you." His arms slide around your waist, and yours around his neck, and you take the moment to look at Rex. Your Rex. Who doesn't dance, and gets tipsy off bad drinks, who is a terrible flirt but still tries, and loves you. There's a good amount of alcohol talking, but it's all true. "I meant what I said earlier, about you looking pretty tonight." 

"You're not half bad yourself." Rex rolls his eyes and leans his forehead against yours. You wonder why he does that so often - If he can't kiss you, he'll press his forehead against yours, or when it's late at night and you're curled up together he'll do the same. It's a sweet gesture, and you love that about Rex. The little, unnoticed sweet things he does. Or doesn't do, for that matter. He seemed to use up all his courage to ask you out, and since then, whenever you bring up the topic he flushes bright red and doesn't respond properly. You wonder if tonight will be the same. "Was tonight a date?" 

"I mean, if you consider going to a bar for an hour or two with a bunch of friends, sure." You snort out a laugh at the emphasis he puts on 'friends'. But still, technically your first official date with Rex. 

You smile up at him and find him lost once again. "Our first date." 

"I'd argue the senate thing was our first date, but sure." Was it? You two weren't a thing, but it was kind of a date. A not-actually first date. You two have probably done more in your 'not-dating' phase then you ever will in your 'dating' phase. "Or maybe, maybe, us going out to eat on that cliff was our first date." 

"You did ask me out, that does constitute as a date. Or when we went out to dinner and you kissed me." You can't help but smile at the memories, forever engrained in your brain. Rex's hands move from your waist suddenly, and you wonder what's wrong for a brief second before he places them on either side of your face and kisses you. 

He tastes like bad alcohol, and you imagine you do too, and you smile into the kiss. Rex pulls away with a small gasp, and his smile matches your own. "You know, sometimes I need to kiss you just to make sure you're actually here." 

"I'm actually here, Rex, you don't have to worry about that." You pull Rex into another kiss, moving back towards your bed, and once again it feels like the universe comes to a standstill. No war, no regulations, the only thing's left in the galaxy are you and Rex, intertwined with each other. 

You didn't think about tomorrow, or whatever the next battle brings, your uncertain future or that you'll probably wake up alone again. 

No, all you think about is Rex, lips pressed against yours, and that's all you need. 


	14. We're Not Good at Goodbyes

"Civ? Could I, um, talk to you for a moment?" Rex stands awkwardly off to the side of your work area, trying not to touch any of your tools. 

"Sure, Rex, what is it?" You don't look up from your datapad, trying to figure out how to fix a lighting rig. You were a mechanic and an engineer, but the jobs they gave you were often a bit out of your area of expertise. 

"I mean, I need to talk to you. Face to face." You turn and look up at him, and it's obvious he's hiding something. His eyes don't meet yours, and his hands are clasped behind his back. 

"What's going on, Rex?" For a brief second, every bad possible outcome flashes through your mind. Did someone die? Is he dying? 

Rex perches himself on the edge of your table and holds out his hand. You take it, and he turns it over to drop something into your palm and you close your hand around it. "Me and a few of the boys are being sent on a mission I can't tell you about. And it's dangerous. And I wanted you to have something in case I don't make it back." 

Don't make it back. Rex has always talked like every battle could be his last, but never like this. You unfold your hand and stare down at a blue and white...something on a string. Running a finger over it, it's a shard of armour, and you wonder where it came from. Unless Rex was stupid (though sweet) enough to break his own armour to give you a gift, it was either from a broken chest plate or something. "This is beautiful, cyare." 

"You like it?" You nod and he finally smiles, so happy with himself with his gift. "It's from a broken shoulder pad I shattered a while back." 

"How did you shatter it?" Rex gives you a look and you laugh. It was definitely from something stupid. "Alright, nevermind, forget I asked." 

"Put it on?" You slide the string over your neck and look down at it, and it hits you that this is Rex making sure you always have a piece of him with you. The thought makes your heart stop, how serious the situation is hitting you hard.

You glance around and press a kiss to his cheek, careful to make sure no one sees. "I love it. You better make it home safe, Rex." 

"I will always make it back to you, cyare. This is just in case I'm a bit late." You lace his hand with yours and swing it back and forth. 

"When are you leaving?" Rex hesitates, obviously given orders not to discuss this with anyone. "Alright, will you come back to my room tonight?" 

"No." You'd wished he told you sooner, but it's likely he didn't know until today. He gently squeezes your hand and brings it up to kiss your knuckles. "This will be goodbye, Civ." 

All you want is time. More time with him, more time to prepare. "I love you, Rex. Please come home to me." 

"I promise, cyare." You can't even give him a proper kiss goodbye. The reality of the situation hits and you want to cry, or scream, or follow him to wherever he's going. Just to know he's safe. His hand reaches up to cup your cheek, and the door beside you slides open. You both turn to see Fives, who obviously was looking for Rex, freeze. 

"I'm sorry for interrupting, but we have to go." Rex gives you one last look before slipping from your grasp, and you turn to look at Fives. 

'"You two watch out for each other, okay?" Fives smiles and gives a salute. 

"Yes, ma'am." Fives always manages to put a smile on your face, even in the worst of situations. Well, situations could be worse than this, but you don't want to think of those. 

Rex hesitates and looks back at you, and you wave him goodbye. You'd think, after all this time, you'd be able to say goodbye to him. But goodbye's mean there might not be another hello, and you're too afraid to speak that into existence. "Stay safe, okay?" 

"I promise." You wonder when he's going to break one of those promises. 

-

Two weeks. That's how long you've been without contact with Rex. Your pillow didn't smell like him anymore, the bed no longer has the divets from when Rex would lay, and all you have to comfort you at night is a shard of armour that haunts your dreams as something far more sinister. 

You didn't know you could miss him this much - You'd lasted far longer without him before, but now it's different. Now it means he could be dead or lost out somewhere, on some dangerous mission. Maybe he got captured and is being held hostage somewhere. It's not like you could even go complain to Kix or Fives, both off on their mission with Rex. 

Your days move by in a blur, the same boring jobs in and out. You've made a habit out of playing with the necklace Rex got you when you think, and every time you touch it you think of Rex and whatever horrible situation he's in. 

"Civ, you've got company." Someone calls across the hangar. You look up, excited, expecting Rex to be back, but instead find Cody standing above you. Panic fills you, knowing Cody coming to _you_ wasn't a good sign. 

"H-Hello, Commander." You stand up from the engine you were fixing, wiping grease off on a rag. "Can I help you with anything?" 

"Actually, I was wondering if I could help you." You glance down at the engine and wonder what exactly he meant by. "I think we need to have a talk." 

Ah, so today was going to be one of those days. "Uh, sure." You drop the rag onto the engine and turn back to Cody, who gestures for you to follow him. You've only interacted with Cody a couple of times, so him leading you around the Resolute wasn't a good sign either. He stopped in front of a marked door and punched in a code, and you realize it's his room. 

It's even smaller than your own, with just a bed, desk and an armour rack and small refresher attached. You'd think, for a commander, he'd have better accommodations. "We need to talk about Rex." 

"Is he alright?" Cody removes his helmet and sets it on the armour stand, and moves to a heating pad on top of his desk.

"From what I've heard, he and the others are doing just fine. Tea?" You nod and he pulls two mugs out of nowhere, and the thought crosses your mind that you're not supposed to have those types of things in your rooms. "You are more stressed than Rex is, and that's saying something. You really care for him, don't you?" 

"I do, yes." Cody just smiles up and you and holds out a mug. You take it, glad to have something in your hands. "I'm just worried about him, he's said this mission was dangerous and he might not come back." 

"Rex has had more dangerous assignments before." Cody perches himself on the edge of his desk. "Now, he's probably going to hurt me for saying this, but he really likes you too." 

You're a couple, this shouldn't be surprising, but it still makes you smile as you take a sip of tea. "Why are you telling me this?" 

"Because if you break his heart, you'll have every clone in a ten-mile radius coming for you." Oh. You expected this talk to come from Fives or Kix, maybe even Jesse, but not Cody. "And, for that matter, if he breaks your heart, you have my permission to punch him. In the face." 

"Thanks, Cody." He gestures with his mug at you. 

"You know, when we used to go out drinking, every clone tried to pick up ladies at the bar. You know who never did, though? Rex. Thought it wasn't the right thing to do, especially if the girls were drunk." Ever the gentlemen, wasn't he? "I'm happy he's found you, but I also need you to be careful with him. He's...Imagine being nervous around your first girlfriend as a teen. Now times that by ten, that's how crazy Rex is right now. He might be a captain but he's also vulnerable." 

"I'd never do anything to hurt him, I promise." The thought of that makes you sick, knowing all that Rex's been through. 

Cody taps the side of his mug with a hum, and you notice the similarities between the two. Cody is like the bigger, more mature (if that's even possible) version of Rex. You sit in silence for a minute before Cody looks up with a smile. "Want to hear an embarrassing story about him?" 

"Oh, absolutely." You share a grin and Cody launches into this story about the time Rex fell into a pit of mud, and it becomes obvious the clones are one big family. Sure, they share the same DNA, but they care for each other like brothers would. Cody dragged you away from your work to threaten you if you'd hurt him, Fives would annoy and tease the crap out of him, and Kix was there to be a shoulder to cry on. 

The clones have easily turned into your family, as well. You'd expected to make friends when you joined the Auxilary Forces, but nothing like this. Cody finishes his story with a fit of laughter and you can't help but smile, leaning back against the wall. "Well, I shouldn't keep you from your work. Don't tell Rex about this, okay?" 

"My lips are sealed." You hand him back the mug and a thought crosses your mind. "Can I ask him about the mud story?" 

"Of course." 

-

They're back. 

They're actually back. It's the middle of the night when you get Cody's transmission, and you're out of bed in a heartbeat. It took three weeks but Rex made his way back to you. Finally. You rushed down to the hangar to greet them, and when you spot Fives you instantly know something is wrong. He's stood outside of the sickbay doors, head bowed as he makes quiet conversation with another clone. He looks up when you approach, and you become very aware of how his face falls more. 

Something just had to go wrong this mission, didn't it? Every bad thought runs through your mind, praying Rex isn't behind those doors. "Fives? What's wrong?" 

"Rex, he," Fives voice breaks and your world comes crashing down around you. No. "He's hurt." Hurt is better than dead, but hurt is still terrible - hurt makes your heart break, and you feel tears come to your eyes. "Got sniped on the way back, he's in a bacta tank." 

"Will...Will he be okay?" Jesse joins Fives side, with a matching expression. 

"We don't know." How? How do they not know? "Kix is doing his best, Civ. He's in good hands." 

Your chest heaves, trying not to cry, and Fives puts a hand on your shoulder to help stabilize you. "Can I see him?" 

"I think it's best if you don't see him in the bacta tank, Civ. No one wants to see that." Tears flood your eyes and you hastily wipe them away, and Fives pull you into a hug. "It's okay, Civ, everything's going to be alright." His armour against you feels just like Rex's and you sob harder into his chest plate. "Rex is strong, he's had worse than this." 

Maker, it's like he knew. He just knew something was going to happen on this mission, so he gave you that gift as a way to always have a piece of him with you. You pull away from Fives, and for once, you're the one desperate to be in Rex's arm, desperate to make sure he's okay. You wipe at your eyes, trying not to think about if anyone saw you break down. "Please, Fives, I need to see him." 

"I...You're not going to like it." Fives gives you a pleading look, but you need to see him. Make sure he's okay. Alive.

"I don't care." Fives steps aside to let you enter the sickbay, and this time it's Kix who tries to stop you. 

"Civ, I know you love him, but I can't let you see him like this. I made a promise to Rex." You want to scream and fight but at this point, you're so drained all you can do is sit on one of the cots and try not to cry again. "You should head back to your room, Civ, I'll call you as soon as he wakes up." 

Will he? Or will you be a second priority again, because he has to go to a briefing, or back to battle? You love Rex, you do, but you can't keep doing this. Leaving, coming back, terrified of what tomorrow brings. "You promise, Kix?" 

"I promise, Civ. Trust me when I say you'll be the first person he wants to see when he wakes." You stand slowly, not wanting to leave just yet. Because the moment you return back to your room you're going to lose it, and here, you can pretend to be somewhat put together. 

"How was the mission?" Kix sighs and folds his arms. "Let me guess, classified?" You don't stop the irritation in your voice. 

"It went okay. We did what we needed to do. Now go get some rest, Civ, it's the middle of the night." You weren't sleeping anyway, too worried about Rex to even think about sleeping in the bed you share. The hallway is empty when you do leave, and you wanted Fives to be there to make a joke and walk you home but instead, you wander the halls alone. 

Your room seems so empty and dark without Rex there. 

Maker, when did you become so dependent on him? Is that what love makes you do, become so desperate without them the world seems so less bright? The thought occurs for the second time today, and you can't do this. You can't keep up this charade that you're okay with him leaving and getting hurt and coming back. 

You can't love a man who needs to be fighting wars first, loving you second. You could never leave his side, nor his heart, but you wonder if you should leave the Auxilary Forces. It's become more and more obvious the only time you see him is when he has nights off, but even then, could you do that to him? Leave? It'd break his heart even more, even if you saw him on his evenings off. 

He needed you on those night's he'd sneak out and lay in your bed and whisper sweet nothings to you. You needed him when the world didn't make sense and you needed someone to hold. You'd stay for Rex, but you wonder how long you can stay before either one of you gets hurt again or dies. 

You run yourself a hot shower and try to hide the tears that run down your cheeks.

You don't sleep when you lay in bed, instead fiddling with the shard of armour around your neck. You roll onto your side and pretend you're laying next to Rex, but it's still not the same. You wait, praying for sleep to take you, but nothing helps. You finally roll over and turn on the radio, and it's that same stupid channel Rex had it on last. 

Some love song, singing about forever, and you remember dancing with him in the dark and laughing. That gala, that first kiss, that first admission. Cyare. You didn't know you could miss someone this badly before, that another second away felt like an eternity. You leave the radio on and hum along quietly, trying not to cry. 

Day One, Rex is in the bacta tank. 

Day Two, Rex is in the bacta tank. 

The world moves equally slower and still in a blur, just waiting on Kix to call you and say you can finally come see him. You don't sleep, you don't eat, as much as Fives tries to get you to. Day Three you're wandering the halls at night, a better pastime than sleeping, and all you can hear is racket from sickbay. You know better than to enter, selfish that you only think of Rex, while others lay in the sickbay too. 

On your second round, you hear quiet fighting in the hallway and take your time approaching. At first, you don't know what you see. Kix, arguing with a patient, who's sat down right outside the door of the sickbay demanding...something. "I've had enough rest," You'd know that voice anywhere. "I need to go!" 

"You were just shot in the chest, Rex, have you forgotten you died on the transport back there?" Your heart stops, and you know why nothing was said to you. It feels like your in a trance: Rex is so close, but so far, and your feet move for you, pulling you towards him. A part of you wants to break down and cry, and another knows you have to be strong. For Rex's sake. Kix glances up and sighs, leaning back on his heels. "Wow, you must have a sixth sense or something." 

Rex looks up with a soft gasp and shoots to his feet, and you can tell from the way his face morphs into pain it _hurt_. You're quick by his side, making sure he's okay. He smells of disinfectant, but it's still Rex beside you, and it eases your heart. "Easy, easy, Rex, you're still hurt." 

You pull his arm gently over your shoulder, making sure he's stable, and Kix matches you on the other side. Rex looks down at you in shock, and his voice is hoarse when he speaks. "Wanted to come see you." 

"Rex got out of the bacta tank and marched himself out the door, I've never seen someone do that before." Kix mutters, and you help him hobble inside, a smile on your face. He's okay, he's alright, he's in your arms, and he's still a stupid captain. Kix leads you to one of the private rooms and motions towards the bunk inset in the wall. "Now sit down before you hurt yourself more." 

"But-" You both send Rex a glare and he lays down. You finally take in the damage: a new scar near his hairline and he's in need of a new bleach job, the hair almost looking grey, and you bite your tongue from making an 'old man' joke. Other than that, he looks healthy. The bacta tank would've cleared most of it up, and Kix's words from earlier come back to you. He died on the transport, and they brought him back to life. Rex died and you could've been left alone. No wonder Fives didn't want you to see him, you would've...Maker, you don't know what you would've done. "I'm fine, Kix. You took me out of the bacta, didn't you?" 

"I took you out of the bacta tank so you could get some good rest and I could monitor you better, not for you to go running down the halls." Kix tugs up Rex's sleeve and sets up an IV and you have to look away, the sight of Rex being jabbed with needles unpleasant. Rex's hand comes to rest over yours with a squeeze, and you find it funny he's the one who has to comfort you right now. 

You and Rex haven't talked yet, about everything, and you want to ask a million questions and hug him and kiss him but something holds you back. Rex needs time to rest and heal and not be smothered by you. "Well, I'm fine now." 

"No, you are not. You died." You force the word out and Rex just stares at you. "And you are not leaving this sickbay until you're fully healed, understood?" 

"But..." Rex looks more hurt by your words than his own wounds. "But I want to go home." 

"Rex, you are home." Confusion sets in and the revelation hits afterwards that he's talking about your room. Your room is home, and that's where he wants to be right now. There's where you want to be, curled up in his arms, but you know he needs to heal more than he needs you. "Cyare, you know you need to heal." 

Kix seems taken aback that you know the word and turns to fuss with something so you can talk more privately. "But I want to be with you." 

"If you think I won't be at your side for every spare second I have, you must've hit your head." Rex sits himself up with a grunt and pulls you in for a hug, still slightly damp from the bacta tank. You could break down and cry, then and there, but you don't want to make Rex feel any worse than he already is. 

"I love you so much, Civ." You look at him and see the fear sketched into his face. "I missed you so much, you have no idea." 

"You know, I think I'm the one who gets to complain about missing you, considering you got shot." You pull back and cup his cheek. "You had me worried." 

Rex closes the gap between you and kisses you. It's desperate, you both needing the satisfaction that everything is okay and he tastes like bacta, but you won't complain. He pulls away and kisses you again, and Kix fully turns his back to you. It's the first time you've really kissed like this in front of someone else, but you don't care if people see. Rex is alive and yours and you want the world to know. "I kept my promise, didn't I?" 

"Well, you almost didn't." Rex rolls his eyes and leans back down, hand finding yours again. "Now, you rest up, okay?" 

"Will you stay?" You nod, shifting to sit further on the bed. Rex gently moves his thumb over the back of your hand, and you wonder how scared he was. Rex is a strong captain and it seems almost impossible for anything to scare him - but dying, leaving everything behind, that must've been terrifying. You wish you could've been there, beside him o hold him at that moment, but being able to stay beside him now suffices. "I'm sorry for everything, Civ. I should've told you sooner or something-" 

"You're doing your duty, Rex, you have nothing to apologize about." You lean down and press a kiss to Rex's forehead, and as you pull away his hand comes up to hold onto the necklace he left you.

"You're still wearing it?" You smile softly and place your hand over his, giving it a squeeze. 

Three weeks. Three weeks you wore this around you neck, refusing to take it off, terrified that it might be the last piece of Rex you ever have. "I never took it off." Rex smiles at you and you position yourself to sit near the head of his cot, and for once he moves his head onto your lap and closes his eyes, content to have you as a pillow. "Now get some sleep, cyare. You've been through hell." 

Rex slips under quickly, and Kix joins you by his side. His doesn't say anything, just watching with a smile. Your chest heaves and you want to cry, so happy to have him back and safe, and at the same time terrified of if something were to ever happen like this again. "Did Rex teach you how to say that? Cyare?" 

"Yes, he did." Kix shoots you a small smile, and you remember when Rex first explained it. A word a husband would say to his wife. That could be you two one day. 

"He let it slip once, a while ago, when talking about you. When he was on that transport, all he did was talk about you and getting home. You kept him going, as stupid as it sounds." All he did was talk about you. All you did was think of him. Kix places a hand on your shoulder and lets out a sigh. "He, um, he had a message he wanted me to give you if he died. And while I know he didn't, I feel like you need to read it." 

He holds out the datapad and you almost don't want to read it, but your curiosity gets the better of you. 

_Dear Cyare,_

_If you're reading this, then I didn't make it out alive, and I'm so, so sorry I couldn't keep my promise to you. It's my duty as a soldier, and a captain, to put myself last, and know I died doing what I born to do._

_Clones don't really have emotions or independent feelings, but maker when I met you it felt like I was suddenly alive for the first time. You made me happy, insane, in love. I love you more than you could possibly know, and even when I'm gone, I'll still love you. You are the best thing in my life, and I thank you for it. You have made me a better man, a better soldier, and a better person than I ever thought I could be._

_When I'm gone, I want you to move on. You deserve all the stars and don't let me keep you from them. I want you to be happy, for the rest of your life, and I'm sorry I won't be by your side for the rest of it._

_We're not good at goodbyes, are we? I want to keep writing down everything I can think of, so that you'll know just how much you mean to me, but time is running out and I have to go._

_I love you, Civ, and never forget it._

_Yours, Forever,_

_Rex._


	15. Short Stuff

If there was one thing you were jealous about when it came to the clones, was that they were built like trucks. Tall, muscular, walking around you barely came up to anyone's shoulder. If you needed to lift something heavy or reach something high, you needed someone to help you. 

And it was starting to get ridiculous. "I'm sorry, Civ, this is mine now." Fives stood with his arm stretched out above you, waving around your dessert. You'd tried to jump up and get up, but it was no use, and seeing as Rex was still recovering, he's no help either. Which meant you had to climb onto the table or hurt Fives until he let it go. 

So it was option number two. You punched his shoulder and he just laughed, holding it even higher. "Fives, give it back." 

"Is that seriously the best you can do?" He taunts, and you punch him again and just end up hurting your fist, shaking it out with a curse. It wasn't liked you were trained to fight or anything, and all of the clones had protective armour on. "Wow, do you know how to punch?" 

"Well, Fives, unlike you I'm not trained to punch for a living." Fives finally lowered the jello cup and you gladly accept it, still frowning at him. 

"We need to teach you to fight or something, you couldn't hurt a cadet with that kind of punch." You roll your eyes, sitting down with a huff at your table. "Like a self-defence class." 

Jesse leans over with a smile. "With Rex around, that's all the defence she needs." 

"Still, we're letting this innocent little creature," He emphasizes his words by putting his hands on your shoulders and shaking you. "Go around completely unprotected!" 

"I can fire a blaster." You mutter, mushing around your jello. At this point, who in the galaxy couldn't fire one? "That's all I need." 

"Hand to hand combat is very important, we should set up like a training day in the exercise room." You look up at Fives with a squint. 

Because, while Fives does mean the best, he's still mischievous when he needs to be. "This is an excuse so you can see me get beat up, isn't it?" 

"Oh, absolutely." 

You thought they'd leave it at that, a running joke. What you didn't expect was for your work to be cleared and be called down the training rooms the next day. Entering, you're not happy with what you see. Jesse and Fives, conniving as ever, standing off to the side in their blacks. At least this was an excuse to beat them up, right? "Hey, Civ." 

"Hey, Rex. How're you feeling?" Rex sat off to the side with a datapad in hand, which lately he was never seen without. Even if he was injured, he could still get work done. He was back in fighting order, but he still needed more downtime to rest and help his wound heal properly. 

"Good, however, I'm not sure how I feel about you doing self-defence without me teaching you." Rex teaching you self defence seemed like equally exciting and boring, considering Rex once accidentally hit your arm while talking and apologized about it all day. 

"I'll be fine, I'm in...adequate hands." Fives grinned and waved at you, and Rex placed a hand over yours. "If I die today, can you kill Fives for me?" 

Rex barked out a laugh, leaning back. "It'd be my pleasure." 

"Alright, Civ, it's time to teach you how to defend yourself when faced with the enemy." Fives's tone is way too serious and it's hard to take him seriously as a teacher. He waves a hand at Jesse, who waves to you. "Today's enemy is Jesse," 

"Aw, man, I was hoping to finally get the chance to hit you, Fives." Fives rolls his eyes at you and steps forward, arms clasped behind his back. You can tell he's trying to be like the Jedi, and it's really not working. 

"Here's your chance - Let's see how strong you are, punch me. In the chest." He emphasizes the last part, and you wind up and punch him dead centre of the chest. He stumbles backwards a bit with the weight, but other than that, his smile doesn't fade. "Now, Civ, you can do better than that." You wind up again and hit, this time injuring yourself more than Fives and you curse. You shake out your hand and you're surprised when Fives takes it, flipping it over. "You want to make a fist, and curl your thumb over your first knuckle."

You do what he says, curling your hand into a fist. "And?" 

"The reason you want your thumb out is so that it doesn't break when you hit - bones are fragile, and punching can often hurt you more than the opponent. Next, plant your feet. You don't want your feet too close together, or I could just push you over, but you don't want it too wide or you won't be able to punch right." You move your one foot back and Fives pats your leg. "Now, angle it to the side a bit-Good, there you go. Now angle your hips away from me." 

"Like that?" You adjust yourself, feeling slightly awkward. 

"Just like that. You want to keep that space between them, makes it easier to fight. This part depends on the person, whether or not you want your shoulders turned away or squared off towards me." You roll your shoulders back, and Fives taps on your forearms. "These should be pretty much vertical, and your elbows should be tucked into your body. You want your ab muscles tight and hands up to protect your face," He shows you his stance, doing a couple of fake punches into the air. "Like that. It's important to protect your face and upper body." 

Jesse moves to take Fives spot in front of your, and Fives takes a stance beside you. "So, fist, plant your feet, arms up." 

"Good, now we're going to throw a punch. You want your arm to go out, punch Jesse, and come back to its original position. This means you have as little room as possible to be hit yourself." Fives moves your arm in a mock punch, gently tapping it against Jesse's chest. "Now, when you punch you're going to move from your hips. When you punch, I want you to pivot your back foot and push your body forward. As you push off your foot, turn your hips and move your arm straight toward the opponent." You slowly move your body and extend your arm, tapping it against Jesse's chest again. "Good, you're a quick learner, Civ. You don't want to overextend into the punch, you always want to feel in control and balanced at all times during the process."

"Maker, how many steps are there to throwing a punch?" Jesse quips, and Fives laughs. 

"I'm trying to make sure Rex doesn't kill me for hurting Civ, okay?" You glance over to see Rex watching you intently. "Now, when you hit your opponent, you want to strike with the first two knuckles, not that flat front part of your fist or the smaller knuckles on your ring or pinky fingers, that's how you shatter bones." Fives taps your fist. "Now, put it all together." 

You realign yourself and move your stance apart, closing your fist and bracing yourself. You hit Jesse and he stumbles with a grunt, hand going up to where you hit him on the chest. "Kriffing hell!" You gasp and double over, grabbing your first with a string of curses. You'd equally hurt Jesse and yourself, and now you know why so many steps go into throwing a punch. 

Rex is at your side in an instant, checking you over, almost panicking. "Is anything broken, Civ?" 

"No, no, just hurts like-" You cut yourself off before you curse again. Rex takes your hand in is, looking it over and you glance up at Fives. "Is it always going to hurt?" 

"You get used to it. On the bright side, I'd say that was a pretty good punch. Jesse?" You glance up to see Jesse rubbing over the spot on his chest. 

"I thought you said she was weak." You grin, and Rex jogs off suddenly. "But that's just a punch, Fives, that won't protect her from everything." 

Rex returns with a roll of tape and takes your fist in hand, wrapping it tightly. You look down in confusion and back up to him. "What's that for?" 

"It'll help protect your hand more, we don't use it often." Rex winds more tape around before ripping it. "That should help with the pain. Do we have gloves or anything she can use?" 

"Rex, she needs to learn before we can give her gloves. She's going to get hurt in the process." Rex scowls at Jesse, and you find it sweet how quick he is to protect you, even if it's just an exercise. You kiss his cheek, and his scowl melts away. 

"I'm good, Rex, I promise." He sighs and moves back to his seat, and you turn back to Fives and Jesse. "What next?" 

-

You and Jesse were laid, side by side, on the padded floor. Fives had just run you through a self-defence master course in the span of an afternoon, and it was taking a toll on your body. Jesse, on the other hand, just got beat up repeatedly by both you and Fives and wasn't too happy about it. "Remind me to never do this again." 

"Agreed." Rex and Fives peer over you, matching smiles on their faces. "Can we call it a day? Please?" 

"Fine, only because you did well for your first day." Fives holds a hand out for you to take, and as you extend your arm you groan and let it fall back onto the ground. "Come on, short stuff, it wasn't that bad." 

"You've made a grave mistake, Fives, because you've just taught me how to fight back." You give one swift kick to Fives ankle and his leg gives out, Rex grabbing his arm to keep him from falling. You and Jesse laugh in unison as Fives swears at you, rubbing his shin. "That's what you get for calling me short stuff." 

You slowly sit up and Rex drops a water bottle into your lap and you chug the whole thing. Jesse gets up as well, moving over to the pile of armour by the door. "You know, if you ever need a sparring partner Civ, I'd be more than happy to volunteer." 

"I don't think I'm going to take you up on that offer, but thanks." You reply as Rex helps you to your feet, and all you want is to go back to your room and shower. 

"Well, Civ, you've officially passed the 501st Self Defense class, how do you feel?" Fives beams at you as he speaks, and you can tell he's proud with himself. He, strangely enough, was actually a good teacher. 

"Good and bad at the same time." Like you've just been beaten up, but also satisfied. It was somewhat fun, learning how to beat someone up. But it hurt. A lot. "Now, I'm heading back to my quarters, I need a shower." Rex follows you out, and you adjust your pace to accommodate him. He likes to pretend he's fine, but he still limps a small bit when he walks too fast. "So, how did I actually do?" 

Rex grinned at you, and you felt a swell of pride. "Really good, actually. Believe it or not, Fives is somehow a good teacher." 

"I'm going to regret this tomorrow." You groan as you rub your neck and Rex snorts out a laugh as you enter your room. 

"Oh yeah, you're going to feel like osik." You peel off your jumpsuit, and like always, Rex looks away. When he finally does look back over, he lets out a long sigh, taking in the bruises that now litter your body. "Civ, how badly did you get hurt?" 

"I honestly don't know." Rex runs a finger over a bruise on your upper arm with a frown. "Now, I'm going to go shower, I probably stink." 

Rex laughs and pulls you into his arms, leaning down to kiss you. "You want to know something?" 

"What?" His arms tighten around you and he nips at your bottom lip. 

"That was really hot, watching you take down Jesse today." You laugh, pulling away from him and Rex blushes. 

"Well, I'm glad one of us had fun today." 

-

Rex wasn't kidding when he said you'd feel bad later - It wasn't even a full day later, just laying in bed at night hurt, Rex passed out beside you. You turn to watch the clock and groan, something pulling in your neck. Rex's arm tightens around your side and he mutters something into your pillow, and you wonder if you could sneak into sickbay to get an icepack or something. 

"You alright?" Rex's voice makes you jump, two octaves deeper having just woken up. 

"Just sore, that's all." Rex sat up with a yawn, and you feel bad for accidentally waking him. "You can go back to sleep-" 

"No, you're in pain. Flip over." You give Rex a confused look, and he just pokes your side and you move over to lay on your stomach. Rex's hands move to your shoulders, and you wonder what he's doing. He presses his thumb into a knot and you feel the muscle jump. You groan into your pillow as Rex works across your shoulders, relieving the tension there. You wonder, vaguely, if he's done this before because right now it feels like that's what his hands were meant to do.

You could fall asleep to this, Rex carefully massaging the knots out of your shoulders. "This feels amazing, Rex."

"I'm glad to help." His hands move your shoulders, and you open your mouth to complain when they drift lower, massaging your back. His fingers trail over a bruise, gentle, and you startle when he presses a kiss to your shoulder blade. "They should've gone easier on you today, cyare." 

"I needed to learn somehow." He goes back to massaging your shoulders, and you're in heaven. 

"Well, they could've gone without hurting you much - you're so tense, I'm surprised you're not one big knot." Something pops and you groan, Rex's hands instantly stilling over you. "D-Did that hurt you?" 

"No, no it's fine." He worries too much, but you get why. You hate seeing Rex get hurt, but him in battle is where Rex thrives the most-taking down droids, kicking ass, being a hero. You weren't cut out for that by any means. "I don't get how you can do that every day." 

"Well, we usually fight with blasters, not our fists." You turn to give him a skeptical look, knowing very well Rex likes to make things more complicated for himself. "What, it's not often you get into fistfights with droids. Besides, we're meant for this stuff - I can take a punch or two, you can't." 

Rex moves from above you to lay beside you, and you couldn't move if you wanted to, melted into the pillow. "Still, it hurts." 

"That's what Kix is for." Rex moves his hand to your back, idly tracing random patterns into your skin, careful not to touch any bruises. The motion makes you yawn, almost putting you back to sleep. You catch yourself dreaming about how domestic it feels, the contrast between normal, rough Rex and how soft he is around you. "Now, you've had a long day, get some sleep." 

"What do you think is going to happen after the war, Rex?" You don't mean for the question to slip out, but in your half-asleep function, you can't help but ask. 

"What do you mean?" You shift to face him, moving yourself closer to his chest. 

What do you mean? What's going to happen when everything's over? Will he still be by your side, in bed? "What's going to happen to us?" 

"Well, I don't know." His eyes don't meet yours. "I'll probably be put on temple guard, or maybe just act a soldier when they need me to. Maybe they won't need me at all." He's avoiding the question, and you don't blame him.

"I think I'd like to become a mechanic." Rex looks back up at you, lost in your words. "Fix up speeders, ships, you'd make a good income here. We could get an apartment." We. We could get an apartment. You could start a family with Rex. Get married. You know it's stupid tot think so far ahead, to a 'what if' that may never happen, but you could still dream.

Rex's hands trail up your arms. "You know, I've always wanted to travel to Naboo. The general says it's very pretty there." It's no wonder, considering Senator Amidala is from there. (Rex is terrible at keeping secrets.) "Or, we could just fly around and visit everywhere." 

"Well, not everywhere." Rex gives you a confusing look. "No ice planets, please." 

"Whatever you say, Civ." Rex laughs and you feel his chest shake against you. You fall into silence again, and a pensive look crosses over Rex's face. "Why do you ask?" 

"I'm worried. About you, and me, and getting hurt." The image of Rex, dying on that transport, haunts you. "I want a future with you Rex, not just a dream for when the war is over." 

Rex's hand cups your face. "What are you saying?" 

"I don't know." What are you saying? That you're afraid of your future? That you want something more with Rex? "I guess...I guess I want to stop being afraid all the time that one day you're going to go on a mission and never come back to me." 

"I will always make it back to you, cyare." You look at him and softly smile. 

"But what happens if you don't? You said 'When I'm gone, I want you to move on. You deserve all the stars and don't let me keep you from them. I want you to be happy, for the rest of your life, and I'm sorry I won't be by your side for the rest of it.' Rex, I don't want to have to picture another future without you in it." You realize what you've said too late: That Rex knows you read his note, that he left on his deathbed. 

He stiffens, propping himself up on his elbow. "Civ, how did you..." He sighs and cups your cheek, staring at you intensely. "I don't want a future without you either, but there's some things that have to come first. I don't get to choose when I live or die, or what missions I'm sent on, or what I get to do. But I do get to choose my path, and I choose you. I promise you that." You lay in silence for a moment, before reaching up and kissing him. 

You want to believe him, so so badly. You keep making promises you both can't keep, but neither of you can stop. Not when stopping means losing what matters most, and not when stopping means you have to finally let go. "Will you stay with me?" Rex leans his forehead against yours. 

"Forever and always, cyare." 


	16. Little Thief

You're going to blame your cold on Rex, or the 501st, maybe the Republic, maybe even this whole war in general. 

"Why is it, whenever we're sent anywhere, the weather hates us?" Rex had laughed at your whining, but he was decked out with proper winter gear - he even had a different helmet for it! You were on some ice planet in the middle of nowhere and you felt like you were freezing to death despite the many layers you wore. It was always raining or snowing or so damn hot you burned to death. 

"I think you're just a bad luck charm, it's fine when you're back on the ship." You shoved him as you stumbled through the snow, wondering how you got yourself into these situations. It was a small mission - repairs to an old base to help capture the planet. You technically weren't even here. It was the first mission Rex had been on since his incident, and you can tell he was more than excited to get back to work while you were freezing to death. 

Being a stealth mission, it was only a handful of clones and you. Which, while a nice break from the hectic battles, it was still gruelling in its own way. For starters, no ships, so you were walking in knee-deep snow. It might as well have been a blizzard, you couldn't see anything more than a foot in front of you. Occasionally Rex would have to pull you to the side to keep you from walking into a rock or other debris. 

You'd spent so many days stuck on that snow planet, that coming back to the Resolute, Kix warned everyone that they might get sick. And, considering you were the only one without a super-soldier immune system, of course, you were the only one who got sick. 

"How're you feeling?" Rex asked and you poked your head out of your blankets, a glare on your face. "What! I'm trying to help, Civ." 

"I-" Your voice is hoarse and you cough, the noise-making Rex's face scrunch up. "I feel like garbage, Rex, what do you expect?" 

"Can I help with anything?" Truth be told, no. There wasn't anything Rex could do besides keep you company to help. He was always worrying, which was sweet, but anytime you told him 'no' he found something to do and went above and beyond.

So, you just stick your arms out and pull Rex in for a hug. Your voice is muffled then you speak into his chest. "You know, this isn't fair, you should all be sick too." 

"I'm used to the cold, Civ." You look up at him with a glare. That's a lie if you ever heard it, it was rare he ever got sent out to ice planets. "Hey, look at it this way, you get a day off work." 

"I'm in pain, Rex, there's no plus side." You sneeze and Rex shifts to the side of the bed, pulling you down to lay on your side. 

"I mean, you get to lay here with me." He adds and you roll over to face him with a smile. 

"I still don't see that as a plus side." Rex makes a face at you as you giggle into his chest, pulling the blankets tighter around yourself. 

Rex slips his arms around you, gently rubbing your back. "You know, I'm not going to be offended by that because you're sick, but you're on thin ice here, Civ." 

"At least you're warm." Your body still felt like ice, despite being wrapped in three blankets and curled into Rex's side. "You know, next time we go on a trip, I'm sticking to my no ice planet policy." 

"Come on, tell me hitting Fives with a snowball wasn't fun." Rex expects a laugh or something from his joke but you don't respond. He glances down at you to find you passed out, and he smiles as he tucks some hair away from your face. 

He hated seeing you in pain like this because he knew there was nothing he could do. When Fives taught you self defense, he could give you bandages or an ice pack, but now? Now he's useless, despite berating Kix into telling him everything about helping with a cold. 

He settles further into bed, knowing he'll have to leave you soon. Maybe he can stick a note to the pillow explaining he got called for work, he hated leaving you without telling, but he didn't have the heart to wake you up. He didn't know the exact point when your room became his, but he'd say maybe after Zygerria, or maybe after the whole Buddy incident. Since then, he hasn't wanted to leave your side for a moment. 

He's heard the rumour that the Auxilary Forces are being pulled out, since the bills been passed to create more clones, and the thought terrifies him more than he should. What if he needs you? What if he has another nightmare, a dream where you die, and he can't just run to you and make sure you're okay? 

Watching you sleep is always so peaceful, but being so pale he remembers seeing you in the sickbay after that explosion and he starts to worry again. He supposes, if the Auxilary Forces are removed, you wouldn't be in the line of fire again. Knowing how he felt, seeing you in the sickbay with a minor injury, he wonders how bad he made you feel when he got shot. 

You'd quoted his goodbye letter to him, and he wonders if someone accidentally gave it to you. Did you think he was really gone? That he died? He hates the pain he probably put you through. He hates a lot of things, to be quite honest, especially saying goodbye. So, he presses a kiss to your forehead and slips from your bed, scribbling a quick note and placing it beside your pillow, taking another moment to watch you sleep in peace before leaving. 

-

You wake up alone, again, and by now you should expect it. There's a note beside you, explaining he has work, and you grumble and toss it to the side. You still felt terrible, and no amount of blankets or cough syrup was going to change that. You finally get out of bed and rifle through your desk, knowing you have a spare communicator somewhere to contact Rex. 

"Civ? What're you doing on this line?" Rex's voice is a bit garbled, but you know it's just static. 

"What time do you get off work?" Your throat feels like it's filled with shards of glass, and you remind yourself to pick up soup or something warm from the mess hall. Rex sighs, and you knew his answer before he even spoke. 

"I'm going to be out all day, cyare, I'm sorry." You fall back onto your bed and groan. Rex has more important things than to cuddle you when you're sick, obviously, but you still want him by your side. "I can have Kix or someone swing by-"

"No, no it's fine." The last thing you want is another worried clone circling around you. "Call me when you get back, okay?" 

There are quick spikes of static that cut into Rex's reply, but you assume it's something along the lines of 'yes'. Laying in bed, bored, you wonder what you did before Rex when you were bored. You'd watch a video on the holonet, or call a friend, read a book, walk around. Your schedule has so quickly adapted to Rex's it's strange. 

There's a part of you that hates how dependent you've grown on Rex. He can now very well be considered your weakness, that if anything were to happen to him you'd go crazy, but you suppose that's just love. You love Rex, even if he can be annoying or worries too much. 

You finally get out of bed and change into a jumpsuit, hoping to find work somewhere. Turning, you catch a glint of something on your desk and find Rex's datapad. Normally you'd just wait until you see him next, but you wanted to do something today, so you'd deliver it yourself. You might've been on the Resolute for awhile now, but you can still manage to get lost, and considering you've only been to the barracks once, it takes a while to find it. 

The barracks are completely empty, everyone off fighting wars without you. You punch in the code to Rex's room, one of the few codes you know off the top of your head without even visiting him often (7657, his clone trooper code backwards). You set the datapad down on his desk and find an extra set of blacks laid out beside it, neatly folded and not yet put away. 

You run a hand over the worn fabric and look around Rex's room. It truly is blank, no pictures, no special touches, nothing. Cody had a heating pad in his, for tea, some of the clones hung up posters and pictures, but Rex didn't. In your room, there's plenty of photos on the walls, of you, family, friends, and Rex. 

He needed something special, something to make his room more his. Maybe you could get some photos of his friends, or maybe a poster, even just to paint the walls a different colour. Something to make this room less of a cell and more of a homey place. 

You feel a headache start, and you should really be back in your room, under the covers. You glance back down at Rex's blacks, a small smile on your face, and bundle it under your arm. 

-

Rex felt bad. No, scratch that, terrible. He asked for you to join them on the mission and you got sick and he felt absolutely terrible. Duty calls first, however, and he can't even be by your side. Maybe he should pick up flowers again, or maybe he should bring you soup, or go back to Kix and ask for anything else that could help. 

It's late when he gets back, and he doesn't have the heart to call you and accidentally wake you. It'd been just a day mission, a quick recon for the formal assault, and he's glad you weren't working today. You need rest and lots of water. That's what he can do, pick up a water bottle on his way to your room. He punches in the code, knowing it off the top of his head from visiting so often, and what he sees melts his heart. You're curled up, watching some holomovie, in his blacks. 

He blinks for a second, wondering where you possibly could've gotten them, but the way it hangs off of you, giant, erases those thoughts away. "Hello, cyare." 

"Rex!" You're so happy to see him it makes his heart melt, but your voice makes him feel bad again. "You're back." 

"And you should be asleep." Rex pulls off his helmet and sets it on your desk, sitting himself down on the edge of your bed. "Are you wearing my blacks?" 

"Maybe. I-" You cut your sentence off with a sneeze, and Rex pulls a box of tissues over to you. You wipe your nose and toss the tissue to the trashcan, missing it by a long shot. "Thanks. I returned your datapad and I saw it and I stole it." 

Rex presses a kiss to your forehead with a smile. "Little thief." 

"Hey, I'm sick, I'm allowed to do whatever I want." Rex's blacks are insanely comfortable, or maybe it's just the fact they smell like him that comforts you. "How was today?" 

"Boring, like always." It's hard to call a war boring, but at this point, it's the same thing day-in and day-out. Rex tugs off his boots and starts to work on his armour, and he feels your hands easily undo the clasps to his shoulder pads. He remembers teaching you how to undo them properly, how much you fumbled, and now it's like second nature for you. "How are you feeling?" 

"Like my heads about to explode." Rex twists around to press a hand to your forehead and hums. "Do I have a fever?" 

Rex shakes his head and pulls off the last of his armour, slipping into bed beside you. "No, you're always hot." You laugh and smack his arm, and he snakes it under you to pull you closer. "What? It's the truth. And no, you don't have a fever." 

"Yay me." You cough into your arm and Rex's hand gently rubs up and down your back.

"Have you been drinking enough water?" You nod against his chest and feel your head pound. "You sure?" 

Rex holds out a water bottle he seemingly got out of nowhere and you gladly take it, and Rex puts his hand over the top before you can drink it. "What?" 

"Small sips, I don't want you getting sick-sick on me." You take a small sip and Rex continues to rub your back, a claiming motion that could easily put you to sleep. You hand the water bottle back to Rex and he sets it aside, pressing a kiss to the top of your forehead. "Let's get you off to bed." 

"Not sleepy," You yawn and Rex chuckles, moving so that your head rests on his chest, and his hand drifts upwards to play with your hair. 

"Whatever you say, Civ. What'd you do today?" You can feel Rex's heartbeat against your head and you smile as it beats rapidly, knowing he's still nervous to have you in his arms.

What did you do today? Nothing important. Stole Rex's black, watched an insane amount of tv, felt like death. "Nothing." 

"Nothing at all?" Rex mutters, pressing another kiss to your head. 

"I did sneak into your room, but that doesn't count." You smile at the thought of sneaking into Rex's room at night, knowing he'd be absolutely mortified. Then again, he doesn't spend much time in his own room nowadays. "You need to decorate your room." 

"It's regulation, cyare, we're not supposed to have personal belongings there." You know for a fact no one follows that rule. 

You glance up at him with a soft glare. "We both know that's stupid, I mean look at Cody! He's got his own little kitchen in his room." 

"Why were you in Cody's room?" Rex tries to keep his voice calm, but you can tell he's either upset or confused. 

"He gave me a nice long talk about that if I ever broke your heart he'd break my neck." Rex's face morphs into shock, and his arms tighten around you. 

"I'm so sorry, cyare, Cody is-" You poke his side and cut him off. 

"Cody also gave me permission to punch you, so it's all good." You add and Rex snorts out a soft laugh. "But seriously, we need to paint the walls or add some pictures or something, Rex, it's basically a cell!" 

You fall into another coughing fit and Rex goes back to play with your hair, trying to comfort you. "I don't spend much time in my own room, I don't mind." 

"I know, but still. You need your own space." Rex smiles at your comment and gestures around. 

"You know, I'd consider this my space. Our space, more specifically-" You sneeze, cutting Rex off and end up bashing your forehead into his side. You laugh and press a hand to your forehead, and you feel Rex's chest shake in a silent laugh under you. "You're a hazard to yourself, cyare." 

"You're the one whose supposed to be protecting me." You mutter into his side, sinking further into bed. 

"How can I protect you from yourself?" You shrug with a yawn, and Rex shifts onto his side, and you're face to face. You're afraid that you might sneeze on him, but he pull you in for a kiss anyway. 

You pull away with a frown, knowing that while Rex might have an amazing immune system, he could still get sick. "You're going to catch my cold." 

"Gives me an excuse to lay in bed with you longer." He yawns and tucks you against his chest, resting his forehead on top of yours. "Now lets go to bed, cyare." 

"Goodnight, Rex." Rex's hand slips under your shit to rest on your hip, gently running his thumb in circles. 

"Goodnight, Civ." Rex falls asleep soon after, safe in your arms, but despite how tired you are you stay awake a moment more just to be in Rex's arms. 


	17. We're Not Good at Goodbyes: Part Two

'Termination of Service:

Due to the Republic Military Enhancement Bill, all Republic Auxilary Force members are no longer in active service. We thank you for your service and commitment to the Republic. Transportation and Accommodations have been prepared for your departure date;'

You force yourself to stop reading the paper stuck to your door, ripping it off to stare at the headline again. Termination of Service. You scan through, trying to find your departure date, and your heart sinks into your stomach. This evening. You were leaving the 501st, this evening, with nothing more than a flyer thanking you for your service. 

You need to find Rex, or Fives, or Kix, someone who can explain this. It's your last day, apparently, and you're being shipped off elsewhere. You'd think you would've got some warning, anything, to let you know that this was coming. It's your last day. 

Rex. Today's your last day with Rex. Well, not last, but you know leaving means you won't see him until his downtime, and more and more often it's rare to come by. You don't even get one last night together, and you fight back your tears as you storm your way through the base. You press your comms and wait, trying to figure out where Rex is. 

He doesn't answer you, probably stuck in some meeting or another. Your world is collapsing around you, everything you've fought and worked for, gone. Who can you go to? Fives and Rex are in meetings, Cody's off somewhere, all you have left is Kix. You march into sickbay, and as soon as Kix sees you, he knows something is wrong. "Civ? What are you doing-" 

"Did you know?" You shove the paper at him and he scans over it quickly, and you watch his face darken. If anyone knew and didn't tell you...Maker, you don't know what you'd do to them. "Tell me, Kix, did you know?" 

"No, Civ, I swear. No one knew." He reads further and glances up with a small gasp. "Tonight?" 

"I don't even have 24 hours to prepare to leave." You sit on a cot, head in your hands. What are you going to do? What can you say to Rex to make this all okay? "I can't even say goodbye to everyone, I won't have time." 

Kix sits down next to you, hesitant, and wraps an arm around you. "Well, think of it this way. You won't have to fix any more speeders." 

"That's a plus side." You wipe away a stray tear with a laugh. "What the hell am I going to do, Kix?" 

"Whatever you want. You get to do whatever, Civ." Whatever is an awful lot to wrap your head around. Whatever. Find a new job, a new home, leave this all behind. You'd only been with the Auxilary Forces for a year or two, moving around, fixing things, but it seems like a lifetime ago you were back home doing nothing. 

You remember your talk with Rex, about your future. Maybe you would become a mechanic, maybe you'd take whoever would hire you. You lean into Kix's side with a sigh. "I don't want to have to say goodbye." 

"You know you'll see us all again," His tone says otherwise. You know that leaving the clones, bred to die for the Republic, you might never see them again. This could be the last time you sit in the sickbay with Kix, talking about anything. 

"But what if I don't?" You whisper, and Kix's eyes don't meet yours. 

"Then we'll all go for drinks in the afterlife." You laugh through the pain, bumping Kix's shoulder with yours. "Have you told Rex yet?" 

You haven't even been able to contact him. "No. He's busy doing whatever it is he does." 

"He's likely in a briefing, I'll see if I can get through to him." Kix moves from the cot and goes over to his screen, typing away something. You wait in silence, and Kix looks back with a sigh. You know what he's going to say before he says it. "He's unavailable." 

"Gods, the one time I need to talk to him!" You get up off the cot and stand awkwardly for a moment, torn between staying and going to pack. "Can you tell me if he ever gets through to you?" 

"Of course. We're going to miss you, kih'vod." You look up in confusion at the Mando'a, never getting a good grasp of it besides a few words. "It means little sister." 

Your feet move before you can even think and you throw yourself at Kix, wrapping him in the biggest hug you can. Kix stumbles a bit with a force and then wraps his arms around you. "I'm going to miss you all so much."   
"We'll always be here if you need us." It's an empty promise, but it still makes you feel better. You don't want to pull away, but the clock is ticking, and you try not to cry as you walk down the hall back to your room. 

-

"Civ's leaving?" Fives is holding some paper in his hand, and Rex snatches it away with a huff. It's probably some transfer for a mission or whatnot, having to run through the generals first. Instead, he reads the first line and almost faints. 'Termination of Service'. 

No. 

_No._

They'd just been rumours, replacing the Auxilary Forces with clones, but he never expected it to be like this. You'd commed him earlier, and he'd assumed it was nothing. Now, he feels his heart wrenched out. He doesn't even get one last night with you. No more late-night rendevous, no more comfort from nightmares, dance sessions, nothing. 

You leave tonight and he can't do anything about it. "This-Why wouldn't we have been told sooner?" 

"We're not in charge of her, so I guess we didn't really need to know," Fives says as he runs a hand over his hair. "If we'd known sooner, we could've thrown her a farewell party or something." 

If Rex had known sooner, he would've held onto you a little tighter. "I need to find her." 

"She's probably in her room, packing." Rex and Fives get up at the same time, and Rex gives him a strange look. "If you don't mind, I'd also like to say goodbye." 

"Oh, right. Just..." He shouldn't be selfish. He knows Fives and you were close, and that you'll want to say goodbye, but he also wants as much time as he can with you. 

"Just give you two some privacy, got it, now let's go before we get roped into another briefing." Maker, what is he going to do? Visit on his downtime isn't enough, not by a long shot. Maybe he can video call you, that might work. The thought of spending all his nights in his room, alone, really makes him wish he took you up on that offer to decorate his room. 

You'd already packed all your clothes, and the pictures were gone from the walls. Rex could remember each and every one and where they were placed - his favourite was of you, a couple of years ago, smiling under the stars. He spotted a flash of blue as you moved one of your bags, and he knows it's that dress you wore to the bar with him. 

So many memories, so many thoughts, so much love all bundled into one little room. "Rex, I have to talk to you-" 

"I already know." He tried to keep his voice steady, but he was a minute away from breaking. "I...I don't know what to do." 

You reach out and take his hand which he didn't know had been shaking. You're always the one to steady it, and he doesn't know how long he can last without you by his side. "It's not the end, Rex. Just...Goodbye, for a little while." 

"We're not good at goodbyes, Civ." You share a moment, just looking at each other and letting it set in that this is really happening. No, it's not the end of him and you, but it's the end of nights by each others side, shared glances across the mess hall and secret meetings. Fives stand off to the side, giving you both some space, and you notice him for the first time. 

"Well, Fives, you don't have to put up with me anymore," You joke, but Fives doesn't laugh, instead taking you from Rex and pulling you into a hug. You hug back tight, and you try to remember what Mando'a is for family. Because, as stupid as it sounds, that's what you are. You're as close as family, and you never want to let go. 

"I'm going to miss you, Civvie." His voice shakes slightly and you want to cry. "Now who am I going to annoy?" 

You pull away with a soft laugh and wipe away a tear. "I'm sure there's plenty of people here you can annoy, Fives." 

"Ah, it won't be the same." There's such sincerity in his voice you wonder when Fives grew up. 

"I'm going to miss you, Vod." You'd heard the other clones say it, and it means brother. Fives tries to hide the fact his eyes water slightly and he pulls you into another hug. This very well could be the last time you see Fives and it breaks your heart. 

"Don't pull mando'a on me, you'll make me all emotional." You laugh against his chest plate. "This is goodbye, Civvie. Stay safe, alright?" 

"You're the one who needs to stay safe." You pull away for the last time and collect yourself. "Bye, Fives." 

Fives waves a hand with a smile. "You be good to Rex, alright? He needs you more than I do." You both stand in silence as Fives leaves, and as soon as the door is closed Rex is cupping your face and kissing you. 

You wrap your arms around his neck and hold him, and there's a part of you that wonders if this is. This could be the end of you and Rex, and it makes you hold onto him tighter. Rex pulls away slowly, and for the second time, you see him cry. "Hey, Rex, it's alright." You reach up and wipe the tears away with your thumb. "I'm just going away for a little bit, you'll still see me." 

"I can't let you go, cyare. I-I-" His hands shake as they settle on your waist. "I just want more time." 

"We still have plenty of time. Everything is going to be okay, I promise you, Rex." His eyes don't meet yours as you speak. 

Rex was right, you guys never were good at goodbyes - leaving Rex is going to tear you apart. "But what if it's not? What if you need me and I can't be there for you?" 

"Then I'll use Fives self-defense lesson and beat up all the bad guys," You wipe away more of his tears as he laughs. "I don't like this any more than you do, Rex, but there's nothing we can do." 

"You'll still call, right?" Rex's voice is barely above a whisper when he asks, and you cradle his face in your hands. 

"Whenever you want me, I'll be a commlink away." Rex kisses you again, and this time, neither of you pull away. You do want to think about what the future holds, or what's going to happen to Rex, you just want to stand here and never let go. 

Rex's comms go off, calling him to another briefing, and it's time to finally say goodbye. Neither of you has the heart to say it, so you stand and stare for a moment. "I guess...If I don't see you later, I guess this is farewell." 

"Stay safe, Rex, and keep your promise." Rex holds you for a moment more and leans his forehead against yours. 

"Nothing can keep me from you, cyare. Call me when you can, okay?" You watch Rex leave, shattering your heart, and as soon as the door is closed, you sob. You can't let Rex see you cry, not now, and you sit down on your bed and you chest heaves. 

You cry for Rex, for the 501st, for what could have been. You don't know why your cry so hard, only being with the Auxilary Forces a couple years. It's hard to imagine a life without the war, without Rex, and that's what scares you the most - What will your life become without the war? 

Looking around, you'd normally have the photos on your walls to comfort you. Now, they're packed away, and you shift through the photos as your hands shake. Training with Luca, family back home, a photo of you and the boys. There's a photo Fives took, of you and Rex dancing at the Senate event that you'd kept hidden away, just to yourself, and you trace a finger over Rex.

You're so worried about him, with you gone. What will he do? Go back to never sleeping, haunted by his own demons? No one will be there to comfort him when he needs it, and no one will be there to fuss when he swears he doesn't need help. Stuck in his cell of a room. You pull the photo of you dancing from your bag, and walk towards the barracks. 

It's empty like it always is, and you find Rex's room. You set the photo on his desk, and write a quick note. 

_'To Rex - Here's something to remind you of me. Love, Civ.'_

-

It seems like the weather knew today wasn't a day for the sun to shine, and as you wait on the platform outside of the base, it pours. You laugh to yourself, truly cursed by the weather, and you're glad you wore a robe to wait for your shuttle. 

You hadn't seen or heard from Rex since he left, and you think it's for the best. Leave things as they are, and it won't hurt as much. It still does, waiting on this platform alone. The clock ticks down and your nerves spiral, too many thoughts and emotions inside you at once. You'd been forced to leave you GAR issued comms, meaning the only thing you have is your comm Rex got you awhile back. You never got to say goodbye to Cody, and you wish you had more time. 

Another shuttle arrives, dropping people off, and you wait with bated breath for them to call out your number, but they don't, flying off to their next customer. Glancing at the clock, it's a minute until your departure time. 

Rex isn't coming to say goodbye. Maybe he agrees with you, that it's best to leave things the way they were. A shuttle pulls up and calls out your number, and you pick up your bag and take one last look at the base. There's so many memories, so many stories, and so many goodbyes you wish you could say. You turn back towards the shuttle and hear a voice call out to you. "CIV!" 

You turn to see Rex sprint across the platform, and you can't help but smile. His footsteps echo in the rain, and as he gets closer, he rips off his helmet and pulls you into a deep kiss, hands tight against your waist, as if holding onto you for dear life. You let your bag slip from your grip and you kiss him back, and the platform and shuttle fade away. For right now, you can pretend everything is normal, like kissing Rex in the rain. His grip around you is tighter than ever, and you can tell he's desperate to have you in his arms one last time, like if he were to let go, you'd disappear forever. 

You both pull away with a gasp, and your hood slips off your head. With the rain, your hair plasters to your forehead, and Rex tucks your hair behind your ear with a smile. "Shouldn't you in a briefing?" 

"I needed to see you off, and tell you I love you." He's getting soaked, but you know he doesn't care. "I love you, cyare, and if something were to happen to me-" If he says the words aloud, you don't know if you can keep back the tears. 

"Rex, don't-" He cuts you off with a wave of his hand. 

"If something were to happen to me, I want you to know I love you, and you're the best thing in my life." This time you tug him into a kiss, and you're the one desperate to be held, desperate to be loved. You finally let the tears go, and you hope the rain hides them. Rex wipes them away, a futile attempt, and cups your cheek. "We've been through worse, Civ, we'll...we'll make do." 

"I don't want to have to let you go." You don't want to bear the thought that this could be goodbye. This time, there's no sickbay meetings, or rushed voice calls. No, this time, he could be gone forever, and you'll never even get the chance to mourn him. 

Rex smiles at you, through the pain and the tears, and it almost makes you believe everything will be okay. "This isn't the end of us, cyare. It's just goodbye for a little while." 

"You better keep your promise." You slowly pull away from Rex and pick up your bag, heart hammering in your chest. 

"And you better keep yours, alright?" With one last kiss, you leave Rex in the rain and pray to any god that will listen to keep him safe. 

Long after you'd driven off, Rex still stood in the rain, staring out after you, wondering what he did to deserve you. You helped him sleep, didn't care about his rank or the stupid rules, and loved him more than he could ever love himself. You'd make him dance, even when he couldn't, and patched up his wounds without hesitation. 

You'd left a picture on his desk, one he never even knew existed, and he'd keep it with him forever - He kept it tucked in chest plate, whenever he needed to see your face and remember what home felt like. 


	18. Dreaming of Sunsets

Rex was happier than he'd been in a long, long time. The other clones picked up on it fairly quickly, and it was obvious why - Tonight was the first night, in a few weeks, they'd been granted downtime. Tonight, he was going to pick up flowers, maybe something to eat, and surprise you at your new apartment building. 

For all you knew, he was still on some far off planet, and while he didn't like lying, he couldn't help but picture the happy surprise on your face. You'd moved into a small apartment on one of the upper levels and were signed on to be some mechanic for some company, and Rex wasn't surprised; You were one of the best workers he knew. "So, date night tonight?" He reached out and smacked Fives arm with a scowl, but couldn't be angry for too long. "What? Can't I tease you about your little lady friend?" 

"Rex has a lady friend?" Rex flushed bright red as Anakin approached, grin plain on his face. "When did this happen?" 

"Oh, this has been going on for a while." Rex tries to make Fives stop talking, Fives just continues as he sprints around the barracks. "She was our civilian engineer!" 

"You never told me you were seeing someone, Rex." Rex finally stops chasing Fives and sighs. Ever since you'd left, there was no longer a worry of Rex breaking any rules by being a higher rank with you - Now, everyone pretty much knew. Even if it still made Rex embarrassed to hear the General talk about his love life. 

"It, um, didn't seem important to ever bring up, sir." He knew he was lying to himself - You were one of the most important things in his life, but even that didn't make him want to talk about it to the general. 

Fives throws an arm around his shoulder with a grin. "So, what do you have planned for tonight?" 

"I'm going to bring her flowers," Rex admits quietly, and he swears Anakin's smile grows wider. "And maybe pick up dinner." 

"You know what you should do? Dress up in the suit from the senate gala thing, you'd blow her mind." Fives says and makes a small explosion noise, moving his hand from the side of his head. "Oh, you should totally recreate that photo of you two!" 

"What photo?" Rex pulls the photo from his chest plate, now worn and torn at the edges, and awkwardly holds it out. Anakin unfolds it and laughs, looking up at him. "This is you? Dancing? What the hell have I missed?" 

Rex takes the photo and tucks it away, right over his heart, and blushes deeper. "Love makes people do crazy things, general." Fives adds, and Anakin and Rex share a look. 

"Well, I wouldn't want to keep you from her. Go have some fun, boys." Anakin places a hand on Rex's shoulder and winks. "But not too much fun, eh Rex?" Rex could've died from embarrassment then and there. 

-

You missed Rex more than you cared to admit. His warmth at night, his lips against your, his dry humour and deep voice. It was only a couple of weeks, but it felt like an eternity. You'd been hired on to be a mechanic, had a nice little apartment on the upper levels, and in general, everything was okay. 

Okay didn't stop you for waiting up all night to see if he'll call, or go on walks in the park and relive your kiss all over again, or put on the blue dress to lounge around in the house and feel happy again. He was off-world, somewhere, and for who knows how long. You decided to surprise him today, and put on your grey dress from the senate event so that you could be dressed up when he called. 

You'd meant to return it a long time ago, but the person you'd borrowed it from had passed away in the heat of battle, and it almost felt wrong to leave it hung up in the closet forever. Even if it just meant spinning around your apartment, it was better than collecting dust. 

There's a soft knock at the door, and it's either a neighbour asking for sugar again or someone trying to sell something. You carefully open the door and are met with Rex. 

Rex in a suit. 

Rex in a suit with flowers. 

You're so in shock you can't move from the doorway, frozen staring up at him. Rex seems equally frozen, taking in the fact you were wearing that dress again. There's a part of his brain that betrays him, and he wonders if you were going out for a date, but he hears soft jazz music playing in the background and a smile splits across his face. "Why're you in a dress?" 

"I-I was going to surprise you, why are you in a suit?" You shake your head with a laugh, not caring why. "Nevermind, just kiss me." Rex happily obliges and wraps his arms around your waist, dropping the flowers, and you melt into the kiss, more than happy to be in his arms again. You gently run a hand over his hair, in need of a shave again, and he's likely fresh back from his mission, and it melts your heart that you're the first thing he can think of. You might've spent weeks apart, but being with him now, it feels like you've never parted. You pull away with a smile, and Rex presses his forehead to yours. 

"I was going to surprise you and dress up, I guess we had the same idea." Rex realizes he's dropped the flowers and quickly picks up the bouquet and brushes it off. "These-" 

"Are the same as last time," You cut him off and smile. "You're a charmer, Rex, I'll give you that." You lead him inside and find a vase for the flowers and just end up using a tall cup. "What are you doing on world?" 

Rex leans against the wall to the kitchen and hums along to the music. "We finished the campaign, so I thought I might as well surprise you." 

"Well, I'm happy you're home." Home. Rex loves the word and pulls you in for another kiss with a smile. "Maker, I've missed you."

"You have no idea how much I've missed you, cyare." You cup his cheek and kiss him again, never getting enough of him. When you break apart, Rex pulls you in for a hug, and his eyes scan the kitchen. All of the photos are up, of you and the 501st, and he spots another picture he hadn't seen before. 

It's just of him, on a datapad, and he reaches up his hand to take the frame from the wall. "Ah, I've seen you've found my latest edition to my collection." 

"What's this of?" You take the photo from him and grin down at it. Fives had sent it to you last week when Rex didn't have the time to call you and it was titled 'Grumpy Rex Misses You.' You trace a finger over the words and laugh softly. 

"Fives sent me this, on one of the days you couldn't call me. Told me you were grumpy." Rex takes the photo and puts it back on the wall with a huff. 

"I wasn't grumpy." You roll your eyes and move away from him, and realize you're still halfway through making dinner. You curse softly, pulling another plate from the cabinet and Rex stops you. "If it's not much trouble, I was wondering if we could order in." 

You narrow your eyes at him. "Is this something to do with my cooking?" 

"I don't doubt your cooking ability, cyare, I'd just rather have junk food today." You laugh and put the plate back, knowing that the rare time Rex is off-world, he'd rather have something good to eat instead of those ration bars. And to Rex, the best food is junk food. "So, how have you been?" 

"I've been good, better now that you're here." You pull Rex into the living room, and he moves to turn up the radio. It's a soft slow song and Rex pulls you close. You wrap your arms around his neck and smile, and Rex takes the lead to sway back and forth. "How was the campaign?" 

"Lost a few men, got some new scratches, but other than that? We turned out all well." He rests his forehead against yours and closes his eyes. "I'm glad you weren't there, but I missed having you by my side." 

"Well, I'm here now." Rex has bags under his eyes, and you wonder how he's slept without you. You know better than to bring up the subject, but you make a reminder to get him to bed early - After everything Rex has been through, without you, he deserves some peace and quiet. You've missed Rex more than you'll ever care to admit, like there was a piece of you missing every time he's away. Now, you can let all your fear and tension drain away. Because he was here, swaying back and forth to the music with a smile on his face, and that's all you need. "What are you thinking for dinner?" 

Rex's eyes flicker open, almost startled by your voice. "I was thinking deep fried Nuna." 

"I haven't had that since the last time we got it." You kept wanting to go back, and find that little stall where you'd got it the first time, but you hadn't found it in all your nights of wandering. "Hopefully this time it won't rain on us." 

"Knowing you, the ceiling will spring a leak and prove you wrong." You laugh into his shoulder and love how domestic it feels, you and Rex dancing in your apartment like it's nothing. Rex steps away for a moment and takes your hand. You're confused until he spins you around in beat to the music, your dress spiralling with you. 

Rex pulls you in close and you're taken back to that first dance, with his hands hovering over your waist, too afraid to touch, and those shared smiles. Now, even a couple months later, you've both grown so much. Rex pulls you back onto the couch and you let out a laugh, collapsing on top of him. "Rex!" 

"You're beautiful, cyare." Rex leans up and kisses you, letting his hand slip into your hair. It's not the most comfortable kiss ever, but with Rex, you don't really mind. He moves his hand to cup your face and rubs his thumb over your cheek. "How'd I end up with a girl like you?" 

"If I remember correctly, you fell asleep on my shoulder." You say with a laugh, and Rex rolls his eyes and sits up. "Or maybe it was the time I fell asleep on you?" 

"Whatever the reason, I'm so glad I have you." Your stomach growls and you blush. "You know, I think that's a sign we should get dinner." 

You slip off the couch and over to your phone. "Here, I can probably find us a place that does take-out." 

"You do that, and I'll set up the table." Rex picks up the vase of flowers and disappears out the door to your small balcony and you smile, Rex ever the romantic. You find a place not too far and order, and when you go to the balcony to find Rex, you let out a soft gasp. 

He's set up your small table outside with candles (maker knows where he got them, probably in some drawer or another in the kitchen) with the vase in the middle. If you'd known better, it looked like he could've proposed. Fancy dress, fancy food, it would be something out of a fairytale. But you know Rex, and his work, and his life well enough to know that this is him trying to make up for lost time. 

A diamond ring isn't in your future yet, but as long as Rex is, you don't mind. "This is wonderful, Rex." 

"I would've gotten us wine or something fancy, but uh, we're a bit short on time." You settle on the bench next to him and he wraps his arm around you, and you stare out into the sunset. Coruscant, while overpolluted, still had beautiful sunsets, with spirals of orange and purple, pink streaks across the crowds. 

"You know, I probably have something stashed away somewhere." Likely a housewarming gift or souvenir. "But I think we're good." 

"Yeah, we're good." Rex presses a kiss to your forehead. He turns back to watch the sky and lets out a breath, and you wonder what's going through his mind. "You know, I wouldn't mind settling down like this one day. I could never get tired of this view." 

You smile, looking up at the clouds. "I know, the sunsets are beautiful here." 

"I wasn't talking about that view." You glance up to see him staring down at you with the softest smile you've ever seen Rex have. You smile up at him and press a quick kiss to his cheek. 

"This view is pretty nice too." You stare at each other for a moment, so many words trapped in your head. There are so many things you want to say, to tell him before he has to go again, but looking at Rex they stop at the tip of your tongue. Rex feels the same - He wants to tell you just how beautiful and amazing you are, over and over again. 

He wants to grow old with you, to start a new life and hold you in his arms every day without worrying about tomorrow. He wants to love you with no holdbacks, to spend the rest of his day's side by side. He might grow old quicker than you, and might not be able to tell you how much you truly mean to him, but just having in his arms is enough. They say every word he could ever think of and more. 

The doorbell rings and snaps you both out of your trance and Rex gets up quickly and answers. You can smell the food as soon as it enters the house, and Rex hands you a white container and falls to sit back next to you. "You know, as much as I've missed you, I've missed this food just as much," He jokes, taking a large bite into his meal. 

You laugh and shake your head, leaning back into his side and eating. His heart beats beside you, soft and steady, and for once Rex doesn't feel nervous. He's relieved to be with you again, and you can tell he's so much calmer than he had been over his calls. You both finish quickly and toss the containers to the side. 

The sun dips below the horizon and the sky darkens slightly, orange and reds turning into purples and pinks, and you lean in closer to Rex. His other hand finds you and laces your fingers with his, and you both sit and watch the sunset together. You feel the rise and fall of his chest, and you let your eyes slip close. 

"Let's go to bed, cyare." You pretend to sleep, and Rex gently squeezes your hand. "Civ?" You feign sleep and Rex lets out a soft sigh, and you can imagine the smile on his face. His arm slips under you and picks you up, bridal style, and carries you inside. You press your cheek into his shoulder with a smile, and Rex scoffs. "I knew you weren't asleep." 

"M' tired, though." Rex tosses you onto your bed and you laugh, sitting up to watch him strip from his suit. You turn your head to give him some privacy, still wary of changing in front of you, and you watch moonlight streak in from the window. Perhaps you did fall asleep on him, considering the last time you checked it was still sunset. 

Your eyes scan back over to Rex, and you map out the scars on his back. A new one cuts into his shoulder, and you slip from the bed to trace a hand over it, and Rex melts into your touch when you press a kiss to it. "Get changed, cyare." 

You reach around and unzip the dress, letting it pool on the ground around you. Rex adverts his eyes and sits on the edge of the bed, and you watch his face spike into confusion when you pick up a pile of black fabric, before realizing it's a pair of his blacks. He smiles at you as you pull it over your head and his hands find you waist, pulling you down to lay beside him. 

For a moment, both of you lay in silence. It's been so long, laying beside each other, you hesitate into each others touch. Rex respects the boundary, and turns to tug the blanket over you and you throw an arm over his stomach, curling into his side with a sigh. "You don't know how much I've missed this. I've been worried about you."

"Oh?" Without you there, you doubt he gets any good sleep. You hadn't either, truth be told, but Rex needed more attention than you. 

"How much sleep have you been getting?" You trace over a scar with your finger and Rex laces his fingers with yours, bringing your hand up to kiss your knuckles. 

"Enough." You roll your eyes and shift onto your back, and to your surprise, Rex lays his head on your chest. You run your hand over his hair, spikey after going for a while without being cut. He hums at the contact, and you feel so safe with him by your side. "You know, every night, I'd look at that picture you left me." 

You smile down at him, happy he kept it with him. "I guess that does the job then, what am I here for?" 

"A picture can't compare to the real thing." Rex yawns and tugs the blankets up over your, and your let your head sink further into your pillow. You gently card your fingers through his hair, a calming motion for the both of you, and you're too happy to have him in your arms again. 

It's like nothing ever changed, and you're back on base. Dreaming of days without a war, sneaking glances across battlefields, living for every moment because it very well could've been your last. Rex is passed out on top of you, and you take the moment to watch him like this, the first time in a long time you can just sit back in peace with him. 

The last time you saw each other, it had been tearful goodbyes and the fear of letting go. Now you had the chance to wash those memories away, and fill them with the happy moments you had left. Dancing in the living room, surprise date nights, laughing like nothing ever happened.

He's safe, he's home, and that's all you ask for. With him beside you again, you fall into sleep easily, dreaming of sunsets and Rex. 


	19. A Surprise

Umbara. Zygerria. The Citadel. Anaxes. Every battle leaves it scars, both plain on Rex's skin and deep in his mind, and every time, he turns to you. You bring him back down to earth, hold him in his arms, show him everything will be alright in the end. But today he's lightyears away from you, and it hurts. 

"Hello, love." The saying is new, but you probably got it off of some bad soap opera and Rex doesn't mind, laying in his barracks bed with nothing to comfort him but your voice. "How is everything?" 

"Fine." Fine. He was always fine, wasn't he? He never disobeyed orders, he got hurt, tossed around, captured, but he was fine in the end. Because all clones were fine - and if they weren't fine, they were dead. He wasn't doubting his superiors or the Republic, but he was doubting his ability to lead. 

How can he keep leading men into battle knowing they're going to die? How can he look at Echo walk away and not feel his insides tear themselves apart, but it took him years to find his brother who was stuck, tortured, by separatists. How many men were abandoned? How many lost clones are out there? 

How long can he keep up the charade that he's fine? "You don't sound fine." 

"Just tired, that's all." He doesn't bring up Echo. It's still too new of a wound, too much to hear you ask what happen and have to explain that he left Echo to die on that planet. "How was your day?" 

"Same as every other day, fixing speeders and haggling with customers." You laugh and he loves the sound, so glad you're no longer on a battlefield but devastated he can't have you on nights like this. "What about you?" 

"Same as every other day." He wishes he was lying. That today was a completely new situation, saving a brother from separatist doom but in the end, every battle felt the same - Anger, bloodshed, remorse. A buried helmet and a forgotten name. "I miss you, so much." 

He unfolds his picture of you and wants to cry. He's a strong man, a strong leader, and has seen so much in his few years that nothing should hurt anymore. But seeing your smiling face, and not being able to truly see you, shatters was little resolve he has left. "I miss you too, Rex. When are you coming home?" 

"I don't know." He doesn't doubt that after this he's going to be carted off to another battle. He probably won't see Echo for a long time, or maybe ever again. It hurt Fives the most, having to watch his brother walk away. Fives is a strong man: He held Tup when he went, he fought through hell, and Rex held him as he sobbed after Echo left. 

He now lay asleep just a room over, and Rex wonders how many brothers will disappear before he's alone. Jesse, Kix, Fives, Cody. "When you do come home, I have a surprise for you." 

"Oh?" He smiles as you laugh softly on the other end of the call, the sound crackling slightly through the static. "What is it?" 

"You'll have to wait and see." Just seeing you is enough to make him happy - a surprise on top of that is just extra. Whatever it is, it makes you happy, so Rex is absolutely fine with it. "Your flowers are starting to die, and I'm thinking of pressing them." 

"Pressing them?" There are so many things you've mentioned, of normal daily life, that Rex will still never understand. Like swimming, or New Years, or whatever a 'pet' is. 

You hum softly on the other end. "Pressing is when you preserve a flower." 

"Oh." Doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but he gets the sentiment. "That could be nice." 

"It could be a cute anniversary gift." Rex's blood runs cold, fearing he'd forgotten some big date. It couldn't have been a year already, could it have been? No, that's impossible. "When is our anniversary?" 

"I have no idea," Rex says with a sigh. So you had no clue either. "Should we just pick a day?" 

There's a crackle of static and Rex prays that you'll still be on the other end. He won't sleep tonight, no, and your voice can put off the inevitable for long enough. "I don't get why just one day is special. Every day I get to spend with you is special." 

"Cyare, that was-" Rex cuts himself off with a laugh. He feels the same way, but it's still a cheesy line. 

"It's corny, I know. Just trying to lighten the mood." You yawn and he hears you shift. He feels bad for keeping you up, but he can't bring himself to say goodbye. "It's freezing here." 

"You're always cold." You're an icicle whenever he lays next to you, and it's nice on hot days and terrible on freezing ones. "Are you wearing my blacks? They're thermodynamic." 

You loving wearing his blacks, warm and comforted by the smell of him. But it's been long enough that the scent has worn off, and you wish Rex could come home to change that. "Of course I'm wearing them, they're all I wear nowadays." 

"We should get you a custom pair." He thinks of you in his armour and smiles. "And armour to match." 

"Fives told me I'd make a terrible clone." You mumble into your pillow. "Is that an insult?" 

"I'd take it as both an insult and a compliment, coming from Fives." He says as he tucks the photo away, and you laugh on the other end. 

It's been the longest stretch since he's been home, and it drains him. So much has happened - Tup, Echo, so many battles and so many scars that pile up on each other. If he were home, he'd have the time to break down and finally cope with it all, but home isn't an option. You'd hold him and whisper reassuring words, like that night in your room, but now he has to be content with you talking through a communicator.

He hears you yawn on the other end, and despite never wanting to let you go, it's not fair to keep you up. "You should be asleep, Civ." 

"Wanted to talk to you." Your words slur slightly when you're tired, and he huffs out a soft laugh. "Goodnight, cyare." 

"Goodnight, love." He turns off his comms and slips out of bed, sleep not on his side tonight. He wanders out of their makeshift barracks and is surprised to see Anakin watching the stars, hands clasped behind his back. 

"What're you doing up, Rex?" Rex comes to stand beside him, looking up at the moon. 

"Couldn't sleep, sir." Anakin nods with a hum, understanding better than anyone what it's like to be haunted in your dreams - to stay up for days on end, trying not to sleep.

They stand in silence for a moment before Anakin turns his head to look at him. "You're missing her, aren't you?" 

"I-" He knows better than to keep up the professional charade in front of Anakin. "I didn't know I could miss something this much." 

"Let me tell you, it doesn't get easier." Anakin turns to look back up at the stars. "It feels like your heart is being torn out, not being able to be with them." 

"Exactly. I'd give anything to be with her tonight." Anakin pats him on the back with a smile. 

"You know, if you'd asked, I could've given you more time off." Rex would want nothing more, but he can't. He has a duty to lead, to be a soldier and be there for his men, that leaving it all for one more day with you is selfish. 

Doesn't mean he can't dream. "You and I both know I couldn't do that." 

"You're a good man, Rex." Rex looks back up at the stars and wonders which one is Coruscant. "It's a shame I didn't get to meet her." 

"I feel like you two would've gotten along." He laughs at the thought of you meeting the general, probably too stunned to do anything. 

"From what Fives tells me, you and her are meant for each other." It's not what he expects to hear, and it takes him a while to respond. 

Meant for each other. Of all the people, in the entire universe, Rex believes he was meant for you, and only you. He won't use the word soulmate, or fate, or destiny, but you two were so intertwined it seemed almost ridiculous that you were once apart. 

He won't use the word soulmate, or fate, or destiny, but maker, does he think you're all he ever needs.   
-

Rex is more than happy that their next mission is a relief mission - hand out supplies, make sure civilians are okay, battle any droids they come across. No barren battlefields, or threat of death, just people helping people. That's what the clones were meant to do, after all. Help fight, help save lives, help others. 

Rex is more than happy to have some time to relax, with his brothers, and come to terms with what's happened to them over the past little while. Bond, again, after Tup's...betrayal, if they could call it that. 

Rex is more than happy when he watches another transport arrives, and Cody hops out with general Kenobi. "Commander, General." 

"Captain." Cody nods at him with a grin, and he wonders what's going on. "I have a surprise for you, Rex." 

"Oh? This going to be another one of those death traps?" Cody steps aside and Rex almost faints. 

Rex is more than happy to see you, beaming up at him in your old jumpsuit with a crate of supplies in your arms. He can barely contain the urge to run to you and kiss you, instead opting to smile like a fool. "Hey, Rex. Long time no see." 

"What are you doing here?" He looks in confusion from you to Cody, who just shrugs and takes the crate from you. 

"I heard you needed some extra hands down here, and I knew this little engineer who would be more than happy to help. Rex, wasn't there a generator that needed fixing?" Cody winks and Rex tries not to blush, nodding dumbly and gesturing towards one of the rundown buildings behind him. 

"Absolutely. Civ, you up for the challenge?" You nod eagerly and skip along, and as soon as you're out of eyesight Rex wraps his arms around your waist and spins you around with a grin. "I thought you were on Coruscant!" 

You laugh and kiss him, hands cupping his cheeks. "Well, I got a call from a certain General saying that you needed some company." 

"No." Rex could die of embarrassment, cheeks burning red, and you pull him in for another kiss. He melts into your hold, despite the fact anyone could turn a corner and see. He pulls away with a smile and brushes some hair from your face. "Was this my surprise?" 

"No, you still have to wait for that one." There's a sound of heavy footsteps and you both break apart and Fives rounds the corner with a grin, helmet tucked under his arm. 

"So the rumours are true, you've returned to us Civvie." When you hug Fives he holds on a little tighter than normal, and you wonder why - Fives is a hugger, sure, but you can tell he doesn't want to let go. 

"Only for a few days, don't get your hopes up." You're not allowed to stay for long, and technically, you're not even allowed to be here. But, General Skywalker loves to bend the rules, and this time you don't mind. "How have you been, Fives?" 

He doesn't answer right away, sharing a look with Rex. "Uh, I've been better. But I'm doing alright. Now, don't let me keep you from your captain, go make out behind a generator or something." 

"Fives!" You smack his arm with a laugh. 

"Hey, there's a reason I made sure you heard me come around the corner, you two haven't seen each other in a month." He raises his eyebrows and you blush. "Now, go back to... _whatever_ it is you were doing, don't let me ruin the mood." 

"You're the worst, Fives." You say and he laughs, waving goodbye. When he disappears around the corner Rex pulls you into his arms again with a scoff. 

"I swear I'm going to kill him one of these days." You press a kiss to his cheek and smooth a hand over his chestplate with a smile. 

Fives truly could be an annoying younger brother sometimes, but you loved him all the more for it. "I'm sure you will. Now, wasn't there a generator I was supposed to be fixing?" 

"Just a few more minutes?" He asks quietly and you sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

"You can be worse than Fives, you know that?" He presses a kiss to your neck and you try to pull away, laughing softly as you smack his shoulder. "Rex!" 

"Fine, fine, lets so start this generator." He lets go of you but laces his fingers with yours, and you walk through the streets of this small empty town hit hard by the war. It was the same story across the galaxy - No supplies, the threat of death looming over them. They were all more than happy for the Republic to arrive, but they still shied away from the clones and Jedi. 

You saw it in their faces, confusion of you holding Rex's hand, children stopping their games to watch you pass. Rex either doesn't notice or pretends not to, making idle conversation about his day. You stop at an alley with an ancient generator stuck in the back, and you can't help but laugh. "There's no way that thing is going to start." 

"Come on, you can at least try." You drop your bag of tools onto the ground, roughly prying open the front panel and coughing at the dust cloud that follows. "You're an engineer, you should be able to fix it." 

"This is is probably older than both of us combined." You dig through the wires and sigh. "I think I know what our problem is." 

"What?" You yank out a coil of wire, completely fried and curled in strange ways. "That doesn't look good." 

"No kidding - Glad I brought extra wire, or else this thing would be impossible." Rex hands you the extra coil of wire and you go about resoldering the connections, and Rex leans against the wall and watches you in silence, and you relish being in his company again. 

You don't have to talk, empty silence doing more than words could. It's been a month, probably more, yet just having him beside you now is enough. His comms alert breaks your content lull, and Rex sighs. "I've got to go, Civ, but once you're done the generator I'll probably be back by the landing bay." 

"See you, cyare." Rex leans over you to press a kiss to your forehead and leaves, and you return to soldering the wire. It's been a while since you've done tedious work like this, but you don't mind it. Compared to blown fuses and rusty old motors, an ancient generator is a walk in the park, so to speak. Something hits your leg, and you turn in confusion to look down at a worn ball. 

Looking up, children stand in fear at the opening of the alley, and you smile and gently kick their ball back. They're definitely not used to strangers, and even as they take the ball back you can tell they're afraid. You turn back to your work and something tugs on your jumpsuit, and you look down at a young girl, barely reaching your hip. "Hello there, little one." 

She tugs harder, and you take the cue to follow her. You imagine they don't know basic, so isolated in the galaxy, and she slips her hand into yours as your walk. She leads you down the street, the other kids playing and kicking the ball back and forth. They come to a stop at a field, and you spot Fives and Jesse near the edge. "What'd you do, Civ? Get kidnapped?" 

"It's called making friends. You ever played football?" Fives and Jesse share a confused look as you gesture to the field. 

"Can't say I have." One of the kids kicks the ball to Jesse, who puts his foot out to stop it. "How do you play?" 

"Kick the ball around and let the kids win." You say and Jesse snorts out a laugh but kicks the ball back gently. It's a cute scene, watching Jesse awkwardly learn how to play around children, and Fives joins in like he'd been playing his entire life. 

You gently tug on the girl's hand and point to the game but she shakes her head and leads you down the path, worn and muddy from the rain. You come to a puddle and she grins, letting go of your hand to splash around. You laugh as you watch, and she gestures for you to join. Now, normally, you'd try and be professional. But considering you were no longer an auxiliary engineer, you can make an exception, and you join in jumping. 

It's been forever since you've done something like this. Probably back when you were a young kid, playing in puddles. It's almost cathartic, just jumping around and laughing. "What are you doing?" You startle at Rex's voice, who stands off to the side with an amused look. 

"What does it look like, Rex?" You jump closer to him and mud splashes onto his boots. He rolls his eyes and turns to watch the boys play football, and you wonder how long it would take him to convince him to relax and join in. "When was the last time you splashed in a puddle, Rex?" 

"Never." You grab his arm and yank him before he can object, and he stumbles into the puddle with a scoff. "Civ, come on." 

"It's a relief mission. And, as much as you need to be all professional and stoic, you can have some fun." You reach down, and Rex watches on in confusion as you dip your hand in the mud. You quickly wipe it across his chest plate and his confusion morphs into mock anger. 

"Oh, you're in for it now." You can't say the last time you had this much fun, battling Rex in the mud, laughing like you were kids again. Rex had forgotten his rank, his responsibilities and spun you around, spraying mud everywhere. The girl laughed along with you, jumping and throwing mud occasionally. 

Rex pulled you in, and for a moment you thought you were going to kiss. Out here, in public, where everyone could see, and a moment of panic spikes. Rex might no longer be your superior, but he could still get in trouble. He hovers over you for a moment before deciding otherwise and swipes mud across your nose. "That wasn't fair." 

"Oh, pulling me into a puddle wasn't fair." Rex takes a step back and you laugh at the state of him, white, shining armour wrecked. You probably look the same, mud soaking through your jumpsuit. "How did you get mud in your hair?" 

"I blame you." You joke and turn to watch Fives battle against General Skywalker, playing football, and the image is absurd. Then again, you're standing in a puddle with Rex covered in mud - Today is a day to be absurd. "Maker, I'm covered in mud." 

"There are showers in the barracks." Rex nods towards the setup buildings and takes your hand. "We should get cleaned up before someone takes a picture." 

You snort out a laugh and let Rex lead you away, waving goodbye to the girl. "I've missed that." 

"Jumping in mud?" Rex asks, incredulously, and you smack his arm. 

"Having fun with you." The door to the barracks slides open, and Rex hesitates for a moment at the door. "What?" 

"They're, um, public showers." Ah, that's why he's suddenly gone bright pink. You look around and spot a 'Commanders Quarters' sign, and grin. 

"Why not use Cody's room?" You've never seen Rex go from pink to deep red so quickly. "He won't mind." 

Rex stumbles as you walk towards the door. "Um, there's only one shower." 

"We can shower together." There's a tense moment in the air you quite can't pin down. "Save water." 

"O-Okay." You should feel bad for Cody, you really should, but as soon as you've locked the door behind you you strip out of your muddy clothes and leave it on his floor. Rex looks away like always, making quick work of his armour. 

Neither of you speak, both stuck in an awkward limbo as you strip. You enter the refresher first and peel out of your underwear, and when Rex enters, you hear him suck in a breath and quickly turn his head away. You let your eyes wander over his chest, dip a bit lower and they return to his face, blush deep on his cheeks.

You start the shower, freezing cold at first that makes you yelp and Rex laughs. It finally warms up enough for you to step in, and Rex follows not long after. His chest is pressed against your back, the shower not meant for two people. You turn to look up at him, back to the water, and you can't help the smile that spreads across your face.

It's awkward, Rex's eyes glued on the ceiling, ever the gentleman. He startles as you gently move your hands up his arms and wrap around his neck, and he finally tilts his head down from the ceiling. His eyes settle on yours, and it's like looking at him for the first time again. 

His eyes hold so much emotion, you don't know where to start. Fear. Happiness. Hunger. His muscles flex under the water and he wipes mud off your nose, and you realize this is the first time you've ever truly been this close, this personal to Rex, and you wonder what's going through his mind.

Rex lets his hands settle on your waist, rubbing gentle circles, and you take a moment to be in his arms again, safe and sound. You let your eyes slip close and Rex moves to press your back against the wall and kisses you. For once, it isn't desperate - It's wanting, hungry, like he can't get enough. It's passionate, loving, and overpowering completely. 

You kiss back, just as passionate and lose yourself in the feeling of Rex pressed up against you and hot water. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have the heart to kill Fives, y'all.


	20. More Than You Could Ever Know

No.

No, no, no.

The holoclip plays on loop, of clones attacking the Jedi temple, attacking Jedi, the so-called fall of the republic. You'd heard the rumours of Tup, of clones turning on their friends before, but you never imagined anything like this. You didn't expect them to be true, or for it to be broadcasted around Coruscant.

You knew these men, their lives, their beliefs. The 501st would never do that to younglings, would never do that to Jedi, would never do that to anyone. Yet here they were, firing away without a second thought. You'd know that blue and white armour anywhere. A message plays with it, of General Kenobi pleading for no Jedi to return to the temple, quoting the fall of the republic, and your heart ceases in your chest. Not minutes earlier, you saw the 212th turn on him. 

You saw Cody turn on him. Good, quiet Cody who brought you tea and sat with you when you were terrified and listened, who could never hurt anyone like that, who was Rex's closest friend. Who found out what you did in his shower and made you both buy him drinks the next time he was at 79's, a promise you'll never get to fulfil. 

You clasp a hand over your mouth and your stomach churns, and you scan through every clip for some sign of Rex. You're not sure what you want to find - A part of you needs to see him, but another doesn't want to see the man he might become.

Rex. You muffle your sob into your hand, knowing somewhere out there Rex is like them, turning on everyone he loves. Was it just a game? A rouse to make them seem more human? Was anything ever real, if clones can so easily turn on their family? A part of you knows he could never do anything like this, but watching those clips you feel helpless because you know their armour. You know their faces. You've walked among them and laughed and loved and was blind to the fact that they weren't who they seemed. It was the end of the Clone Wars but no one was cheering. 

You'd talked to Rex about the end. What it held for both of you, what your lives would look like. You never pictured, in a million years, this would be the end. With spilt blood and broken trust. Without Rex. 

Everything was now the Empire. You'd heard quiet rumours of the sith, mutters words from Jedi and scary stories to spook children back to bed, and now, they lead the galaxy. You collapsed onto the ground, chest heaving as you tuck your knees against yourself and sobbed. 

You sobbed for could've been. 

You sobbed for what you lost. 

You sobbed for Rex, and Cody, and Fives, and Jesse and Kix. For all the lost younglings and padawans and Jedi. 

Nothing is safe anymore, not your home, not your love, not your life. There's a split-second decision, one you have to make. Because as much as you want to stick around, to see what happens to the world you know, you're aligned with the Republic. And if everyone is turning on each other, you don't want to be there when the door gets kicked down. Luca had called you, told you you needed to leave, immediately. That he knew somewhere safe, and you put your trust in him. You'd taken all the photos from the walls, packed your essential clothes. They were waiting by the door, waiting for you, but a part of you can't leave. 

Not without Rex. Not without a goodbye. 

You pull the first photo from the stack, fighting through your tears, and sit down on your bed and write one last goodbye. 

-

Rex was on Mandalore, fighting for his life when Order 66 occurred. Ahsoka had saved him, barely, and he stood staring out over his brothers grave. Jesse's grave. Fives had been right, and no one had believed him. All clones, every brother across the galaxy turned. He turned and almost killed Ahsoka. 

He doesn't cry, not when his world comes crashing down. 

All his life, everything he was created for, was a lie. Every brother who died for the Republic didn't need to. This war was fabricated to bring an end to the Republic and he'd be blind to it, even when it stared him dead in the face. His whole life he'd justified what he did, what he had to do, by saying it was the right thing to do. Now, his actions came back to him, every screaming voice and terrified face, every dead body and dead brother, and he feels sick. 

You hate him now, don't you? It's no doubt, in Rex's mind, you've seen what has happened, what everyone has done. If he can barely live with himself, how can you? He's glad the Auxilary Forces were abandoned. He's glad you left his side despite the fact it hurt more than he could ever put into words. If you'd been here, would he have been told to shoot you? If he didn't have his chip removed, would he kill you? 

He wants to go home, to be in your arms, for you to wash the pain away. But he knows, deep down, he can't face you or his actions. Now that you know, now that he knows, you'll never love him again. Rex is sure of it. 

That doesn't stop him from taking the first shuttle back to Coruscant, even when Ahsoka calls him crazy. Because if he only has today, one chance to explain and hold you again, he's taking it. He can live with you hating him forever, but he couldn't live without a final goodbye. He knocks and gets no answer. 

When he tries the doorknob, the door is unlocked, and Rex realizes why you never answered. The walls are bare, so's the living room and kitchen. His flowers still sit out on the table, dead and wilted. "Civ? Cyare?" 

He checks the bathroom, empty except for his extra toothbrush. You'd bought him a blue one, as a joke, but it meant the world to him you'd cared about the colour. Your bedroom is bare as well, and the closet is open. Your blue dress hangs, next your grey one, and memories slam back into Rex's brain quicker than he can shut them out. 

He reaches out and touches them, and wonders why you would've left them behind. It's obvious, really. Why would you want to keep things that would make you hurt the longer you held onto them? Rex's eyes swarmed with tears, and all the photos were gone from your walls. Like the one that hung above your dresser of the 501st, or one of you on a beach somewhere. 

One, single photo remains. It's placed gently on the bed, and it's the one of Rex labelled 'Grumpy Rex Misses You.' He sits slowly on the bed and lets the tears fall. You'd left, and you'd left the traces of him behind. He turns it over, and it surprised to see a note attached. 

_Dear Rex,_

_If this is you, really you reading, then you know why I have to leave. Nothing is safe anymore, I don't know what to trust. Who to trust. If this is really you, then I'm sorry for just leaving without a real goodbye. If this is really you, then let this be goodbye. I'm off-world, somewhere safe, and if we never get to see each other again, if I never get to tell you, I love you so much. I love laying in your arms and doing stupid things together and late-night dances and jumping in puddles. Leaving you, leaving us, is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But if this is really you, then you'll understand why._

_I hope you know that you're loved, and you deserved so much more than what this war left of you. Give my love to Fives, and Jesse, and Kix, if they're still alive._

_If you never end up reading this letter, I hope I'll find you one day in heaven._

_Goodbye,_

_Cyare._

Rex thought he didn't have any tears left to cry, but he sobs into his fist and lets the photo fall to the floor. You two were never good at goodbyes, were you? He can't picture your last goodbye in his mind, and it isn't this. An empty bedroom and rushed words. He just wants one last chance to be with you, and now, it's gone up in smoke. 

You'd always talked about a future together, but now? Now Rex doesn't think he'll ever get one. He tries calling, but he doesn't reach anything. You'd likely thrown the commlink away, or destroyed it. For once, Rex is truly alone, and he doesn't know what to do. 

It's not like you to leave without a trace. Sure, you'd left behind a letter, but there has to be something else. Anything else. He takes one last walk around the house and the memories that flood his brain make him cry again. You'd always make him caf in the morning, no matter what time it was. You'd dance with him in the living room when you both got drunk, you'd sit on the balcony and watch the sunset. 

He sits on the bench you used to share and looks out over the city, so much darker and sinister now. There's a book sitting out, and Rex wonders if you left it on accident. He opens it and is met with your handwriting. 'Surprise! Happy Anniversary' So, this was the surprise you had waiting for him.

It's a small book filled with little things - He thinks, vaguely, it's called a scrapbook. A receipt from that fried Nuna place, a napkin from 79's, another photo of you two dancing. He fights the urge to tear out the page and replace his photo, now old and quite torn. On the last page is the heading 'The Future', and it hurts that it's blank beside something crumpled stuck to the paper. It's a flower and he gets why you called it 'Pressed.' It's flat against the page, and stares down at the writing underneath with hope. 

'The Rominaria flower, Native to Naboo - I hear it's quite pretty this time of year.' Rex is out of your apartment, photo and book tucked under his arm and wondering the quickest way to Naboo. Maybe he's reading too much into a simple reference, maybe he's not, but he's not taking any chances.

-

You'd given up on Rex finding you after a week. Maybe he hadn't made it home, maybe he hadn't understood your clue, maybe he hadn't found the book. You'd spent a week straight making it, thinking it would be something for him to enjoy when he couldn't see you. Now, he might never see it. 

Naboo was a pretty planet, with lush green fields and rivers, but you hadn't paid attention to its beauty when you got here. No, you're too hyper-focused on life-or-death, the threat looming over you and everyone on the planet. It was a safe haven for those loyal to the Republic, not this new empire, but that also meant it was a dangerous place to live. 

You're in a small cottage, on the outskirts of nowhere, and you wish you'd brought one of your dresses with you for the warmer days. Instead, you'd had to go out and buy new clothes, and Naboo fashion was quite different than the jumpsuits you normally wore. 

Every day was spent waiting by the door, hoping for the day Rex would land and come running to confess his love to you and sweep you off your feet and you'll live on Naboo until you're old and grey. Instead, you sit on the front steps and watch the sunrise, and wonder how long it will take until you break - How long, without Rex, until you collapse in on yourself? 

Luca had tried to be nice, to get you to come out more and stop wallowing in misery, but it's still not the same. The sun rises and sets, the planet keeps spinning, yet your world has stopped for once. No rushing, not vehicles to fix, just emptiness. It took another week to finally do something with your new home, and you put up all the photos you packed away. 

You hesitated to hang the one of you and the boys, and your hand automatically comes up to rub over Rex's necklace, the one thing you couldn't bring yourself to part with. This was a piece of him back when he was yours, and you have to keep telling yourself he still is- But when every clone of the Grand Republic turns, Rex can't be an outlier. 

You want Fives to be here and crack a joke and relieve the tension. Kix to offer you some advice, Jesse to tell you to get your act together, and Cody to tell you everything will be alright. But above all, you want Rex to show up and prove that everything was an elaborate hoax. You hang the photo of the 501st in the kitchen, but after a couple of minutes of looking at it, you have to take it down. 

"Knock knock," Luca calls from the front door, and you take your time getting to him. He has his son in his arms, maybe a year or two old, and you smile at him with a little wave. "Me and Jumi brought you some lunch." 

"You're too kind, Luca." You take the parcel from him and from the smell, you know it's fish. "How's Yura?" 

"She's good. Have you, um, heard from him?" You set the fish down on your kitchen counter, and Luca stares at the photo discarded beside it. "I'm guessing not?" 

You shake your head and Luca sighs. "I think it's time to move on, Tiny. He's...he's not coming back." 

"You don't know that," You bite out, gripping the edge of your counter. 

"Every clone turned, you know that. You might love Rex but the chance he didn't? Cody turned. Cody. And he'd die before he ever did something like that to the general." You know something has to be wrong because you agree. Cody would never carry out something like that of his own free will. "Now, go find a new job. Make new friends. Move on." 

"I'm trying, I just-" You see him everywhere you go. In the flowers by the river and in every mud puddle. "I just can't believe it." 

Jumi squabbles in Luca's arms and flails about. "See? Jumi agrees with me, go live your life before you rot away in here." 

"I think what Jumi is actually saying is not to be so hard on your friends." You stick your finger out and he grabs your hand. "See?" 

"Or-" He takes in a sniff and winces. "Someone needs their diaper changed." 

"Yes, it could also be that." You see Luca to the door and watch him walk off to his speeder. You wave as he leaves but stay on the porch to take in the scenery. It's deathly quiet out here, no cities around to overpopulated the noise. At night, you can see every star in the sky, and the water is clearer than you've ever seen. 

Your eyes trace over the river and the edge of the forest and your heart stops. Someone is stood, watching, with a cloak on with the hood up. A part of you hopes its Rex, the other part hoping it's not a murderer. Whoever it is seems to know you're watching and slowly approaches, and you wrap your arms closer around yourself as they stand a few feet away from your front porch. 

Your fingers close around the blaster at your side as you step down the front steps, and they raise their arms to pull down their hood, and the first thing you take in is how different Rex looks. His hair is longer, the bags under his eyes are deeper, and he looks generally older. Your heart stops, and neither of you move. You should, considering Rex very well could be here to kill you. "Civ, thank kriff, I-" He steps forward and you step back, tears in the back of your eyes as you raise your blaster. Rex seems in shock, and you hate having to hold a gun to his head. "Civ?" 

"How do I trust you?" Everyone has told you that Rex was, apparently, a traitor and a liar. What's to say he isn't here to pull you in for a hug and stab you in the back? Your hand shakes slightly and you wonder how he could do this on a daily basis. 

"It's me, it's Rex. Of course you can trust me." He raises his hands, showing he has nothing in them and takes another step forward. You don't lower the blaster, but it still shakes in your grip. If Rex wanted, he could disarm you in a heartbeat, but he knows better than to try - That would confirm your suspicions more than anything. 

"Every clone in the Republic turned, Rex. Every. Clone. How-How can I trust you?" You stare at each other for a long moment, and memories slam into you. That first kiss, that first night, holding each others hands in secret, cleaning wounds and loving each other. You know the man standing in front of you better than you know yourself - When he gets anxious, his hands shake, and when he's embarrassed he turns his head. When he's happy he can't stop himself from smiling, even in dark situations. When he loves, he loves with his whole heart and every moment away from your tears you both apart, and you have to stand in front of him and make his worst nightmare true. You don't trust him, you can't, not when your whole world has been turned upside down. You wish you were back on that relief mission, or in your apartment, anywhere but here, having to break your heart even more. Tears slip down your cheeks as you steady your hand. "Tell me something only Rex would know." You watch Rex's face blank and wonder what's going through his mind. The longer he takes to reply, the more you're mind runs wild.

Rex, to be quite fair, doesn't know what to say, because he wants to say everything and anything to make you his again. Maker, what does he say? That when you get drunk you put on cheesy love songs and slow dance? Or that the first time he fell asleep on your shoulder he was terrified to wake up alone? That everything you've done has made him a better person? That your first kiss was in the rain and as much as Rex complained he'd have stood there with you, soaking wet, for hours if you asked? Or do you want something that truly only he could know, like on nights when you can't sleep you trace the word 'I Love You' into his skin, or when you're happy your smile could light up a room? That you love people for who they are, not where they came from, or that you're the best thing in his life? 

There are so many things he could say, that he could justify, but only one sentence comes to mind. The sentence that you've said only a few times, but it sums up you and Rex. "We're not good at goodbyes." He watches the sentence wash over your face, tense expression falling. But you don't step closer, don't lower your blaster, and Rex can't help what he says next because he needs to get it off of his chest. "And I keep that photo of us dancing over my heart because if I die in the line of fire I want you with me when I, um, go."

You drop the blaster, and it falls uselessly into the grass. You thank the universe for whatever miracle that brought Rex back to you, that made him different than the rest, and you take a step towards him. "Maker, Rex." You close the gap between the two of you, arms thrown around his neck and Rex's hands find your waist, spinning you around and pressing his lips into yours. It's desperate, and longing, and you kiss back just as hard. He gently sets you down again, hands coming up to cup your cheeks and wipe the tears away.

"I'd always come back to you, Cyare, I made a promise." That he did. You press your forehead against his shoulder and let yourself sob, and Rex's arms wrap around you and pull you into the tightest hug you've ever had. If feels like a dream, to be back in Rex's arms. You're safe, he's safe, and that's all you can ask for. 

"I-I was so worried." You suck in a breath, trying to calm yourself down. "I saw the video and I thought you...I thought you..." You'd thought he'd become a monster or a brainless droid. 

Rex tilts your head up with the crook of his finger and kisses you again, this time much softer and sweeter. When he pulls away you pull him back in, still not ready to part. Rex's hand comes up to wipe away more tears, and you slowly part. "It's a chip." 

"A what?" Maybe you're hallucinating or something, but you're not sure exactly what he just said. 

"A chip." He runs a finger over a new scar on his forehead. "In every clone. We're forced to follow every order we're given." 

"Meaning..." Meaning none of them knew what they were doing. That Cody didn't willingly fire on General Kenobi, and the 501st didn't willingly slaughter the Jedi in the temple. 

"Meaning there's nothing we can do to stop it." The gravity of the situation sets in, and you stand in shock. 

Nothing. Nothing could have stopped this or prepared you for it. "Meaning you're a deserter." 

"Stranger things have happened." Rex bends down to pick up your blaster. "I'm a deserter, you tried to shoot me-" 

"I thought you were-" You cut yourself off before you can finish the sentence. "I was trying to scare you off." 

"Well, I'm going to have to teach you how to properly use a blaster." He flicks something on the side. "Safety was still on." 

You smack his arm with a laugh, and it's nice just to be back in his company again, making jokes. "Hey, at least I didn't actually kill you." 

"At least you didn't kill me." He hands you back your blaster and you holster it, and he looks up at your cottage. "You know how long it took me to find you?" 

"Two weeks and six days?" Rex does a double-take. "Not that I was counting or anything." You add quickly, stomping up your front steps. Rex laughs softly behind you and follows, and you prop the door open with your foot to let him in. 

"Exactly two weeks and six days, not that I was counting either." Rex drops his bag by the door and takes in your living space. You watch his eyes scan the pictures on the wall, and he digs through his bag and pulls out the grumpy photo of him. "You're clever, leaving two separate clues. I would've thought that this...this was it." 

He holds out the photo to you and you take it, pulling the letter from the back and staring at it. When you wrote it, you had believed it was goodbye. That you might never see him again. Now, you want nothing more than to crumple it up into a ball. "I also thought this was it. But I couldn't just...Just leave you." 

"You, um, you left a few things behind." Rex hands you his bag, and you open it with a laugh. You pull out your blue dress (which Rex went back for, for obvious reasons), and look up at Rex with a smirk. 

"I was packing only the essentials, I didn't think fancy dresses counted." YOu're more than happy to have it again, you drop Rex's bag onto the kitchen table and realize you've left the fish sitting out. "Oh, osik." 

Rex laughs and you hurriedly bring the fish to the freezer, and when you return to him, he's flipping through your scrapbook. He's open to the page of you two dancing, and he looks up with a shy smile. "Can I...can I take this one? Mines a bit worn." You nod and Rex rips the photo out and takes the old photo from his chest plate. His words from earlier hit you, and your breath catches. 

"Did you really keep it over your heart?" He stares at the photo for a long time. 

"Always." You pull Rex in for another kiss, and he lets the old photo flutter to the table. You wipe dirt from his nose, and Rex turns to pick up the photo and finds the group shot of you and the 501st. His hand shakes as he picks it up, and he sits into the chair beside him, and you watch realization settle over his face. "I...They didn't deserve this. They're good men." 

"I wish there was something I could do to make this easier for you." You gently run a hand over Rex's hair. "Did...Did the others make it?" 

Rex nods, and takes a second to compose himself. "Fives is off hunting down Echo. Needs to make sure he's okay." 

"Kix?" Rex doesn't answer. "Jesse?" Rex slams his eyes closed and presses a hand to his eyes and you watch his chest heave. YOu don't bother to ask about Cody, knowing it will only make things worse. You pull Rex into a hug, and it's his turn to sob. His face is pressed against your shoulder and you gently rock back and forth. 

There's nothing you could ever say to make this okay. There are no words, no amount of kisses that could bring back the dead or reverse time. You're helpless again, and all you can do is hold Rex as his world shatters around him. You thought you were reeling, you hadn't thought about the pain Rex must've been through. To see his brothers, his family turn and not be able to stop them. To know there's nothing he could ever do to stop them. Rex gasps for breath in between tears, and you will yourself not to cry with him - right now he needs time to vent, time to heal, and it's selfish to let yourself fall apart when you're what he needs most. You gently wipe the tears from his face, and Rex looks up at you with a look you've never seen before. It's...It's not hope. It's too broken to be called hope, but it's something like that. Like the light at the end of the tunnel, that at least if the world is coming to an end, it will end with you two together. Rex wipes his eyes hastily and turns his head quickly, now aware that you've seen him hit rock bottom. 

"Are you hungry?" He shakes his head, and you didn't want to eat for a while after you found out either. "When's the last time you had a shower?" 

"Two weeks and six days ago." He laughs softly at his own joke, and you take it as a good sign. You step back, nodding towards the stairs, and Rex links his hand with yours. "Will you...will you shower with me again?" 

"Anything you want, cyare." Your new bathroom is much bigger than your tiny refresher before, and Rex takes it all in. You unclasp his cloak and let it fall to the ground, and Rex is worn. There's dirt splattered up his side, his armour has lost its shine, the ever chipping paint more destroyed than ever before. 

Rex's hands fumble with his armour and you help him out of it, and for once, he changes fully in front of you, not self-conscious to have to you near. You turn on the shower and step aside to strip yourself. Rex has his back to you in the shower, and you gently map out his scars. They can't compare to the wounds in his head, of the memories he can never forget. He trembles under you, and press a kiss to a scar on his shoulder. 

He turns to you, and gently laces his fingers with yours and brings them up to kiss your knuckles. You don't have to speak to understand the silence between you two - right now, all you need was to stare at each other and know you're both alright. You cup Rex's cheeks and smile, pressing a kiss to the bridge of his nose. He presses his forehead against yours, and you don't know how long you stand like that, using up all the hot water. 

"I love you, cyare." He whispers as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. "More than you could ever possibly know." 

"I love you too, Rex." You press a long kiss to his lips, hoping it shows your affection more than your words ever could. His hands come to settle on your waist, and you rake your fingers through Rex's wet hair. "More than you could ever know." 

-

Despite not sleeping well for almost three weeks, when you both come to bed, neither of you fall asleep. You simply lay in each other's arms and take in the fact you're together again. After everything that happened, after a lifetime of being pulled apart, you're here. In the future, you used to talk about and picture so vividly in your head. 

Right now, however, you don't picture a future together. Not like you did before. It doesn't have to be children in a cute little house and a white picket fence and a diamond ring on your finger. It isn't a steady job and sweet nothing's as you dance in the living room and growing old together. It isn't travelling the galaxy, just the two of you, and experiencing everything you can. It isn't working in a mechanic shop and coming home to Rex cooking dinner. It isn't late nights at bars or family vacations. Now, all you picture is Rex. Having him forever by your side, holding your hand, knowing it will be okay. You don't care about getting married or starting a family or travelling the universe, the future you want more than anything is to just have him here. You'd give up everything you ever had just to be able to lay in Rex's arms forever. 

Rex, for one night, let's himself dream of a future. There's no more war, no more battlefields, nothing. Now he can imagine getting down on one knee and seeing your face morph into shock and joy, of whisking you away to some beach planet and laying in the sun for as long as you like. Of little feet running down a hallway, a perfect mix of you and him, and of Fives and Echo coming around for dinner and laughing over age-old jokes and family game night. You can make that dish you swear is your speciality and Rex will insist it's the best he's ever had, even if it's not. Of Ahsoka coming to babysit so you two can have a date night and go into town and act like children again. A house that's his own, you by his side, anything he could dream of. These past few weeks have been hell, and he doubts he can ever move on. But now he has the chance to start anew. No more rules. No more regulations. Just you, by his side, forever. That's all he needs to be a happy man. 

"You know i was terrified to losing you. I came home to an empty apartment and...and I never knew I could hurt like that." You gently trace over one of Rex's scars and he whispers into your hair. "Did you ever think we'd end up like this?" 

"No, I can't say I did. There was a part of me, deep down, that knew you were okay. No one else wanted to believe but you..." Rex presses a kiss to the top of your head. "I juts knew." 

"That's more than I could say about you." He admits quietly. "My brain didn't know what to think. I understood why you left but I couldn't believe it. I just thought I'd wake up and you'd be there beside me again." 

You curl further into his side. "Well, I'm here now." 

"And I'm so grateful that you are." You yawn in unison and smile at each other. Rex folds his arm under his head and gently taps his fingers on your side. "Goodnight, cyare." 

"Goodnight, Rex." Despite the chaos, despite the pain, the unknown, despite the future, and your past, you both drift off easily enough. You know today isn't the last day of your battle, that some day your past will catch up with you. But for now, you relish in the feeling of laying in Rex's arms again, feeling his chest rise and fall beside you, heartbeat steady, and you dream of the future you finally get to have together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, folks! Thank you all so much for reading and loving this fic so much, this is hands down the biggest fic I've ever written and I'm so glad you all enjoyed it. 
> 
> I have some vague idea's for some one-off chapters (stay tuned) but other than that, this is where we say goodbye to Civ and Rex.


	21. Update!!

Thank you all so much for the love you guys gave this fic - I've decided to put the extra chapters into a sequel called Old & New Habits, just to keep things less cluttered! I hope you all enjoy it!!


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